h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, I would like this too be recommneded... Its a Reveiw/personal feeling on MechCommander, a PC game

www.h2g2.com/A433577

Hi Anxer,

Thanks for writing about something which you so clearly enjoy. That always gives an article great energy and life.

Bearing in mind that people reading your article will come to it without your note here, it would be good if you said at the beginning, "it's a PC game". You could also say who produces it.

Moving on to what you've written: assume that the reader has never heard of this game, and start off really general. The detail you go into straight away will just blow the mind of a newbie, and they'll switch off. You obviously have the overall construction of the game in your mind - try to mirror that in the article, getting more and more into the specifics and adding an interesting fact with each layer of detail.

Maybe describe the single-player game first (that's presumably how most people approach it). Do you always play that as IS, or do you have a choice? Outline the underlying story, but keep it a real outline. Then bring in the idea that in multiplayer you can pick to play as "good" or "bad", and talk about how addictive it is.

First Stylistic Point: if I were you, I'd try to reduce the amount of capitalisation, because it really makes it hard to pick out the Significant Nouns. Proper names only, or key in-game terms, are the only ones that should be so emphasised. You could use footnotes to put in asides describing the strengths of units or groups, and how they fit into the story.

Second Stylistic Point: it's hard to read at the moment because of the way you've used your commas. They should come at natural "breathing points" in the sentence, or when introducing a new clause - and if you have a sub-clause, it needs a comma at the end too. If you want me to give you some examples, I can.

The other thing to mention is that Edited Guide entries should be "impersonal" - so the "I"s will have to go, and it must be more of a review than a "personal feeling".

Okay, that's enough about the way it's written: what about the subject matter? There's no rule saying you can't write (and have Edited) articles about specific games - or, for example, films or books. But from what I've seen get accepted, you'll improve your chances if you can emphasise the elements which make this game in some way unique, especially if elements of it have changed the way subsequent games evolved, or if it's part of the "shared experience of a generation" (like Space Invaders or PacMan). Otherwise, it's a fairly transitory thing: not necessarily ineligible, but perhaps not as worth spending effort on as topics which will be relevant in 5 years' time. That doesn't mean "don't write about it", it's just a warning that some people may not look on it as favourably.

I hope that's helpful, and not too discouraging. It's great that you have chosen to write about something you know about and can cover in a way people will recognise as complete (as opposed to, say, "Computers", or "Love"), and as I say the fact that you clearly enjoy it is also a strength. It certainly made me take a mental note to keep an eye out for the game

Cheers, i'll take it into account thanks. But my use of comma's, tsk shocking... my entire writing style tarnished... . Only joking, I'll update the entry on the weekend.

Hi Anxer,

perhaps you could have a look on the Half-Life article at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A481033 as an example for an edited entry on a computer game. The main point is, as GVI has already pointed out, to have the entry structured in a way that makes it easier to follow. Try inserting some headers. The other points such as style, punctuation and typos could also be fixed by a sub when the article gets recommended eventually.

Here's the URL of the Mech Commander article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A433577

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'The Writing Workshop' to 'The Flea Market'.

The author of the entry seems to have 'left the building'...

Flea Market clean out:

Return to Author's space.