h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I guess this is number three in my collection of WTF-ness.

First there was 'Seriously?' F50359?thread=7803242 which mostly chronicles stupidity. Then there was 'Zaphod, I can't help what you may personally be in orbit around' F50359?thread=8096211 which, as the title suggest, highlights people whose thoughts or actions strongly suggest that they're simply not on this planet.

This one is going to be full of stuff that just makes you go Like this:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19620164

"It carries a picture of the duchess, topless, on its front cover with a headline that reads: "The Queen is Nude!"" and then: "Mr Signorini said the series of pictures were "not particularly sensationalistic"



"He said: "Why, I wonder, Kate Middleton, for now Duchess of Cambridge but future queen of the United Kingdom, should be different from girls her age?"

Umm... "future queen of the United Kingdom" and "[not] different from other girls her age"?

when they read the text on the PM Programme this afternoon, I had to keep shouting at the radio: she's 30 she's NOT A GIRL.

I nearly had to go for a lie down.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19645273

"Jim West, a professor and Baptist pastor in Tennessee, said: "A statement on a papyrus fragment isn't proof of anything. It's nothing more than a statement 'in thin air', without substantial context.""

And the Bible is... what, exactly?

"Wolf-Peter Funk, a noted Coptic linguist attending the same conference as Ms King, said there were "thousands of scraps of papyrus where you find crazy things," and many questions remained about the fragment."

HA!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-20031625
"McMillan Williams Solicitors, which describes itself as a specialist in Taser-related injuries, is representing Mr Farmer"

Can you say 'ambulance chaser'?

I'm rather intrigued to know just how many "Taser-related injuries" there can be in the UK in one annual year, annually.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-20206389
"If you want to cut carbon dioxide the first thing you have to do is shoot everybody in the island as one of the big sources of carbon dioxide is every time we breathe out."

You know what's really worthy? That the anonymous BBC "journalist" left that statement unchallenged. Also, I see the usual false "fairness" doctrine that gives equal validity to both sides of an issue regardless of how unfounded, ignorant and asinine one side might be.

To be honest, I don't think a statement as ridiculous as that needs challenging. It stands on its own stupidity.

It's similar to what I thought the first time I heard about the 'greenhouse effect'.

But then, I was in the first couple of years of primary school at the time.

Well, it's pretty easy to understand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqVyRa1iuMc

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/formula1/20191753
"The 13-time Grand Prix winner previews the layout of the new circuit, which will host it's first Formula 1 race on Sunday 18 November."


And as for the stereotypes in the intro, which bear no resemblance to any part of Austin I know... Looks more like southern Arizona to me. Nice one, BBC.

Bob save us from business speak http://petebrown.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/a-craft-styled-australian-beer.html

Let me save you the trouble of reading the entire piece, unless you really want to.

"In the UK and pretty much everywhere else we have commenced sales the brand name alone transports the consumer to one of the most aspirational locations in the world - Bondi Beach and Australia. There is probably no other brand in the beer market that so clearly stands for Australia and all things Australian, just in its name."

"Bondi Beer believes it has created a new beer category - a fusion beer. We don't mean blended with fruit or other flavours but a fusion of craft-style flavour experience with the easy-drinking profile of a session beer."

"The growth in the demand for craft or microbrewery beers, which is where the Bondi recipe originated also presents challenges for their uptake by major retailers, wholesalers and distributors. This local heritage and branding tends to restrict craft beers at best to a regional distribution model and it is a challenge to appeal to the wider consumer base to position the brand story and deliver the points of uniqueness."

"We have spent two years developing Bondi Beer, a beer that delivers a craft-styled Australian beer experience with a session beer drinking profile. Combined with the ability to produce in scalable large volumes and a quality control and production process that ensures consistency of experience we can also deliver across a range of packaging to suit the various channels to market from 9 month shelf life PET, cans, glass and soon one way recyclable kegs."



Pete brown mentions Goose Island in his piece. They've recently been bought by AB InBev (the AB stands for Anheuser Busch in case you weren't aware - the people who make Budweiser - and the InBev part is beers such as Stella Artois, Becks, Bass and a gajillion others... or is it a bazillion?). I recently read a press release from AB InBev explaining how the president of Goose Island (possibility the founder, I'm not sure) is leaving his post to head the Anheuser-Busch Craft Advisory Board. I won't bother you with the release itself, just the fact that it too is peppered qith business speak and that the word 'brand' appears 13 times, but the word 'quality' just once.

"The is the famous Budweiser beer. We know of no other BRAND which costs so much to brew and age. Our exclusive beechwood aging produces a taste, a smoothness, and a drinkability you will find in no other beer at any price."


(That's one of the very few things I've memorized from my college years.)

How many... let's call them exaggerations, is it possible to fit into three sentences?

Well, keep in mind that this logo is quite old.

Credo/logo/statement...whatever

True, and when it was written you could probably count on one hand the beers in the US that weren't an American adjunct lager, such as Anchor Steam and Shiner Bock for instance, but outside the US...

I doubt anyone would have counted Shiner Bock as it was only a little known, local, seasonal beer. Shiner Premium (or possibly labeled Shiner Special then) was probably known as the "cheapest beer in Texas", at least according to one old fart I knew.

Actually. AB probably predates Spoetzl brewery altogether as it got started in 1909.

When did the Budweiser slogan originate?