h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, this is a very common, confusing question and a good one for a real brain-wrenching boggle. The number of theories are also something to boggle at. Did we arrive with the Big Bang? Did we evolve from surviving dinosaurs? Are we really fifteenth cousins, twice removed, of the ape? True, we do look marginally alike to monkeys, but are we of any relation to them? Or were we formed like planets, from a ball of gases? Perhaps we evolved from plankton or beetles, maybe even daisies. This is surely something worth debating; Our Purpose In Life and How We Got Here.

I no thee answer 2 that: ... dah dah daaah daaaaah!!!
Ware heer bee cos we ear heir bee cos weer hear beek oz weer hee rbicos weer he rib oc oz wir hirkobiz wok izzok woz ik biz ok wizeer bek oz wiz heer because we're hear beck oz were here because we're ... plenty more like that

An wouldn't be much point in the universe existing if we (I) wasn't here to witness it, either.

Because we wanted to!
To the previous message is only one thing to say: Don't talk when you're drunk!

because there is no where currently that we on earth know about that is any better.

Well is there?

That my fellow researcher is a confusing question, to which I am in a confused state,
so I shall try to answer it with as much confusion as I possibly can... here it goes -->

We are hear because we think we exist.

We are hear because we have ears. (sic)

um... sorry I think I missed a bit...
what was it we were to hear?

very loud pigeons i think.

Did you know that in every pigeon there is a mouse controlling it with a tiny steering wheel and paddles?

Or not as the case may be

Don't give away all the mice's secrets. People tend to disappear when they do that.

Why are we here? What's life all about? Is God really real or is there some doubt? Well tonight, we're going to sort it all out, 'cos this is the meaning of life. What's the point, of all this hoax, is it da chicken and da egg time, are we just yolks... eep. Sorry, had a minor Python relapse there. Look at it this way - there IS no point, no great cosmic purpose, then we can stop worrying and enjoy it while it lasts.

We are here to drink lots and dance with members of the opposite sex, as much as possible. Leave pigeons out of it!

Yeah, so get out there and have fun! Where did pigeons come into it, anyway? Let's stick with the idea that we are here to have some beer, go on a rollercoaster, throw up, have dinner with a friend (make that a very good friend), and go home. (With the very good friend). Does that sound cool and froody or what, people?

I am here because I can't be there. I am working on being in two places at one time but have not mastered it yet. So when I do then I can be here and there.

THAT`S MORE WHY YOUR NOT THERE-THAT`S EASY-BUT BY PROCESS OF ELIMATION FINDING OUT WHY
YOU ARE HERE WILL TAKE AAGES-SHALL WE DO THEM ONE AT A TIME?

Why not?

MY EARS ARE BLEEDING

in such discussions my mum always used to say "because I said so"-replace parent figure with divine parent figure (who is-of course somewaht more omnipotent)and it might be a clue towards a cure for bleeding ears(why not eh?)

MY CAPSLOCK IS STUCK SOMEBODY SHOOT ME! MY GUMS ARE BLEEDING TOO!