h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hiya,
I'd say I was just passing by which seems to be what you're supposed to do when you appear unannounced anywhere but I wasn't so I shan't. In actual fact I was lured here by your name as I was intrigued to see whether you actually were a large pink cat or not...

Anyway, now I'm here Hello and welcome
Also I couldn't help noticing that you're from Guisborough (it was a tough job but I eventually worked it out) which is why I'm still here as I am too! To me this seems to be a minor miracle as no-one outside of Guisborough has ever heard of it and it's taken me many years to learn how to spell it so it's not often I get to bring it into conversations. So have you lived there long?

Anyhow that's what I wanted to say so...err... bye

Hello Tinkerbell,
First I shall appologise for the paucity of information, but in the middle of typing it, I realised it was time to watch "I love 1977" (Princess Leia middle aged? It's not right) and when I returned my little sister had annexed the computer.

As for whether I'm a saggy old cloth cat or not: in as much as you are a fairy from Never-Never Land and only appear if people believe in you, yes . In fact Bagpuss was my favourite programme when I was younger (I only liked animations according to my mum), so when it came to selecting a nom de net, it seemed the obvious choice.

I've lived in Guisborough since I was about 1, I'm 21 now, though for the past three years I've been at uni in Leeds. Whereabouts are you? I'm in Thames Avenue. I know what you mean about people having heard of the place, indeed when it comes to southerners they've generally not even heard of Middlesbrough or greet it's mention with a cheery "Why aye, man!"

Why aye, man!

Um... sorry... Just wanted to drop in & say hello... Welcome to the guide, have fun, look around etc. etc... The usual stuff...

*grins* I'd say you're likely to find many friends here... but you already met someone... So you know that already...

Anyway... if you have any questions... just ask...

(or check the "Don't Panic" button on top of the screen... But I always think asking is the better possibility... more fun... )

Well... see you around... I'm sure...

*looks at Pete's message*
Umm...I meant all that to

The lack of information was actually quite refreshing. My page is just full of trash and waffle which holds no interest to anyone as I wrote it in about ten minutes when I first joined and had every intention of changing it the next day but somehow I've never got round to it

Hmmm, so you actually are Bagpuss then? Honoured to meet you though you don't yawn as much as when I used to watch you...
Bagpuss was a great programme but then so was magic roundabout which is why I was nearly called Zebedee but then I realised that'd limit me to saying "boiiiing" and I felt the novelty of that would wear off after a while

As for the Guisborough thing I don't live there anymore as I was dragged south at the age of 4 but I went back up again last year and discovered that I lived on Enfield Chase which is not at all where I thought I lived but still. Actually you're the same age as my older brother which means you probably went to school with him...Which school did you go to as he went to Belmont Infants?

Anyway I have to leave as I was meant to be at my mates house an hour ago but he's taking me jet skiing so I'm hoping by the time I get there he'll decide it's too late and let me watch the Grand Prix instead

Bye

Um... was I just called Pete? Or was that just my imagination?

*grins* I have exactly the same trouble with my homepage... Have wanted to update it for over 7 months... Never get around to it...

Pete, I mean Paul . Do you always use so many s?

Tinkerbell: Ah, Enfield Chase, these days home of the speed bumps. I went to Newstead, but Kemplah for the first two years (moved house and my mum obviously didn't want me to have to cross Hutton Lane). Sorry to hear about your exile; that's a cruel thing to do to a four-year-old.

I'm now wondering if I ought to fill up my page as I was going to; perhaps I should limit what I place on it and reserve the rest for guide entries. What I really want to avoid is for it to look like a typical geocities site, you know:

"THIS SITE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION
"I'm Richard, here's a picture of my cat. My hobbies are bridge and drinking . Please sign my guestbook."

*looks at Phillips message*
So you had the same trouble with your page too then?

I think if I had some vague technical knowledge it might have been updated quicker in order to make it look presentable but currently I've managed to break it anyway and I only typed it in plain text...*looks proud* Apparantly mines the widest page on h2g2, it's at least twice the width of everyone elses I did consider using a 'wideload' label but I decided that was probably the wrong image I wanted to give out...

Enfield Chase has speed bumps? FunActually I discovered I have no knowledge of the road I used to live on as my parents went up to see some friends last year and took me with them for the first time since I left. They decided it'd be fun for me to go and see my house but I wandered off to somewhere entirely different and was quite disturbed to find that the house I thought I lived in actually belonged to my mate Paul who lived round the cornerStill not sure how that happened...

As for saving stuff from your homepage to go into guide entries I tried that too and now have many written guide entries on things as wonderful as the Wombles, Murray Walker and mud (well it's meant to be on Silverstone but after this year it kinda merged to an entry on mud) but all of them look so poor I haven't the heart to submit them. Although I guess you probably have slightly more technical knowledge than me but then I'm just basing that on the fact that you do maths and that the average squirrillll *wonders whether now she's 18 she should perhaps learn how to spell squirrillll properly* probably has more technical knowledge than me

*looks at Richards approximation of an intro*
So you visited my page then? Actually my page is like the complete opposite of that in that it has no useful or even vaguely relevant information on it at all. I considered opening it saying "Hi my name is Fiona and my hobbies are etc etc" but then I changed my mind and wrote about spoons, aaardvarks and jelly sweets which is why I think it may need changing at some stage

You drink Old Peculiar? Good choice but another thing that I've never met anyone who's heard of ...*examines sentence realises it makes no sense what so ever, laughs at the concept of studying English then gives up*

Enfield Chase not only has speed bumps, but also those bits where they narrow the road to make people play "chicken" with oncoming traffic.

I have to say the guide needs entries on the Wombles, Murray Walker and mud. I'm trying to give some information on Leeds at the moment, although what I know most about seems to be the pubs.

I'm typing my stuff in guide ML, though I wouldn't say I have that much technical knowledge when it comes to computing; it took me several tries to write in paragraphs.

Your name is Fiona then? Please to meet you.

*grins* You're trying to make me develop schizophrenia, don't you?

I wonder if I should reply to posts to people named Pete or Phillip at all...

But....I suppose I will...

Yes... I suppose I always smile that much... when I'm not depressed, anyway...

You'll have to put up with that...

...and I'm still trying to control myself... There have been posts where there were more smileys than letters...

> > :-> (-: {

Just seeing which of these smilies are recognised.

I'm sure we'll manage to get your name right eventually, Geoff.

Geoff? I thought it was Patrick
Sadly there's only 5 smilies, the , the , the and then two others which I've only been able to randomly do so this may not work which involve the and the :-0 !

Anyway Francis are you an Archangel or an ACE or a something like that and if so why aren't you showing off with the thing after your name...I mean I'm only a muse of Post it notes and sparkley things (both highly valued items but not quite as cool as actually knowing stuff) and I've got that listed

Wow speed bumps and annoying children to swerve, we don't have traffic calming measures round here as all the roads tend to be 50 limits or above but there's a village near me that just got chicanes fitted and they're great fun

Leeds? Well there's loads... There's the 1st shopping centre that's great fun and it has H&M's which is quite good and then theres the second shopping centre which has the markety type bits...then there's that old arcade bit which parents always like, and there's loads of good specialist music shops...
*realises that she only knows about the shopping in Leeds then looks ashamed as she remembers why else she's been*
Oh wait, theres the town hall which has the "National Youth Festival of Music", that was always a novel experience

Pleased to meet you too although there's only actually you and one other bloke called Ian who knows my real name(well and PAUL now ) as I'm Tinkerbell everywhere else...can't shatter the illusions of me being a real live fairy now can I?

I can't figure out the surprised smiley, it's not :-o, or :-0.

Ah, chicanes, we've got some of those in Leeds on Victoria road. They frequently become almost S-bends when people park too close to them.

I suppose I could have written something about driving in Leeds as well, although my instructions on how to get to the station would go, "Heading east along the inner ring road, turn off at the signs for the M1, then follow signs for the station until you miss one and end up driving along a tiny cobbled street, right at the end, round to the left twice and then left at the roundabout thingy," which does not seem all that professional.

National Festival of Youth Music? I'll make a note to avoid that.

Fear not, I shall not reveal your secret identity.

Maybe it's or possibly not...I know it can be done but as yet it remains a mystery to me.

Chicanes are only fun if you can drive quickly round them and in the centre of Leeds I don't think the phrase applies

I think you could be wrong about your directions I think you should use them...however, I have to point out that the last directions I gave out involved stunningly accurate points such as "go straight on at the garage which never has any customers but does have a good supply of chocolate", "turn right at the silly junction with the scary cows in the next field" and better still "when you go past the old man on the bench carry on up the hill and don't turn right past the big trees but wait for the horse looking over the wall and then turn"

Bearing in mind that I'm no longer singing at it the National Youth Festival Thingy may have actualy improved somewhat although as my old school choir still goes I think avoiding it is perhaps wise

Actually the most amusing thing about not being called by your real name on here is that people keep trying to guess what it is and I was even forced to fill out a Bond Girl name finder in the hopes that they'd be able to work backwards and get my real name but no-one has actually thought to ask me yet which would have saved them so much trouble

*laughs* Well... you wouldn't believe me, but I spent quite a while working my way up the forum & wondering why there wasn't anyone called Francis...

No... I'm no ACE, no Guru, no Scout, no Angel, no Archangel, no Patron Saint, no Fashion Consultant, no Muse, no Italic... erm... well... that's pretty much all I'm not, I'm afraid...

Actually... I could brag with that after my name...

...but that space is occupied by advertisement right now...

Well... I've considered becoming some of the things I listed... but... I would only have a bad conscience... I wouldn't be able to be on as much as I'd think I'd have to be, if you get my point...

And... of course I wouldn't tell anyone your real name... Except if they asked, of course...

I can't believe you looked for Francis

Anyway your smiley use is as rampant as mine was until Menza started laughing at me...apparantly I have a habit of being excessively cheerful

And if you're none of those things does that mean we both got here before an ACE? So you were actually showing real computery knowledge? *looks in awe at someone who knows something* WOW!

Anyway you could become a muse like me, I'm still not entirely sure what I'm meant to do but I liked the idea of being knowledgeable about something

I'm sure if I were to write any post-it notes, then your sheer presence would imbue them with a hitherto unseen clarity and beauty, but unfortunately I don't have any.

Victoria road is in the Hyde Park area, which displays busyness in that it is nigh-on impossible to find a (no-)parking space, not in queues (usually).

Thank you for your appreciation sadly I don't think there'll be much call for advice on how to use post it notes effectively... although my best mate leaves to uni on Friday and so far his collection of things he's bought to take amount to a pack of crayola gel pens, a multipack of Dorritos and some fluorescent post it notes so maybe I should talk to him

As for driving in Leeds my knowledge is entirely as a passenger as I refuse to drive anywhere which may vaguely constitute something scary. Whenever I've been on my own I use the train...especially as it's quite easy to find the shopping centres from there

Sounds like your mate's doing a history degree.

Leeds probably counts as scary to drive in, though Middlesbrough is worse in rush hour. At the moment, however, the worst roundabout is slower than usual due to people queueing for petrol.

Actually he's doing a maths degree but as I don't know you it'd be unfair to assume comparisons

Middlesborough just scares me anyway so maybe that's not such a good comparison, having said that I only passed my test a few weeks ago so pretty much everywhere scares me at the minute As for the petrol thing they've completely run out within about a 30mile radius of where I live so currently it's quite easy for me to drive about

Actually I have to tell you something amusing as I've just clicked preview on my guide entry of Silverstone mud, nothing seemed to happen so I clicked it again and I got this message saying "this button has already been pressed, please remain patient". That was about 10 minutes ago so I just clicked it again and now I have a message saying "Do not press this button again" Now I don't know if you've ever seen Father Ted, but there's this one episode where they're on a plane which has a large red button saying, warning do not press... I'm now faced with a dilemma as to whether to press the button again or not, it's so tempting

Press it! You never know something nice might happen.