h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: A Visitor's Guide To Leeds, West Yorkshire, UK - A87736657
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

A Flea Market rescue. The original (A2100439 Leeds, West Yorkshire) was by Dinnerlady (U240568) and Number Six (U115522).

Half of the original was a visitor's guide to Leeds, with a History of Leeds copied and pasted from the Leeds council website on the bottom. Being the 3rd largest city in the UK, it is impossible to write about every aspect of Leeds in one article, so this article is concentrating on summarising information for visitors. As it is a summary there are several buildings, attractions etc that could easily have a whole article about them that are mentioned briefly in passing. This article is an attempt to highlight useful and interesting things for a visitor to know rather than provide too much detail.

Despite being from the Isle of Wight, I have visited Leeds on many occasions as that is where my inlaws have lived for over a decade.

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*cough*

It's Leeds United AFC, commonly referred to as Leeds United and never Leeds AFC.

Elland Road has hosted a few Rugby League finals and internationals (and this summer, a rugby league international final) - not sure whether there's room to mention that though

Great entry though Bluebottle. Nice job.

Good points, I've ammended Leeds United and added a footnote.

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Could the entry get a better hook for the opening paragraph? Something about how even though it's in Yorkshire, it's a world city? Or because it's in Yorkshire, it's a world city? Or...

Is it possible to get a link to this Dalek building? The first thing any reader from abroad will want to do is see that. I also suggest linking to A395723 (Daleks) for the rare individual who lives under a rock and has never heard of them.

Could I suggest you move the first sentence under "Orientation" up into the intro? You could make it something like:

"If you haven't been to Leeds before, there's no need to worry about getting lost - The central shopping district is on a hill, so north is always uphill and south downhill!"

(The reason I say this is that I think it's better to keep the logistics of how to get there to the end, after telling them why they would want to go.)

Could you put footnote three into the body of the text? This is one of the most interesting things about what's just another shopping centre otherwise.

Hello – thanks for the excellent suggestions from you both.

Could the entry get a better hook for the opening paragraph? Something about how even though it's in Yorkshire, it's a world city? Or because it's in Yorkshire, it's a world city.
I'm not really sure what a 'world city' is supposed to be, as surely all cities in the world are cities equally on . However, with regards to improving the opening paragraph:
I suggest you move the first sentence under "Orientation" up into the intro.
Yes, this has been done.
Is it possible to get a link to this Dalek building?
I've looked, but sadly Bridgewater Place doesn't have an official website. You can see it in the news occasionally, such as http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/8374281/Police-investigate-Dalek-after-man-killed-by-overturned-lorry.html but a Google Images search comes up with lots of photos.
I also suggest linking to A395723 (Daleks) for the rare individual who lives under a rock and has never heard of them
There are such people? Good suggestion, though - link added.
Could you put footnote three into the body of the text? This is one of the most interesting things about what's just another shopping centre otherwise.
Yep, now added into the body of the text.

Thanks once again for your help in making the article better.

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Have we not got a Yorkshire researcher who can get you a picture? Might be worth mentioning in Ask...

This is very comprehensive and well researched.

Though I agree with Dmitri that it could do with something at the beginning to make us read on. Something bold like 'Leeds could claim to be the capital of the central part of Northern England, though the citizens of Bradford might beg to differ'

In the section on location you don't mention the river Aire, though you refer to it later.

In the section on pubs and restaurants, you might mention that the city has a wide range of restaurants that reflects its ethnic mix. (Though I think it's Bradford that claims to be the curry capital of Britain!)

Some detailed crits:
in para 2, you repeat the sentence beginning "The central district is on a hill"
in para 4, I suggest 'It is possible to catch trains to most destinations in the UK, and services on the East Coast Line reach London in 2 hours.'
in the seventh para, I don't quite understand the statement "Sadly Leeds is harder to get round the centre of than it is to get to." Do you mean that it's congested, or it's not pedestrian friendly?
In the sentence on the attempt to introduce trams, avoid putting 'cancelled' twice.
Under places to visit, I would change the descrption of the clock to "It was built in 1900 and has four life-size quarterjacks, which...."

Thanks for all your suggestions.

I agree with Dmitri that it could do with something at the beginning to make us read on.
I've lengthened the opening sentence, claiming that Leeds is 'effectively replacing York as the capital of Yorkshire'. "capital of the central part of Northern England" is a good suggestion, but seemed a little long.
In the section on location you don't mention the river Aire
I do now.
In the section on pubs and restaurants, you might mention that the city has a wide range of restaurants that reflects its ethnic mix.
I didn't want to go into too much detail about shops, clubs and restaurants (as they close and re-open so quickly), but this makes a very good point.
You repeat the sentence beginning "The central district is on a hill"
Fixed
I suggest 'It is possible to catch trains to most destinations in the UK, and services on the East Coast Line reach London in 2 hours.'
Good suggestion!
I don't quite understand the statement "Sadly Leeds is harder to get round the centre of than it is to get to." Do you mean that it's congested, or it's not pedestrian friendly?
I meant that it is harder to get around the outskirts and out of the centre. Hopefully it makes more sense now.
In the sentence on trams, avoid putting 'cancelled' twice.
Changed
I would change the descrption of the clock to "It was built in 1900 and has four life-size quarterjacks, which...."
That reads better, so that's changed too.

Thanks for the comprehensive critique.

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" 'Leeds could claim to be the capital of the central part of Northern England, though the citizens of Bradford might beg to differ'"

So speaks a man who's never been to Bratfut...

That opening works much better now.

Yes, that beginning is much better. Though you might still risk annoying some citizens of Bradford!

I'm still troubled by the sentence 'Sadly Leeds is harder to get around the outskirts of than it is to get to.'
I think it would be clearer to put 'Sadly, it is harder to get around the outskirts of Leeds than it is to get to the city.'

Under 'Theatre and Cinema' you might mention that Leeds Town Hall is a well-known concert venue, which hosts the Leeds International Piano Competition, among other things. It's also a splendid Victorian building.

Leeds also has a university, of course.

Incidentally, I'm not pushing the attractions of Leeds. I have in-laws in the area, but my favourite city remains Brighton!

Thanks for the great suggestions and comments.
You might still risk annoying some citizens of Bradford!
Not my fault that Bradford's smaller than Leeds. Leeds is bigger, fact. Accept it, and move on. (I don’t dislike Bradford, and have been to the Museum of Film, Photography and Television or whatever its calling itself now many times, and I have included reference links to the articles on Bradford)
I think it would be clearer to put 'Sadly, it is harder to get around the outskirts of Leeds than it is to get to the city.'
I agree, so this is changed.
Under 'Theatre and Cinema' you might mention that Leeds Town Hall is a well-known concert venue, which hosts the Leeds International Piano Competition, among other things. It's also a splendid Victorian building.
Another good suggestion, a paragraph to that effect has been added.
Leeds also has a university, of course.
It has 2 and a half! The University of Leeds and Leeds Metropolitan University (I've had job interviews at both of them, didn't get any jobs, though) and Leeds Trinity University College. I'm not sure whether visitors would be interested in knowing about schools, colleges and universities. I'd mentioned the University of Leeds' Gallery and have now mentioned their founding in the timeline. Perhaps someone should write a student's guide to Leeds?

My favourite British city is probably Winchester, as it is quieter, smaller and much, much greener than Leeds, followed by York, Southampton, Salisbury, Durham, Edinburgh and then possibly Leeds. Good to visit, and although I did stay there once for 3 years, I'm not sure I'd really want to live there.

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This is good now.

But I did wonder if it would be more logical if the section on history came before that on places to visit?

Just a thought. I don't know what other people think.

I had put it there as I thought it made sense to say what there is to see in Leeds after writing about how to get there, but would like to hear other people's points of view.

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I like the history at the end.

Great entry, and very timely, as I'm having to make an 'enforced' visit to Leeds and may well stay over for the weekend, as I'm there Monday to Friday.



Shame we don't have a 'cripple' or 'disabled' smiley, so places could be labelled as good or bad for people like me. Saves having to scour other sites which may, or may not, give an indication.



MMF

Are you happy with this now?

MMF;

Get that suggestion into Ask. It's a genuinely useful suggestion for a smiley that could really help with this sort of EG entry. If we've got a facepalm for the conversations, we should have a useful "disabled access" smiley for the Guide.

Sounds a sensible idea to me.

And yes, I'm happy with this entry if everyone else is?

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