h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* This small bar is set into the corner of the grand Ballroom stocked with enough fine alcohol for all the Patrons... *

Are you quite sure about that?

I can drink a fair bit. Got any Pierced Nipples in here?
Otherwise I'll have a BLoody Mina.

* M.K wanders in looking for a mid-afteroon drink... *

Oh... Mina !!!

Sitting all alone...

Well, that bartender seems to have gone astray again... what was it you wanted ?

* M.K blinks... *

...but, you already appear to have the first one...

Lord M.K*

* M.K walks back in to see Mina keeled over on the floor from drinking... *

Hmmm... Pink underwear !!!

* M.K thinks of F.C... 'Must be Strong !!!'... *

* Walks away... *

Lord M.K*

*Ivor saunters in brushing hay from his back and sees Mina still bending over

No thanks Mina, I've just had one

Fancy a drink? You're a Martini drinker aren't you?

No?

I'm sure someone said you like any time, any place, any where...

Hello, can I have a gin and tonic please? Heavy on the gin and you can just wave the glass at the tonic bottle please!

The Pierced Nipple is a drink invented for me. It's rather nice.
Stop looking at my underwear, I am ashamed that I appear to have put pink knickers on, I normally only wear black.

I'll sit at the bar to keep myself covered.
Ivor, maybe I do like anytime any place anywhere, but I am still fussy. No Martinis!
MK, I only keeled over at the shock of being served by the owner, I can drink all day. I usually only fall over from drinking if there happens to be a lovely man in the room. Then the floor appears to be such a convinient place.

*GB dashes in and flops down on a bar stool.
I need a drink!
When do the bigwigs arrive?
*adjusts dress
*adjusts stocking tops
*adjusts garter
*crosses legs
*looks around the bar through half-closed lids...

Damn, I forgot where I was for a minute there, I thought I was in my Bank Manager's office......

What's a bank manager?

*flutter of wings*

Ha, I catched you, Mina!

Oh, do you have a Pierced Nipple here?! I want one to, please.

*to Mina: we should tell Goof and Val and Egon about this place, don't you think?*

A bank manager? Well, according to my experience, normally it's a really boring person, who wants to know lot of things, which is absolutely none of his damn buisness!! I hate them!

Hmm, so a bank manager is a bit like my ex-husband, I see.

Yes, I think we should tell them about here, I think they would enjoy it.
They seem to be having a bit of trouble with the Pierced Nipples, so I'll do them.

~mixes half a dozen~
well, we might be here all night.

Evening all,

Evening GB, I see you've dressed up for me again. Fancy a quick one, or would you like a drink?

Sure I fancy a quick one!
Have to be quick, the honeymooners will be here soon, and I have some more pranks, er, I mean, jobs to do before then...

Ermmm, is it me or can I smell kippers?

Hi you two, keep your hands off our drinks!

Mina!
*GB jumps off her barstool, grabs Mina & drags her off to a quiet corner.
*GB whispers in Mina's ear.
A broad smile crosses Mina's face.....
"Sure, sweetie, anything you say"

And what are you two planning?

*Bob walks in whereing a tight fitting black t-shirt and black jeans*
whell wat ever it is it will have to waight
Fancy a dance G.B.
*Bob and G.B. start to dance and as they are dancing they move closer to the door untillbob whispers somthing in G.Bs ear oicks her up and carries her out of the room*