h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*SMoB stands beside it, shivering*

Inanna looks at you /very/ dubiously.

Still, I suppose that doing it here, we can at least have insulated wet suits and scuba equipment, right? And thermos flasks of hot liquid for afterwards?

Isn't the half the point that we have to have CPR after it?

Or MAYBE.... we could go into cryogenic suspension and wake up in the future.

*shivers*

Hmmm. That all depends on who we get to do the CPR. Do you think Jeremy would mind, in his role as Guardian Angel?

I suppose he might, if we asked him nicely.

*dips toes in lake*
*jumps back*

THAT'S COLD!

*sighs logically*.

Of course it's cold, it's an ice lake. What do you expect? Hot springs?

*sniffs*

I do think it should have the good manners to be a LITTLE warm.

OK.. how about we begin by you teaching it manners and getting it to at least, um, a 'Melted Ice' lake temperature before we even think about jumping?

Isn't that cheating? Won't it kill the whole point of it?

YOU know how it's supposed to go; we jump in, we almost get frozen to death, we have to be rescued, we shiver a LOT and then we're lifelong friends!

I know the routine, I know the theory behind it... but....

*pleading look* .. can't we just be lifelong friends anyway?

/and/ I've got a cold. *sniffles and looks pathetic*

*sniffle* You don't WANT to jump in the lake?

Of course we can be friends anyway, but....

Hey, I never said I didn't want to /jump/ ....

... I mean, after all, the Time Honoured Traditional Best Friend Ritual must be performed right?

I just said I didn't want to get cold and wet and half-drowned. Especially not before we've got someone here to rescue us. What if Jeremy's not watching?? What would we do then???

Well, our cats could rescue us!

Ah yes. Our cats. Of course.

Ummm.. can they be genetically enhanced, telepathic, 200-times-larger-than-the-original cats?

In a nice range of colours?

Do I get a blue one?

Of course you can.

And leathers to match if you'd like.

BRIGHT blue?

As bright as you like.

As long as you don't tell Miranda. She might get jealous.

Shh, you'll wake her up!

Ice lakes, blue leather... she's going to beat me up if she knows I'm doing all her stuff.

OK, I'll whisper instead.

Besides, you can tell her it's totally different. It's cats after all.

And it's only because you admire her so much. As does the whole of the rest of the world.