h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That you'd really, really like. I'll start the ball rolling.

A bidet.

I'm not going to go into details, for obvious reasons, but toilet paper cannot possibly be the best solution for... the thing it's used for

I understand you can grow in them too

Right now I'm wishing I had an A/C that would keep up with this heat. It's currently 85F in my den/kitchen area. I'll be arranging to have this remedied Friday when I talk to the local A/C guy about getting a ductless system.


And, yeah, I've never used one but I can understand the desire for a bidet.


Ooh... I know what I'd really like but won't be getting. A small dishwasher. My apartment is just not set up for a dishwasher. If I removed a drawer and cabinet I could almost, but not quite fit one next to my sink. The drawer is broken anyway. But when I've looked the smallest undercounter dishwasher I've found is about 3 inches too wide. Of course this is mitigated by the small amount of usable cabinet space I have anyway so I don't have room for too many dishes. (I stopped bringing home free beer glasses a while back).

We occasionally get missives from the office - little reminders of what you should and shouldn't do, like not leaving rubbish outside the apartment before taking it to the dumpster, keeping dogs on a lead (which only about half the dog owners actually do ), keeping only plants, bikes and garden furniture on the balcony, that sort of thing. Only this time there was one I've never seen in the nearly 14 years I've lived here - apparently the a/c units in these apartments are only meant to keep the interiors 20°F cooler than the exterior temperature.

I suppose that's not too bad, except when we hit scorchio, or, as we did many times in the summer of 2011, the upper 100s and lower 110s. 90F indoors is not nice. My downstairs neighbour seems to keep the heating/air conditioning going 24/7, doing one or the other.

I never use my dishwasher, except as a glorified draining board, with a door on it.

I used to work for an HVAC contracting company. ~All~ air conditioning systems are limited to reducing air temperature by 20°F. It's the nature of the beast. Cooling off the condensing unit (the outdoor part of a central air conditioning system) by hosing it down will help reduce the strain on the system and get you a few more degrees of cooling.

Does the thing I want have to be a thing? Because I want a housekeeper.

A housekeeper is a thing

a second bathroom (as in British bathroom - a room for bathing rather than just a loo) although it could be a shower room rather than one with an actual bath.

2 teenaged daughters should be explanation enough

I don't have "2 teenaged daughters" all teenagers are definitely "things"....
sho/flo you could get one of these http://www.gstore.com.au/caroma-profile-5-toilet-suite-with-integrated-hand-basin.html
very handy

A third bedroom. Having 4 people in a 2-bed flat is a bit of a squeeze.

<BB<

those toilets are cool - although I have enough actual toilets (typical German house - we have a guest loo) I actually would like to convert my garage into a bathroom with washing machine etc

I know a family that has a urinal in their garage. It comes in handy at parties.

I don't have a tumble dryer. Had one. Made a terrible racket, lots of heat and energy wasted, and usually, I forgot to empty it. And for some reason, it kept some condensed water in a nook, which got smelly. Good riddance. Everything now hangs to dry, in the laundry room or outside.

I read a (slow news day) story several years ago about someone being fined for hanging her laundry on a clothes line in her own back yard... in California!? She decided to forego the tumble dryer out of a desire to lower her energy usage and carbon footprint. She was fined for causing an eyesore. Apparently she was violating a city ordinance

A more recent story from Bend, Oregon got national attention when another woman was fined by her Home Owners Assoc. Here's the story via Stephen Colbert. http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/bw8v97/the-enemy-within---backyard-clothesline

And since they tend to restrict these by country, here's the boring version. http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB119007893529930697

I'm not going to read those links because I know they'll make me too for this time of the morning (before breakfast), but I'm familiar with the content, having heard stories about this on NPR.

Home Owners Associations. Come the revolution (or the B ark).

I got berated by a neighbour for lighting a garden bonfire one day, in the middle of the day. My dad used to do that from time to time without any problem at all (the 70s), but apparently by the time I had need to burn some garden rubbish (the 90s) the bureaucrats had made a bye-law that you could only light a bonfire after 7pm

And, oh, the irony, it was apparently because people hang their washing out in their gardens during the daytime.

I'm such a low tech kinda gal!

It's around 38C - 100F during the day at the moment here, I don't have A/C, I just open windows and doors! Around 29 C- 85F at night, I pop on a ceiling fan and leave the patio door open a bit. Most bugs don't like the moving air so only rarely do we get mozzie bites.

Never had a tumble dryer so all my laundry goes on a line - I can do 5 washes a day and get them all dry if needed in this heat. Stoopid Home Owners Associations, what's not to like about flapping clean laundry - I love it!

As for bonfires, you can only have them here in December & January and only with written permission from the town mayor. We found that rule out to our cost when a small garden bonfire in November ended up with 3 fire engines in the garden and a stern talking to - with the main fireman asking what to put in his report and he said 'Do you mind if I just put 'stupid Brits who don't know the rules'? That way you won't get the 500€ fine.' Oh, OK then!

Gosho, you need to move to Portugal - by law, every lavatory MUST have an adjacent bidet - in public, business and private loos! I had a fairly small apartment there but there was one main bathroom, one guest loo and an en-suite shower room and 3 bidets! Very handy for washing your feet after a beach trip.

I would like a bigger, more modern kitchen. I have huge open plan rooms everywhere else but my kitchen is a tiny 3m x 2m fully enclosed hole from the 1960's! We renovated 2 years ago and as the building costs got higher, my dreams of knocking out a couple of walls and new kitchen fell by the wayside. It's functional, but looks like hell. Cooking is my passion and hobby and I would like a better space to indulge...one day!

Portugal, you say. Hmmm

Here (among the bazillion other laws) you're not allowed to hang your washing out on a Sunday

In Switzerland the rules are very strict on that, too. They are so strict about everything, it's quite funny. In fact one of my favourite films is about that. (Die Schweizermacher with Emil Steinberger - probably a bit dated by now, but I loved it at the time)

I've heard about the rules in Switzerland, like not using your washing machine, for instance, after a certain time in the evening if you live in a block of flats.

They can seem excessively restrictive and overbearing to some of us, but if you've ever lived next door to or underneath (or even with) someone with no idea of how much noise anything they do makes, stays up late and has no sense of organisation in their life, rules like those can be a godsend.

Just one thing.... a big, proper, walk in shower room... mind, a more uptodate kitchen would be nice too... as would a bidet, or, indeed a downstairs urinal or, indeed, a garden...

Canning jars! Those of you on fb know that we brought home a 5 gallon bucket full of blackberries last night (and that all the humans in the family have been eaten or transformed, leaving the to eat the blackberries, but that's neither here not there)