h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ment to write this journal, or soemthing almost but not entirely unlike it earlier, but was busy.

luckily for me, I'm on a 'forced' break from housework. =- have dusted, swept, and mopped upstairs, and done some cleaning in the kitchen.

was just cleaning the bathroom. - asides anything, want to have a sparkly loverly bath, for later; I've a plan so cunning you could put a a bath bomb in it, add a bath melt and call it... MMMMMMM. ahh, well that's my plan for later, after housework, and after dinner.

so I was cleaning the bath... as one does.... - think I'm getting anemic Just* got it all done, and rinsed and everything...... by the time I was seriously feeling like I'd pass out.

but. being obedient. and good. and well-behaved. I'd never dream of doing anyything so foolish as forcing myself to carry on past the point of no return... so, had to give in, take yet another break more

anyhow, was busy earlier, William came over, and we went into town
pretty-much all the shops were closed
but.

lush was open

spent £20, on a few bath bombs, and a couple more of the gorgeous bath melts that I'd just die without so that's tonight sorted and, a few other nights in the week coming

popped into the little supermarket up the road, as it was open, and got well, basically bought a couple scotch eggs, 2 packets of jasmine tea (special offer), and, another smoothy, and, actually think that was about it

popped into a couple of second hand shops, that were, supprisingly, open, but didn't find anythign of interest; after a box or two, for keeping ... various things in. one for sort of jewlery and the other, something sutiable to keep the lush stuff in, as I've not got a suitable place for it where it'll stay dry, in the bathroom, and the scent, although gorgeous, can be a bit much perrvading the bedroom as much as it can

little more housework to do, then can think about dinner; probably salad with pasta, tonight, and jarlsberg chees, and maybe some ham

Oh.

colours.

of the mind.

I did it. - not for teh entire night, but to start with I did it

drempt, in synesthesia.

It was. really very odd.

I'm not entirely sure I can describe it, really......

OK... here goes;

imagine a dream; you have all the visual, as one normally does, all the emotional feelings, with the visual, plus any sensory/touch, etc, plus the sound, etc, so all the sensory bits, that make up a regular, normal dream.

-----------

take all those bits. all those senses, sound, vision, touch, smell, etc.

convert to colour.

and, then.

somehow...

through just 'seeing' the colour (s), you know all the other senses that the colours, then relate too, or are formed from. or.

hmm. well, that sort of works for me as an explination, but, then again, not sure it'd make sense to anyone else.

and.

before anyone says it; I know I rarely make sense to anyone else, so why am I trying to bother now ...

it... was gorgeous.....

did it for a while (no idea how long, as I was kinda sleep ) at the first bit of falling asleep, so not sure how 'in' sleep I was....

well, probably slept for four or five hours last night, and quite refreshed on it, so far, today... energy has mainted high all day, and I've not had too many ups/down emotionally, for once... whcih is kinda weird...

actually, think I'm probably getting a bit hypoglycemic.... not really eaten sod all today... I kinda skipped lunch, as ... I coudln't be bothered... and breakfast was... quick and not vast

not long until dinner now though...

right. must finish this cup of tea, then get the hoover out, then, really, asides cleaning teh kitchen, again, after dinner, I think housework is more or less up to date once more

this tea is kinda weird;

jasmine and green tea.

its weird, because the green tea (which tastes blue), is overpowering the jasmine tea (which tastes red/orangey) and, the combination of the two, is kinda confusing synestheiacally.... they don't blend... they'y sort of 'co-exist' most odd... not unplesent a colour 'taste' though just... differnt I'm used to green tea on its own, or jasmine on its own... together... not entirely sure it works, either in the colour of its tate, or just the taste/scent of its taste... as it were

not much planned for the next few days, but I think Thursday looks like being busy; PET scan early, then I think chemo clinic, (dunno if they'll do bloods or if it'll just be me seeing consultant), - but no actual chemo that day, due to the PET scan/radiation I guess...

(I was up for having both in one day, just to get it all done... but my consultant just made 'that' noise at me... the one which I'm starting to think might mean she's exasberated with me... - it was a sound she made last time, just before she called me a 'drama queen',.)

anyhow, then Friday just seems to contain the chemo itself, in teh afternoon, so hopefully that'll involve a lot less waiting about, esp if they do the bloods on the Thursday, so they already know I'm able to have the chemo (or not, of course, but I damn well hope its not a 'no').

Then, I guess, a weekend, possibly even worse than the last time... the fatigue in particular is seeming to add up, for the first few days after anyhow, before I settle down a bit, and energy gradually returns, about a week after.... just in time to get ready for the next one MmMMm.... dacarbazine No vinblastine, again, this time, so hopefully the neuropathy will get even less obvious on my fingers... they're still not right... utterly uanble to determine temp properly with them, and just touch in general is so off what it should be... really hoping that isn't a perminant side-afect, it can be, apparently, in some people
Mind, at least it hasn't affected my feet; I showed off to W, about two weeks ago; and undid his shoelace with my toes. - actually quite supprised me, I know I'm fairly good doing certain things with them; picking stuff up off the floro mainly, but didn't realise they were that agile... so worse case I've guess I've got my feet as back up... maybe I should try reading braille with my feet... just... because how cool would that be.. really...

right... tea... then hoovering... then food... then bath then... I'm not going to tell you what I plan on doing after that. -- it does largely depend on my energy levels mind...

I loved your description of the teas! And I do envy your synesthesia dream, it smells all prickly and fantastic! and you had so many hours of rest? That is great news!

I'm a total tea addict now! - tempory? changing taste due to chemo? dunno.... but, I'm drinking so much! some Indian earlier in teh day, sometimes, but mainly jasmine and green - I used to love jasmine tea when I was really young, early teens, but, every time I've tried it since I was always really disapointed; this may all be having quit smoking, I'm getting more taste sense, so now I can taste the jasmine, properly, an other less strong teas; I'm finding.... coffee isn't... its to one note... just bitter; but I used to crave that bitterness; strong as possiblwe!

yes; something has happened with my sleeping too... admitildy I still have off nights, and sleep 1 hour or less, or an 2 hour 'normal' sleep, but, more often than not, the last week, or so, I've been actually pretty much unconscious for like 4 or 5, maybe even more sometimes, hours - not taking any painkillers, I'm so not gonna use them again, they were horrible... and I'm not even taking my melatonin, which I was prescribed... like way back; I stopped taking teh meltonin ages ago, probably oughta tell my GP/doctor I guess; I just didn't think it seemed to agree with the chemo, or post-chemo drugs, or ... steroids or soemthing, so I stopped taking it
have just had yet more tea, to go with dinner. jasmine/green again was sort of differnt taht time.... started very blue tasting.... (green tea flavour), then went a bit more red, dark ... sort of reddy c colours, (jasmine taste), in the middle of the cup, and the end bit... which was getting a bit cold by then was.... almost a bluey green... wonder if I oughta mention the synethesia err synesthesis err... synesthesisa to the consultant... it could be some weird indication of odd 'stufff' goin on inside me... - I've already a I guess for most people what would be..... slightly embarasong embarassing little clutch of symptoms to tell her about this time, so maybe I'll drop the synesthesia one in too, whilst she's probably phsyically examining me... - trust me.... being embarased about anything, when telling, being examined by a doctor, is soemthing you just don't do anymore beyond a certain point of ... time spent in hospitals I gave up embarassment years ago

talking of taste... oh... wow... dinner... there's soemthign I've discovered, a strange combination of jarlsberg cheese, with pasta, that just... mmm does something.... - all yellowy sort of taste... - fusilli p pasta, jarlsberg, cheese, lettuce, cucumber, and some ham formed the meal... and the end result... but especially the taste and texture of the jarlsberg with teh aldenee pasta ... that was so tasty... adn so pretty too!

right... washing up time... then clean kitchen...... - OK.... washing up thus far, then choc gataux, icecream time, then wash up that, then clean kitchen... then....

bath time!

"I kinda skipped lunch, as ... I coudln't be bothered... and breakfast was... quick and not vast"

OK, who are you and what have you done with 2Legs?

Deb

It was far less I wasn't hungry, more I didn't sort of have the time/energy; there is just so* much wshing of hands involved now, in any meal prep, and alcohol hand gel, and my concentration level and general brain-fog, means it takes so much longer; as I've gotta also really concentrate on not cutting my hands off, due to teh lack of sensativity in them at the moment!

but... now I am* hungry... and it is lunch time... a bit late actually, and food is about to happen... specifically, a plate full of toast, with butter, and a 3-egg (hen egg) omelette, wtih hamn, and cheese I think - just gotta try not burn myself agian on the frying pan; my hands can't feel heat properly... but do burn nicely; and with low bloods, burns, cuts etc, don't heel proper - and that leaves me open to infection but... if I wanna have an omlette... I'm gona have an omelette... - just a pity I've gotta have everything cooked 'well', no more funny yolks apparently ; seems I've three 'Doms' now. - have to obey my consultant too, on err... orders of my other two domian'ts

I've such an evil plan of beauty and gorgeousness though... which if my fingers permit, I'll make in the next week or so as a for somone - might be a good test of just how much sensation/feeling I've still got in my fingers, as it'll be a fairly... fiddly project to do/make

today, has an agenda.

eat.
take steroid.
tidy bedroom.
de-hair bedroom.
clean bedroom.
tidy wardrobe bits that remain to be done, tidy 'unit'. (I still can't face the bottom drawer in the set of drawers; its scarey!- I don't recall buying..... some of the more.... odd fetishistic items I spotted in it I mean... I'm really* not into .... err... some of th stuff I spotted in it )

then, I'm gona try sew buttons onto my leather coat, so its wearable again

then I gotta takle my feet
- some nasty callous on them; guess I've been ignoring them; and I don't wanna end up with cracked heels, etc; source of infection of course... so gona have to do them; but carefully; so I'll have to do it slowely, usign the wooden file, rather than bashing into them with the metal one then can momisturise them properly etc later

rubbish nights sleep.

though I did get to hear a gorgeous dawn chorus at 5 AM: guess even insomnia and middle of the night hot flushes have their positive side everything is positive. I'm making it so