h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yep, steristrips £2.99 at Boots (for example) is a good idea to have around the home rather than the expense and effort of going to A+E

as for gluing It is a special glue you need, cheapest to buy it from a vet/vet suppliers, don't be superglueing anything as a home fix 2legs

Superglue can work as a serious emergency measure, but I'd say you're best to avoid it if there's any other option.

Bulldog clips. Sorted

in a serious emergency yes superglue could work and never mind the bulldog clips pass me the staplegun

I was somewhat reticent in mentioning this in 2legs journal without qualifiers on the account of chillies mainly and images of where superglue, or bob forbid where a staplegun could end up in A+E scenerio

for what was only a sellotape emergency as far as I can ascertain

and

how are your pot plants going 2legs?

I must actually pick up some medical supplies, my thought was (far after the event, or time I could have done so usefully), that a large plaster strip could have been cut into strips, to form 'steristrips' to hold the flaps of skin in place, closer enough to heel better with less of a scar/gap Of course, I've got no plasters of any kind in the house despite my quite regular cutting hands, whilst preparing food; most are so small as to be utterly unnoticed by me until a day or so later
likewise, all my knifes in the kithcen are sharp so do a good job of removing lumps of fingers Mind, my most useual one with kitchen knifes, is more a stabbing into* the hand, rahter than slicing into it if that makes sense...

I am still really* tempted to buy myself a proper meat cleaver... though after this recent gash (and now William's seen it today), I expect he'll be even more adimant that I'm not allowed to have one <wah meatcleavers are just the best thing ever for slicing garlic finely... so I've heard

Luckly, asides slicing onions for the onion bread recipie, the only useual frequent injurys from baking bread, are burns, some worse than others; all of which are the consequence of my inibility to find a pair of oven gloves that works... they're all so bleding useless... bring back asbestos I say ...

Mind, I've found a potential solution to this; My Brother is to 'aquire' for me, a pair of leather welding gloves/gauntlets which I think will make a better pair of oven gloves than anything sold as being* an 'oven glove'

I've probably got other scars, on my hands, and other places, which I've just not even remembered are there...

Mind, external scars are nothing... its the internal scars that really hurt...; I'll still never recover from learning the shocking truth about Morph <

Was out in town today... Three seperate people, in shops and cafes, saw my cut (its kinda obvious as its red and inflamed and on my hand, like when I'm getting money out of my wallet or soemthing)... They all commented I should have got it stiched/went to A&E wimps... all bluddy wimps....

Barely a scratch... just a flesh wound really...

Tis but a scratch.

I've cut your arm off!

No you have haven't!

What's that?

I've had worse.

that's a convo between me and regularly. This time he called me at the office. I knew it was urgent because I was in meetings but he called 3 times.

Then it was "I've cut my finger". So immediately i know it is serious. Followed by "I'm on the way to A&E" which means i know it's down to the bone. When someone else calls is when I leave the office to pick him up myself. Like the time they called and said "he's at the A&E because he cut his thumb off". It wasn't actually off, but it left a very nasty car indeed

And he's missing the tips off two fingers. Most military I know are in that kind of situation.

2legs - I dread to think what you could amputate with a meat cleaver.

We now offer a silent prayer of thanks for William, who is all that standeth between 2legs and meat cleavers.

He's also reluctant to let me purchase myself a cutthroat razor, for shaving myself with... Mind, I am quite dangerous enough sometimes with my regular razor
I was a bit mythed, that even the butcher, today, when I went in to buy my sausages and bacon, said, as I handed over the money (and hence he saw the cut), he said something along the lines of 'I take it you went to get that cut stitched'.... and was a bit shocked when I told him no... (think I evoked the 'just a flesh wound' line then too.... Actually, that* butcher was also commenting a while aback, that he thought my idea of getting a meat cleaver to use at home whilst preping food, was a bad idea... health and safety gone mad... that's what it is...

I own... a few straight razors.

I also own multiple knives.

I pride myself on how sharp my knives are.


And then, I tried to shave with one of my straight razors and realized I need to learn more about sharpening.

I'm not very good at sharpening knives... If I were to get a straight razor, I'd probably go for one of the newere ones, where you buy effectively a handle, and hten a pack of disposible blades for them (yes they do exist) though even I accept a straight razor might not be that* sensible a thin g for me to use... though it'd be a neat trick if I could pull it off succesfully

Me mum used to be a barber. Before finishing barber school she had to shave a balloon

now there's an idea; I could practise on baloons, before cutting ... err shaving I mean, my face or anywhere else I wanted to shave, I guess

A balloon covered in shaving foam and then bursting is one of the funniest things I could imagine

I'll have to invest in a web-cam then, should I ever attempt this... might make a viral youtube video... "blindman shaving and bursting baloon covered in shaving foam with a cutthroat razor".... I can immagine more funnier things... but they'd all also be X-rated Not got the energy today for this housework thing bedding/towels still in the machine washing, upstairs, kitchen, and utility rooms swept, hoover emptied, and front room/landing hoovered... I should* give the bathroom a decent clean, and* mop upstairs, plus sweept and clean the downstairs hall and stairs.. but... nah... can't muster the energy today

The best part of the balloon thing isn't the bang itself (well, that is pretty funny because it involves two comedy standbys - explosions and foam/cream), it's the aftermath - the look on the foam-spattered face of the person who was attempting to shave it

I'd not even c considered that... I guess I@d guet quite messy...
I'm seriously thinking a cutthroat razor might not be such a great idea... put a new blade into my Wilkingson sword razor a while ago, just before I shaved and showered... and managed to cut myself twice with it

The ballon is bust, your upper torso is covered in foam, your diploma is down the toilet and you have at least one more year as an underpaid apprentice to look forward to - what's there not to laugh about?

Me mum's father failed his exams for not remembering the Führer's birthday. True story!

My family will never again forget April 20th...