h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I know but I can't admit that, Joanna and I have to prove ourselves to be right now we've started

...so thats okay.

...obviously

Some nice brown foodstuffs:

Chocolate cake.
Chocolate torte.
Chocolate mousse.
Ben & Jerry's chocolate-based ice creams (apart from the white chocolate ones ).
Chocolate (dark and, to a lesser extent, milk, but not white).
Coffee mousse.
Coffee. (OK, not a foodstuff, but sometimes I practically live off it.)
Guinness. (See previous comment.)
Onion gravy (which is just fantastic with good mashed potato).
Haggis. (OK, that's a bit of an acquired taste I suppose.)
Most curries.
The rather fabulous deep-fried mozarella things one of my housemates cooked last night.

Some nasty white foodstuffs:

White chocolate.
White pudding.
Raw lard. (Although it can be good in things...)
Flour. (Again better when part of something else.)
Semolina.
Mushrooms (and not just the white ones).
Cabbage that's been on long enough to boil all of the colour out of it.


So it's quite conclusive, you see.

Yeah you're right, it conclusively proves that white chocolate is nicest

Your list of brown food stuffs is somewhat dubious...
1)Chocolate cake is made of either milk chocolate or white chocolate which is oh wait, not dark and manky
2)Chocolate moose? Always either milk chocolate or white chocolate never dark chocolate as it's a sweet, hence the necessity for sweetness not bitter horridness
3)Ben and Jerry's chocolate based icecreams always (well the ones I buy) have white chocolate in them and you can't get dark chocolate icecream. The only dark chocolate in them is the chocolate shapes which are either in the shapes of fish or cows (which further strengthens my argument!) and are designed to be picked out and left at the side of the bowl/tub.
4)Whilst coffee and coffee moose are both the same colour as dark chocolate and are equally bitter I detest all coffee based products so disagree that they can be classed as nice brown foodstuffs
5)Guinness you're allowed
6)Onion gravy is pushing it a bit but you'll note that you had to add it to a white food stuff in order to make it nice
7)Haggis is black and Curries aren't all meant to be brown...unless they're my mates and are burnt but generally they're meant to be bright and vibrant
8)Ummm, can't actually verify your mates mozerrella things so I can't disagree but you will note that once more the basis of the meal was a white foodstuff

As for the list of manky white foodstuffs how can you shun mushrooms? They're gorgeous
And have you tried eating lard it might be nice...I'd volunteer to test it but sadly I'm a vegetarian so with no conclusive proof otherwise I shall have to believe it's very tasty...like dripping but I suspect that's a northern thing

White chocolate cake? I've never heard of such a thing, but it sounds like an abomination. It does sounds like it would be, as you yourself described it, both not dark, and also manky. And really milk chocolate doesn't enter into this discussion since we're comparing the merits of dark vs white, but I will admit 2 things (1) milk chocolate is about a billion times nicer than white chocolate and (2) it's brown, which I think you'll find supports my argument. (It was you who mysteriously claimed that brown foodstuffs were nasty.)

Chocolate mousse is indeed a sweet, but that doesn't actually stop you from making a really gorgeous one with dark chocolate. Believe me!

Ben & Jerry's do sadly make white chocolate based ice cream. But they also make nice chocolate based ice cream. The point being that the white chocolate stuff is intrinsically inferior.

Coffee is the drink of the gods. That and Guinness.

Ah well, the white food stuff in question is the mash, but all my favourite mash recipes have stuff other than just potato in (e.g. veg, or for some Belgian recipes, fruit, which is much nicer than it sounds) so clearly its whiteness has to be *overcome* before it's any good.

Last haggis I had wasn't black - it was much paler, and it was very nice indeed. Anyway, some dark chocolate looks black, so what's the problem?

Actually when cooked, mozarella doesn't remain white - it picks up a tinge. Raw morarella isn't especially yummy, which is presumably because it's white.

I can shun mushrooms for 2 reasons. (1) they taste vile, and (2) something has gone off, and then something else has grown on it, and you *eat* that? Yuck!

I'm aware you like dripping - I just read your report on your weekend at Silverstone... That and your tendancy to go walking and mini-kite flying in thunderstorms.

Dark Chocolate Good. White Chocolate Bad.

All chocolates are equal, but some are more equal than others.

...too. So therefore you must be agreeing that white chocolate is best