h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Project: The Greco-Persian Wars - A9820992
Author: laconian - U1477064

Uni project by laconian for review, don your armour!

Submitted 8 August by Galaxy Babe Sub-Ed

For ease of reference to each Entry.

A9836698 The Combatants

A9902298 The Ionian Revolt

A10083395 The Battle of Marathon

A12889146 The Battle of Thermopylae

A13114748 The Battle of Salamis

A13169153 The Battle of Plataea

A13208302 The Battle of Mycale

A3998767 The Greco-Persian Wars

Suggest each Reviewer keeps comments to this thread, not at the Entries, so as to keep things easier for the Sub

Sorry!

Thank you Matt

Hello all .
If anyone thinks I have not described a certain action in enough detail, or missed out some important information, or if you think a map or illustration link is needed, or if anything is unclear, then your wish is my command .

I'll have a proper read when I have some more time, looks like great stuff on very quick peeking

A9836698 The Combatants

The Persian Empire was arguably the world first real superpower.

world's

Before the Persian Achaemenid dynasty took power, the Iranian plateau was ruled over by the Medes, with the Persians as a subject population. It was the son of Achaemenes, Teispes, who led the nomadic Persian people into southern Iran, where they settled and formed, for the first time, an organised Persian state in and around the region of Anshan.

An awful lot of commas in there, can it be rephrased or punctuated a bit more concisely?

This idea would soon develop until it was considered the sacred duty of the Persians to root out outposts of the Lie wherever they found it, (say, in another nation), and bring the light of Truth there (by conquering the said nation)

Don't think the comma is necessary after found it

Are there subheaders missing concerning language/economy?

Nice read

A9902298 The Ionian Revolt

In the winter of 499 BC, an Ionian posing a Persian loyalist travelled to where the Persian fleet was docked north of Miletus and, persuading the Ionians serving there to join the rebellion, stole the lot.

Missing an 'as' in there I think

On one side, freedom - on the other slavery, and the slavery of runaways, at that.

Where's this from? Who said it?

Compelling read though

A10083395 The Battle of Marathon

Looks good to me, although I'd question the 26 kilometre reference in regards to Marathon - as that is actually the distance the modern marathon is, instituted by the English Royals at one of the first modern Olympics. I believe it was the distance from Windsor to somewhere else. Not sure though, research would discover the truth

A12889146 The Battle of Thermopylae

Whew! Comprehensive! Loved it though. Is it worthwhile mentioning the fiction stories written around some of these battles, in a similar vein to the Sharpe books? I can't recall the author. Or the titles. That's a help isn't it?

Hang on, I better retract the post I made this morning at EF saying this was ready

A13114748 The Battle of Salamis

they had more (and better) ships

Not sure about 'better' - doesn't trip off the tongue very well. Perhaps another synonym?

the oracle again

Oracle surely.

Crikey, puts you in a fighting mood all this talk of hoplites and the such!

I did say I'd be back when I had more time

A13169153 The Battle of Plataea

The army the Greeks fielded at Plataea was the largest single force an alliance of the Hellenic city-states had ever fielded.

It's a perfectly fine opening sentence, it's just to me the use of the word fielded twice makes it a little...well I dunno. Leave it if you like, just my preference for something different I think

now redeemed himself in a berserk fury

I think, but I could be wrong, it's actually a 'beserker' fury

This is a great Entry, it reads really nicely. Ic - you've worked long and hard on these. (and you too GB )

A13208302 The Battle of Mycale

Compared to the greater battles, we know relatively little about the engagement. We do not have detailed sources to build up a picture of what happened, and for this reason it has not attained the legendary status of the battles of Marathon, Thermopylae and Salamis.

Is the 'we' necessary? You can just say there is 'relatively little known about', and 'There are no detailed sources'...

Short and sweet, much like the battle I imagine Nice one

A3998767 The Greco-Persian Wars

He worked to reorganize the Empire, and secure and expand its outer boundaries.

Ah, the dreaded 'z'. I'll leave that up to the conjecture of others

Well, this one is a fantastic Entry in itself. Comprehensive and perhaps a little too comprehensive. I lost it through some of it, but maybe because I'd already read about each separate battle

All in all though, a fascinating look at a subject I only knew little about, and now feel a lot more educated.

Thanks for taking a look through it. I'll look through your comments and consider the changes and suchlike sometime today (not that I'm rushed off my feet, but I do like to have time to just lounge about ).

Re: post 8 and the marathon:

"The marathon race was the invention of Michel Bréal, a friend of Pierre de Coubertin, who proposed adapting the legend of the messenger Pheidippides to form a centre-piece for the first revived Olympic Games in 1896. The race was to follow the legendary route from Marathon to Athens (40 km) that Pheidippides ran back in 490 BC...

In 1908 the distance was officially set at 42.195 km (26 miles 385 yards), a curious figure which represented the distance from Windsor Castle to the White City stadium in London, which included the competitors running about two-thirds of a lap on the track."

From the IAAF website http://www.iaaf.org/theSport/whatisathletics/TrackandField/disc=mar/index.html

Lounging is priority in this household. You don't know how to lounge, then out on your ear. Unless you come bearing gifts. Expensive ones.

But, honestly, very enjoyable read. I'll try and track down that author and the books I mentioned for you

ahh, there you go! I knew there was more to Marathon than chocolate bars with name issues. Rockhound

There is one novel which mentions Thermopylae that I know of, which is 'Spartan' by Valerio Massimo Manfredi. But isn't there one called 'The Gates of Fire' by someone or other?