h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I posted this one awhile ago but it went unnoticed, so I'll give t another shot:

http://www.h2g2.com/A404588


Have fun.

Triv

It's a good 'un. Really. It's written well, it's funny (well I thought so). It deserves to be read.

But.

The Guide is looking to tell people stuff that they didn't already know. Amusing articles are just dandy IF they also get across a decentish bit of factual information. You could maybe make the argument that the types of handshakes listed are information, but I'm guessing that they were listed for people to identify with, and laugh about. In which case, it's not anything that they didn't already know.

Please don't be discouraged by this. I'd really like this to go in, and that's pretty much all it's missing. It's up to you what kind of focus you want to put on it. If you want to keep it as the types of different handshakes and their meaning, maybe you could look up some stats and reasons on WHY exactly it means what it means. For eg, I saw a show or read a book that demonstrated that someone who holds out their hand to be clasped with the back of their hand pointing slightly upward of horizontal is in effect telling the indended shakee that, "I am dominant. Submit". And if two dominants shake there will be a strong grip, but also a strong rotational force as neither will want to 'submit'.

The only other things I could see were niggling:
It might read a bit better if there weren't three footnotes in quick succession. Maybe you could drop the second.
It would also read better if you removed the paragraph division before the sentence starting, "If you are...". This paragraph refers to something of "equal importance". To what? This paragraph is really not significantly different in subject than the previous. Try it. You might like it
The focus of the article is the different varieties of handshake. As such, I think that the main subject matter should be identifiable when the article is first displayed. You could use the tags:

Handshake #1: Text...
Handshake #2: Text...
Handshake #3: Text...

To make an indented list.

All of these are just suggestions. Another scout might look at in in five minutes and recommend it. But keep at it. Good stuff.

I agree with Haze. I also think that this entry could really be helped along by some information on the history of the handshake -- when/where did it originate? Do handshakes mean different things in different cultures? Which cultures today do not use handshakes?

mikey

I have to agree with the other scouts - this is a good entry, with nice use of humour - but it needs expanding, and a clear focus... there's so much left unsaid... it's an interesting topic, and I don't think this entry quite does it justice... :( you might add in what's in here - http://www.h2g2.com/F49970?thread=72918 - as well as listening to the other advice you've received... :) I suspect that this entry may have to be moved to the writing workshop, as it does appear to be something of a work in (slow) progress...

As per other replyists nice article, needs to be formatted better but otherwise great.

I thought I could give you some additional info:

- the handshake derives from the practice of enemy soldiers meeting each other. To show that they were not carrying a weapon they would outstretch the right hand thereby showing that they were not concealing one behind the back. [Badly written but you get the point]
- I once saw a programme about handshakes, well it was more of a feature on a Richard & Judy type proggy. One of the 'shakes they mention that you do not seem to have included is where the other hand touches the elbow of the other person. They also had what you call the Vicar 'shake (they called the glove). One of the two (the elbow one I think) is meant to be a way of showing someone that you're really pleased to meet them and the other (the glove type, I think) was used by LBJ and does not.

How would people feel about moving this one to the Writing Workshop? I think we've all agreed that it needs more work, and not much has been done on it since it was posted to peer review.


Mikey

Editorial Note: This Conversation has been moved to the new 'Flea Market' Forum.

This is where we move any Peer Review, Writing Workshop or Alternative Writing Workshop Conversations where the original author has *not* posted to h2g2 for three months. This prevents the active Review Forums from clogging up with dormant entries, but in the Flea Market they can be picked up by others and polished off.

I'll have a bash at taking this one on, the new Entry is here A19774461

Emmily