h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*..is a deep blue Land Rover of the classic box-on-wheels variety. lt pulls to a halt in front of the office area. Emblazoned on either side of the vehicle is the Blue Steed logo in silver*

*parking brake is engaged*

*Odra hops out*

Hallo all! Sorry it's taken me so long to get here.
Brought a barnwarming present, though admittedly it's probably a distant second so far as means of transportation round here...
Currently it's helping me transport some of my tack here. Guess l ought to take it through to the tack room...

*decides to take a walk round the facilities first*

Greetings Odra!

Come join us on the trail ride at Home on the Range!

C

*belatedly sticks head out of upstairs office window*

Dang, Odra, you'd think I would have heard a land rover arrive! Sorry I didn't realise you were here before!

*head retracts -- sound of riding boots clattering down the stairs*

*opening gate* Come on in the yard. Most of these gates should close automatically, but I've been too nervous of consequences to test the technology. The whole core area of the stables, from Outside boxes to the other side of the dressage ring, is all fenced in.

What would you like to look at first? Tack room?

*grins*

'S a very high quality, quiet engine

*pops open door and hauls out some tack...various bridles, some -interesting- looking bits, and her much beloved 17" cutback Lovat and Rickett dressage saddle*

Tack room please! Hope you don't mind my dumping all this in it...

Brand new tack room! It's a palace. *grabs a fistful of oddments and opens tack room door for Odra* Say, did you ever see the picture of the bit I bought in Santa Fe?

*door opens to reveal two groombots at work. One is using a long handled implement to replace a saddle on a peg way up on the wall. The other is at one of a set of sinks at the end of the room, scrubbing green crud off an eggbutt snaffle, whose bridle is hanging nearby on a cleaning hook*

I never heard of Lovat and Rickett. I love a cutback, too. *looks closely at it after Odra places it on an accessible peg* How long have you had it?

lt's an English make of saddle; they mostly do all-purpose and jumping saddles, but this is one of their dressage models. l've had it for about four years, but l got it used, so it's older than that-- a man l know who does saddle fitting had a look at it, and guessed it to be about 14 years old. Was in impeccable condition when l got it, though, l must say. l'm not so good about cleaning it, but it rather is still...
My dressage trainer has tried all manner of tactics to get me out of this thing and into something German, but l've resisted. This saddle's virtually no padding at all, as you see -- no knee rolls or anything -- and that's just the way l like it.

*cranes neck, looking about*
lt's a tack room -- yet so -organized-! And neat! lt's unnatural, l tell you...

l did see that bit, yes. ls that it hanging over there? *gestures*

*proffers a bridle hanging off her left shoulder*
This is a Waterford, here. l always think it looks like some form of jewellry. 'S useful for a horse that likes to pull, though...it works on a mare l've been riding lRL, who's terribly strong. l had her in a full pelham once, on a hunt, and she was still pulling hard enough to break her standing martingale!

*examines the bridle admiringly* Have you ever used a market harborough? Brilliant invention for tactful hands.

I can't get over the difference in philosophy between the Brits and Yanks about martingales. I was taught from day One never to use a standing martingale over jumps, and I don't think there was a single one on the whole yard (which was geared to eventing). But whenever there was to be outdoor jumping practise, we added running martingales. So I get to Florida and discover that everybody thinks running martingales are the appliance from hell.

The official BHS line is that the running martingale allows the horse to stretch his neck over jumps but prevents him from raising his head above the angle of control. The standing martingale is thought bad because it fixes the horse's head and encourages him to lean on his tack.

l myself haven't used a standing martingale in ages, actually (that experience of its snapping rather put me off them!), but my early riding days l was being taught the American show-hunter way, in which running martingales were eyed with suspicion and distaste. l'm not sure, come to think, if they're even permitted (running martingales) in the hunter rings over here. l do know, however, that standing martingales aren't permitted here in official USCTA-sponsored events or horse trials.

l haven't used either sort in a long while, since l've got into eventing, and l've found that working dressage helps with head placement in jumping as well.

What with Florida's show circuits l'm not surprised everyone thinks the standing sort "the appliance from hell"! Are you near Ocala or Wellington or any of those insanely expensive winter show series?
l never did much care for the (American) hunter show ethic...they may look charming, but l'd like to see them perch and tilt and smirk that way coming up to a proper size coffin...
Of course, l'm bitter after two years of an intercolligate-esque hunter series that was even more ridiculously political than the current election fiasco...

*Rides into the yard, followed by his compadres Charlie Bowdre and Tom O'Folliard*
*looks around*

Well ain't this a fancy outfit! Wonder if we kin rest up our mounts here and get em a decent feed?

*his gaze runs along the mostly empty boxes, and stops to stare at the horse in #11*

*hears horses in the yard and comes out of the tackroom*

Well, Mr. Bonney! You are welcome to put your horses here. Do you want boxes or a bit of pasture?

There's a room under the office here where y'all can wash the dirt off your neck ... and you are welcome to stay at the atelier.

*aside to Odra* Look how sturdy those animals are -- all that bone!

*grins at Lil, eyeing approvingly*

*It is two weeks later. The Kid and his compadres have come and gone several times, sometimes turning their cowponies out in the paddock right by boxes 1, 2 and 3*

*Odra has managed to get all her stuff into the tack room and the Land Rover now sits in one of the sheds*

*Lil is now seated in the office, trying to keep warm and reading the trades, looking for school horse prospects*

Now THIS is not what you call a high enthusiasm quotient -- "Inexpensive pleasure horse that can jump fairly high." Don't you love the way they pile on the superlatives?