h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When using commas in a sentance, it is incorrect to use one before and as you have below and in several other places.

Meat packing companies moved in, and Fort Worth became the second largest livestock market in the country.

The correct way would be:

Meat packing companies moved in and Fort Worth became...
I'll give it another read through for other grammatical errors.
~S

I would also modify this as follows

There are also some spectacular old buildings including the triangular Flat-Iron building that now stands empty, and the old Blackstone Hotel which is being restored.

There are also some spectacular old buildings, including the triangular FlatIron building that now stands empty and the old Blackstone Hotel which is being restored.

~S

Rather than (But), I would use (However, for those...).

But for those wanting a large dose of Texas shtick, this author recommends the Stockyards.
~S

I've picked up this love of commas and semi-colons. Left to my own devices, my letters are full of dashes and incomplete sentences (like this one!)

It's been a few weeks since I've read it, and I think I have too many commas and semi-colons in my article! I will take out a few. Thanks for the comment!

Hey, compadre - check this out and lemme know what you think. I've tried to add a little more and make it more readable. It's been a while since I actually sat down and tried to write an essay!

*Chuckles* Yes, I know what you mean. I've been out of school for awhile now myself. Let's see...almost 15 years now since I sat in a classroom. I'll give it a read through now.
~§~

Okay, here's the changes I recommend...

The presence of the military in Fort Worth encouraged industries like General Dynamics and Lockheed to grow - major manufacturers of airplanes and other innovations.

I'd redo to this...

The presence of the military in Fort Worth encouraged industries like General Dynamics and Lockheed to grow; they're major manufacturers of airplanes and other innovations.
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The Dallas-Fort Worth Airport3 is one of the world’s largest.

Delete the apostrophe in world's, it's actually worlds.
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In August many of the buildings still have boarded-up windows, and the Cash America building has not been knocked down or repaired, although only the girders remain.

Delete the comma after boarded-up windows, and. Should read windows and...

Hope this helps!
~§~

This monstrosity's gone through so many revisions that I'm starting to feel like Dr. Frankenstein! I think it's much better than the original essay I submitted... Thank you for your assistance! You've helped me tighten it up considerably.

Instead of changing the sentence, I took it out entirely! Put the same info in a different paragraph. It's much happier there.

Are you sure it's worlds and not world's largest? I've always understood that the 's is used for the possesive of a noun.

Actually I'm almost certain of it and my spelling and grammar checker in MSOffice 2000 Pro said the same thing.
~§