h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why aren't we there?

Pretty obvious don't you think? We are part of a game of interstellar ping pong. Every so often some meteor (aka tiddlywinky thingies)comes along to knock us off course. The reason that none of us know this is that the intergalatic warlords are crap shots and therefore are not aiming enough meteors at us in a quick enough time for us to a) notice and b) care. Every so often when they are nearing the target we blast nucleur missiles at them and knock them off course a la Armageddon. The governments released these films so people would be neither shocked nor surprised at their tactics.
Basically we are not going to be in serious danger all the while the warlords are fighting their addiction to towels and their intoxicating effects.

Anyone think I am wrong/nuts/prophetic?
Please feel you can answer!

No, that was all just in films. Can't you tell cinema from reality?
By the way, have you still got your hair in that stuck-on-giant-bagels look or do you have a more nineties style? I need to know.

cinema isn't reality? Say it isn't so!

Now don't you start!
O.K. 42 nah dose'nt work dose it.
I thought we had eaten all the pigeons.
If they are really driven by the mice then dose that mean
that we have eaten all the mice too?

Pigeons Pigeons Pigeons

some other thoughts-
are we;
A)smart apes
B)God`s creation
C)alien offspring
D)not bothered
E)Why are we so bothered
F)hot and bothered
G)keepers of the pigeons secrets
H)that about wraps it up

I'm all for H

I'd like to find a good looking playbeing who is "F".

Ah well... we can argue why forever, as far as I'm concerned all answers are as good as each other, except for the one that's right, which is even better.
Incidentally, I preferred Leia's hair in Return of the Jedi... or was it the gold harem slave gear I liked? Anyway, you could see why Jabba liked her.

yeh but what does jabba know about style?he eats live frogs(and fails to fear the jedi)

How did you know I was here? Have you been spying on me? Is there no privacy left? I knew they'd find me.

'cause if we weren't, there'd be no-one to buy Hitch Hikers Guides to the Galaxy. Why else?
Oh right, the mice!

Here I am, brain the size of a planet and you waste my time with a question like why are we here. Disregard grand and complicated subject matter like quantum physics, mechanical engineering, thermodynamics or beatlemania, and go straight to the gutter with philosophy. And with me having this slow throbbing pain down all the diodes on my right side...

DO YOU KNOW, I HAVE THAT TROUBLE TOO.

You don't have a brain the size of a planet, the mouse in your head is a bit overweight; Thats all.
I assume people have mouses (not mice) in their heads like pigeons do, or do we have some very much wiser animal like a gerbil?

do i smell more red herrings?-waht was the question?

Pigeons are red herrings.
Thank you to all those who stands by my haircut!

I don`t know why we are all here but apparently I`m here to do things for my wife-as in
"I need you to stop what your doing and go to the shops NOW"

doesnt that fall under the category of why were not here?-p.s lei-i like your hair in return(more natural)