h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"I have this firm rule about married women: if they are firm enough i'll do 'em"

"love is not blind - it's retarded!"

(guru Charlie Sheen in "Two and a half men")

- - -

i thought these quotes were quite funny, but then i've always been a fan of cynicism, sarcasm and dark humour

i wonder if that tells something about me that i am actually not - or at least i don't think i am?

what i mean is i sometimes - okay, often - parody people (like afore-mentioned sheen) and believe it is quite obvious to everybody i meet that i am in fact only impersonating (because come on, nobody in their right mind would do and say stuff like that) - but more often than not i get the response that people think i am am who i - well - play...

maybe i'm just too good an actor for my own good?

anyway, it's not that big a problem, but having thought about this for a while - okay, two minutes - i thought i'd start a thread with a collection of mottos that could be useful to others.

here goes:

- it is better to regret what you have done than to regret what you never tried

- never let an either/or get in the way of a both/and

Charlie Sheen is best paid actor due to "Two and a half men". a brilliant comedy.

I don't get the first motto , and I find the others OK.
It's not easy to live by them, though.

Never do today what you can avoid doing tomorrow.

oh man, i was going to use that motto, pedantic barsteward.
dammit.

how's about this variant, lml:

never put up till tomorrow what you can have your mother do for you today

Nil carborndum illigitmi

Hmmm, my swordfighting group's motto was "Semper en excrementum sum, sole profundum qui variat!"

i see what you mean, bel

for example my last motto does not agree well with my gout (which seems to be getting better now, thank bob)

mala, the motto you mention can hardly be called a motto, can it? i mean a motto as in 'something to strive for'?

So how about "A woman who wants to be as good as a man lacks ambition"?

nah, now you're just being sexist

One of my Mae West favourites:

"When I'm good, I'm very very good
When I'm bad, I'm better"

How about Ogden Nash's advice on seducing women?

Candy is dandy.
But liquor is quicker!

Billy Bragg:

Some people say that love is blind/ But I think that's just a bit shortsighted.

'Masturbation is the thief of time.'

If at first you don't succeed try,try, agauin.
How's that for a waste of time

'Do Right...Fear Nothing'

Fac Recte Nil Time

my favourite

'Audite panton - animadverto panton – abeo aliquantulus'

note to self. Learn latin.

Hear everything, see everything - change a little

It was the motto of one of the Popes - which one I have never been able to remember.