h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A natural phenomenon recently discovered here in South Africa could revolutionize all our ideas about sustainability! This is the Thathe Vondo forest – a region so holy that up till recently no researchers were allowed into it. Only a couple of months ago did a team from the Unversity of Venda finally get a chance – and what they found was beyond anyone’s wildest dreams.

Myriads of legends surround this forest, the relevant one being, that its trees are immortal. That is to say, if you cut any one of them down, it will be found to have re-grown by the next day. Preposterous, right? And yet locals and guides insist that it is the absolute, literal, unvarnished truth. The problem being of course that it was impossible to verify since, firstly, no ‘outsiders’ were allowed in the forest, and secondly, even those allowed in were absolutely prohibited against cutting down any trees. It’s a holy forest, after all.

It can only be attributed to the growing secularization of our times that a team entirely composed of Venda botanists, geologists and some members of other scientific disciplines was finally given permission to enter the forest, and – gasp – to cut down a single tree! They chose a particularly impressive specimen, a Jackal Berry standing 70 m (210 ft) tall and estimated to be at least 3 000 years in age (if not, actually, immortal as the legend would have it). Said team leader, Dr. Kulva Julaleka, defending the choice, “since we got to choose only one, we might as well have had the best one. We got three hundred tons of quality ebony out of that sucker! This helped to defray the expedition’s costs … do you know the going rate for bribing not only the Venda Wizards’ Council, but also the National Department of Environmental Affairs?”

The tree was first cut down and then cut up and the pieces hauled out of the forest by warthogs pulling sleds (the only animals the team was allowed to bring along with them). Sweaty and tired from a hard day’s work the team pitched their tents right around the huge stump and settled in for a good sleep. And, the next morning, lo and behold – the tree had grown the heck right back!

Ha ha, no. That would be ludicrous. There’s no way a 210-foot tree can grow in a single night. BUT …

The team did find that around the base of the trunk, three new shoots had appeared, most probably from root suckers – and had already reached the incredible height of 30 cm/1 ft.

Now, bear in mind, this is not the fastest rate of growth yet reported in a plant. Bamboos had been recorded as growing up to 1 m/a bit over a yard in a single day. But this was just during a single night – eight hours or so – which if extrapolated over an entire day, would put the tree close to the bamboo. Furthermore the Jackal Berry is not know for being able to resprout once having been felled.

The team remained and took detailed measurements during the next two months. Over that period the new shoots *averaged* a rate of about 80 cm a day. Still not bamboo growth-rate territory … but at the end of those two months there were three trees, the one standing 40 m (133 ft), the other 42 m (140 ft) and the third an incredible 52 m (171 ft). Three trees, where one had been cut down – in a way, even more remarkable than the legends claimed! They were not nearly as stout as the original but volumetric measurements indicated a rate of wood formation that exceeded that of the fastest growing tree previously recorded by some 170%.

Testing confirmed that the three new trees were indeed genetically identical to the original, and had originated from root suckers. There was thus a basis of truth behind the myths! The genetic tests also indicated that this was just an ordinary Jackal Berry tree. The reason for its incredible powers of regeneration and growth had to be sought in the environment – and this is exactly what the team did.

Analyses were done of the air, the water and the soil. The last two provided the answer!

The Thathe Vondo Forest grows on the shores of the sacred Lake Fundudzi. This is a lake into which a few small rives flow, and that doesn’t have any outlet. Myths say that the water of the lake doesn’t mix with any other water, and it is also rumoured to be bottomless. For many centuries, perhaps millennia, young maidens were sacrificed to the lake.

The team found in the soil a cocktail of bacteria – the kind scientifically known as ‘good soil bacteria’ – that in this one place create conditions that are absolutely optimal for plant growth. Many of the bacteria species appear to be kinds never seen before. They seemed to be associated with water percolating through the soil from Lake Fundudzi. In fact, there appeared to be some association between the bacteria and the water of the lake.

The bacteria angle does make sense. The lake seems to be of ancient origin, and its condition of being without an outflow means that the somewhat stagnant waters were turned into a breeding ground for micro-organisms, its long period of isolation having given them ample time to evolve into new varieties. Unusual effects that might possibly be attributed to these bacteria are suggested by the frequent rumours of gigantic, WHITE crocodiles in the lake, as well as enormous aquatic snakes. Furthermore, the human sacrifices conducted over many centuries might have actually ‘fed’ the lake bacteria by contributing some precious nitrogen, allowing them to proliferate beyond normal levels.

The mystery of the lake being without outlet but maintaining its size might also be solved. The soil is exceptionally porous; in fact, the water table beneath the forest is a continuation of the lake itself – the trees, by transpiration, thus returning as much of the lake’s water to the atmosphere as flows in from its feeding streams. The warm and moist conditions, aided by the benevolent bacteria, together create growing conditions unrivalled anywhere else on Earth.

After its two-month study the team published its findings through the University of Venda – at first not giving it too much publicity – because of fears over what might ensue. Clearly, being able to boost plant growth to incredible heights could totally revolutionize global agriculture … but also could be unscrupulously exploited. The forest as well as the lake still retain their holy status. The question is: should they be opened to exploitation? If the unique bacteria should prove amenable to being cultured – how much of the proceeds of any technologies developing from them should go to the Venda People? Or should all proceeds go to the Wizards’ Council – a mere twelve men, who proclaim sole authority over the forest and the lake? Now that it is known that the trees in the forest do regenerate, should timber companies be allowed in – seeing as the entire forest could restore itself, after being clear-cut, in a mere two or three months? And – supposing that it does turn out that the history of human sacrifice has indeed contributed to the bacterial proliferation – should human sacrifice be reinstated?

Many, many questions remain. One could only hope that more research is allowed, and that the sensitive cultural issues be handled as respectfully as possible.

Wow,that is really . I hope that non intrusive research would be possible. Do you know anything more about this religion or culture? Is there really a Wizzards council?

Indeed. Many, many questions remain.

I would suggest, if they need human sacrifices, that PETA and the EPA be allowed to draw up the short list.

Excellent article, Willem.

It is very interesting.

If every tree in the forest was felled, repeatedly, I wonder how long the ecological balance responsible for the unusual fertility would remain intact.

If it was found that the human sacrifices had anything to do with the bacteria which were found I wouldn't advocate starting them again - I'd suggest using the lake for burials.

I also note that the Thathe Vondo forest is home to the rare white lion and the Ndadzi bird, and boasts giant edible mushrooms.

Do you know how large these mushrooms grow? Would it be possible to use them to solve the housing shortage while increasing the food supply?

Is it also true that 'So sacred is the lake that newcomers must turn their backs on the lake and view the water from between their legs, according to the ritual after which the lake is named.'???

Very dear Willem,

Keith and I have just spent a wonderful hour and a half reading all about Venda, and the relevant material on this marvellous entry of yours. It is fascinating particularly as it is so near to where Keith was at school which is at Plumtree, in the old southern Rhodesia very near to the Victoria Fall.s

Wjat a wonderful entry. Keith commentented and remembered our visit to both to tje Zimbabwe Ruins and the eastern district of the old Zimbabwe where is apparently when the tribes which he mentions came from they were called the Balc Jews because they were apparently from somewhere in Arabia. I remember as well reading about them years ago.

so it was a lovely period of happy reminiscing and thank you for having given us the inspiration.

I hope some day that you two might meet...

Go well dear freind and thank you so much for giving us that fascinating post.

with affection

Christiane and Keith
AlsoRan83 and as yet undetermined [seudonum!!

Sunday 1st April 2012 15.40 GMT

Hi folks, thanks dropping by and reading and commenting! Dmitri of course I couldn't include everything but I figured those interested enough would do their own online searching and I'm glad you did! Now the giant mushrooms are certainly also a consequence of this unique ecology though the team didn't look specifically at them, mycology sadly not being a very popular field of inquiry amongst scientists in this region. It is a terrible pity because rumours are they might exceed the ones recently discovered in China:

http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2011-08/chinese-researchers-find-worlds-biggest-fungus

Of course this is just the fruiting body. The 'real' fungus is the huge mass of threads that grow inside the trees or under the soil. And that would of course ALSO most likely be positively affected in the Thathe Vondo Forest!

As for using the fruiting bodies to help solve housing shortages ... that too depends on whether the Wizard Council would agree to allow large-scale exploitation ...

Anyways that about the way to great the lake is quite true! But please note that dropping one's pants at the same time is not a good idea ...

You certainly would not attract the attention of any large pythons or crocodiles of any colour! Not unless you are suicidal.

OK Folks this was of course an April Fool's Day joke! It contains a mixture of facts and fiction.

FACTS:

There really is a Thathe Vondo holy forest and a holy Lake Fundudzi. Access to these is somewhat restricted, but not impossible. Yes it is true, the lake must be greeted by bending down and looking at it backwards through your spread legs (and indeed you should NOT drop your pants when you do this). There really are myriads of beliefs and superstitions connected to the forest and the lake. You can just Google to find some of these. The legends include the white crocodile and white lion, giant water snake or python, and the Ndadzi storm-and-lightning bird that can bomb trees with its own eggs to set them on fire. There are many more legends about spirits and dead people coming to life and underwater villages. And yes, human sacrifices used to be offered to the lake. And yes, the story told about the lake is that its water does not mix with any other kind of water. Yes, it is a dead-end lake with streams flowing into it but nothing flowing out of it, and yes, it is rumoured to be bottomless. Of course it ISN't really bottomless. The water flowing into it does probably percolate into the soil and flow elsewhere. It may even end up emerging far away; there are some fountains especially in the dry western regions of these mountains where water emerges that might actually have come from the moister eastern sections where this lake lies.

The Thathe Vondo Forest does grow around the lake. The story about it being immortal is true (I mean it is a real story, not a true story). A guide told this story when we took some students from Germany on a tour of Venda. He said any tree chopped down will have completely regrown by the next day, and insisted that this was the absolute truth. I thought by myself, this would make the forest the only infinitely renewable resource on this planet, and it would be criminal of the Vendas not to share this with the rest of the world. It could keep us supplied with wood and paper forever. So that's where the idea for this story comes from.

There is also a University of Venda (my father occasionally taught there) and thus there are scientists and professors and many people with 'modern' knowledge. It's true that there's a growing spirit of secularisation in Venda and other more traditional regions in South Africa, but there's still strong adherence to traditional beliefs and practices.

It's also true that there are issues regarding the exploitation of 'traditional' resources. For instance there's a huge amount of local knowledge about healing and medicinal properties of plants. If this knowledge, and often the plants themselves, are exported and overseas companies make use of it, how much should the local communities from which this knowledge originally came, be compensated? This is indeed a thorny issue.

It's also true that there are 'good soil bacteria' that create very favourable conditions for plant growth. An acquaintance of mine, a professor, has done a lot of research on this and has cultured a bacterial brew that can be added to any organic material to rapidly turn it into super-nutritious compost. In addition he's devised ways of using chemical defenses occurring in natural plants to combat pests and diseases.

There are also rumoured to be giant edible funguses as Dmitri said, but I've no idea just how big they are.

Now for the fiction!

There is no Council of Wizards. Venda traditional life is still very strong, and there's a royal family and a council of traditional leaders, and a strong belief in magic, with magical healers, but they don't call themselves wizards. The royal family live in ordinary houses in an ordinary looking suburban neighbourhood, and the traditional council is just a kind of committee. It's unlikely that you would need to bribe them or anyone (or the Department of Environmental Affairs) to obtain permission to visit or study anything.

It's true that there are trees called Jackal Berries and that they grow in the forest, but the size and age I gave for that specimen is preposterous. Jackal Berries grow to about 20 m/70 ft max, and probably would only reach a couple of hundred years in age. There's probably no tree in South Africa that's 3000 years old, not even our greatest baobabs. And also very old trees should be proclaimed national monuments and absolutely protected! It's true that Jackal Berry wood is of the ebony kind and quite precious. The sled-pulling warthogs was just to give a clue that this is a tall tale. The name 'Kulva Julaleka' is also a made-up name which when pronounced with a South African accent sounds like 'kul vir julle lekker' (fooling you guys real good). The tone used by the 'Doctor' should also have given you a clue.

The (re)-growth rate of that tree is utterly impossible. The fastest growing TREES in the world achieve about 10 m/33 ft in a YEAR - which is outstanding. It is true that stem shoots and root suckers grow faster than a tree growing from a seed, but still. It's also true that bamboo can achieve a growth rate of a metre a day. But this is during abnormal spurts. Even bamboo generally can't exceed the 10 m/year rate. There are other examples of highly special conditions when plants can achieve incredible growth rates. But no tree of 40 m/130 ft can grow in a year, let alone a couple of months. The world record for a tree to attain a height of 30 m/100 ft is about ten years (IF I remember correctly ... I'll go check the 'net when I have time). The taller a tree gets the more difficult it is for it to gain additional height.
Indeed in South Africa trees are generally quite slow growing. If they can add a metre to their height in a year, it's considered a very fast growth rate. Some desert plants grow extremely slowly: Half-men for instance could grow a centimetre or two a year; if you see a specimen standing 4 m/13 ft tall in the desert it is a truly ancient specimen. Even in forests the trees grow slowly, and also really big trees (which here means 20 m or more in height) are very, very rare. The tallest indigenous tree in South Africa is a mere 46 m (153 ft) tall, and is a Sneezewood (Ptaeroxylon obliquum).

The idea of bacteria evolving in the lake and spreading to the forest is also nonsense. Soil bacteria would be specific to soil, and lake bacteria specific to a freshwater environment. Also even the best soil bacteria in the world could not yield sci-fi-like growth rates. And human sacrifices would not make any difference in terms of 'feeding' the bacteria. They would already get lots of nutrients containing nitrogen from animals drowning and from fish and from crocodile poop. I put the human sacrifice thing in just to make it really absurd.

In the response to Dmitri's post I also lied about how big the edible fungi are. They certainly are nowhere near that giant one found in China. But indeed we're still talking just about the external fruiting bodies ... SCIENCE doesn't yet know just how big the networks of fungal threads are from which these arise, or whether huge regions of genetically-identical fungal threads should indeed be considered a single 'individual'. If so, then fungi would be the largest individual living creatures on this planet.

Clues that this was a hoax: apart from the preposterousness of certain claims, the word 'sucker' or 'suckers' was used three times and the title sounds suspiciously similar in form to that of the book 'Holy Blood, Holy Grail' which is a tome somewhat skimpy on what one would call 'facts', and the inspiration for 'The Da Vinci Code'.

Great job, Willem, as always. Thanks for the followup.

When I was googling, I found an intriguing thread on a website, where Venda and Xhosa people were discussing this information. One thing that emerged: at least three Xhosa ladies were on that site, trying to learn about the lore because they were marrying Venda men.

Finally, somebody asked, 'What IS it about Xhosa women and Venda men?'

It was really fascinating, Willem. Thanks for sharing it. I thought it was interesting about the Venda culture and language --one item showed the family tree of the language ---I had no idea how complicated the situation is. It is no wonder that communications are a problem at every level.

You did a good job making it fun as well. Can hardly wait till next year and I WILL remember the .

Hi everyone! Dmitri, consider: the Xhosas are the culture (apart from us Afrikaners and the Coloureds, who are in part descended from the Khoi-Khoi) that live the furthest to the South in this country, while the Venda are the furthest to the North. So, maybe, there's a flavour of exoticism attached to Venda men in the eyes of Xhosa women … and vice-versa maybe!

The language aspect is also very interesting, Venda being of a different language family to the other 'African' languages here. It's still part of the group of African languages that came along with the people from countries further up North. The earlier native peoples of the South are the Khoi-Khoi and the San, and their languages are (or were, since they're mostly extinct) very different. Xhosa, in encountering these peoples in the South, has been very strongly influenced, taking up many of the click sounds. There was also intermarriage and in many Xhosa people including Nelson Mandela one can see facial traits reminiscent of the Khoi-Khoi and the San.

Elektra, maybe next year I can do a proper fake entry and get it on the Front Page also ...?

Very dear Willem.

Well you caught Me and then I brought K. into it most wonderfully.

I am sooo glad that I had an April's fool joke played on me and fell for it!!. Hook line and sinker.!!!

I hope that you too are pleased that you played a very clever well thought outtApril Fool's joke on probably the only one who would probably fall fopr it as I am a fellow South African.!! I could not understand why we could not find any references. !!!

And of course when we realised that the Zimbabwe Ruins had also been mentioned as the home of your "hero" we were tickled pink.

Well done ou kerel. thank you for your brilliant imagination.

go well,

Alsoran 83, and still trying to run!!
Christiane

Wedbesday 4th ap[ril 2012 12 noon. GMT

I twigged (ha!) when the chief scientist of the team said "We got three hundred tons of quality ebony out of that sucker!" - I just couldn't see those words coming out of their mouth. It sounded wrong.

If not for that, you probably would have got me.


Geggs

Well, there were the warthogs...

Oh yes, the warthogs. You can't really see them being harnessed to pull a sled, can you?


Geggs

We can if Willem draws it.

Thank you Dimitri for naking my lack of "insight" at least a joke.

I feel a proper banana.....

But I hope that I made Willem happy.

I have always been gullible. When I was little my father used to tease me and tell me the most amazing things and I believed them all. I do not mind as it does make life much jollier.
I must admit I never believe horrid things...

something wrong there I wonder......?

alsoRan 83

Wednesday 4th April 2012 3.30 GMT

Perhaps that is why I called myself AlsoRan - always trying to keep up. but i did get my masters degree cum laude when i was well over 50 and my thesis is in both the British library and the British Museum and in the Library of congress; so it cannot be all that bad....
Besides which the housing has improved enormously since the publication of my thesis- Even though I say so myself. !!!!

Sincerely,
AlsoRan83

Wedndesday 4th April 2012 3.25 GMT

Dear Christiane,

Willem's so sly, many people were 'taken in' by his clever April Fool's joke. So you're in excellent company!

All of us who wrote April Fool's jokes hope everyone on h2g2 got a chuckle, at least.

And now, we can all go back to being serious. (Not really. )

Love,

Dmitri

Thank you dear dimitri and Elektra,

Your friendsbip is something which i treasure - as all my many on this site.

Howevwer, I have problems with some.

I have so much to do, and let us face it so little time.

I am tyting to finish three half- finished books. Now i shall be able to attend to them instead of battling for my life...

But please feel free to continue writing to me, should you want to, by snail mail.

some people have this addy.lil has it and I am sure will act as my postnustress, !! As will a few itgers, so i give them permission to let you have my private address.

Go well, and much affection to you both.

Christiane.

4/3/2012 14.15 GMT