h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i've been thinking it would be rather nice to take the portraits out of their frames and carefully glue them together, back to front to back to front, like an enormous epoxy (or perhaps cassein glue would be more appropriate) portrait sandwich. and then open a very small stall somewhere, or perhaps a travelling van like an icecream vendor! which could be the national portrait sandwich gallery.. and perhaps people could by slices of it, very thin slices from the edge working inward, so conceivably you could own a fragment of every picture currently in the gallery...i imagine these slices could look pretty good if sympathetically hung...
and i knew someone who had a pickled sheep (a lamb actually), she photographed herself with it cradled in her arms like madonna and child..strange lass..good image though.

What heresy is this? I'll have you know that I am going to own the National Portrait Gallery and everything in it, once I become a terribly famous novelist/playwright/artist, etc. - you get the picture; consequently I'll be damned if you're going to glue them together, let alone cut them up...

If you own evrything in the National portrait Gallery, does that mean that if sumthing gets stolen, you would have to pay for it? And if you sold portrait sandwhiches, how much would they cost? If you glue them together, depending on what type of glue you use, wouldnt the colours run? And would you have modern sandwhiches seperate from the old sandwhiches? Or would it be a mix? And do they come with sauce?

*Cezanne on rye bread with Heinz salad cream (nething tastes supreme with Heinz salad cream)*

For God's sake, no salad cream! No Cezanne, either - not that he painted portraits, anyway.

em, "meet the new boss same as the old boss"...
actually on second thoughts, maybe a roll would be better, middle eastern style, easier to cut as well, but you cant eat it silly!! its made of old paintings, recontextualised! equalised! cezanne's just part of the mix..
there must be a better way to use the NPG, now that those nasty old canvases have been rolled and are travelling around in the back of the truck, bringing art to the masses in an easily consumable everybody gets a piece of the action form.
what about a giant sauna??
or an aquarium with every red fish on the planet represented, no other colours, excuse me!!
and when are you going to begin posting your theatre masterpiece - it could be serialised, maybe you could say who the characters might be, f'rinstance..

Maybe. When I've written it.

maybe you could start writing it here at h2g2. and your mates can offer suggestions...
science fiction perhaps? concerning U marine the red fish queen of...?it could be about interplanetary cultural imperialism.. or maybe you go for something more j.austen-tatious....

Queen of the GOLD -!!!!...

Plus I hate Jane Austen.