h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here's an odd thing about the metal detector portals that we've all got to go through. They're all set differently. Which is strange because you'd imagine that every airport (no matter which country) would be looking for roughly the same things - but no. The foil in cigarette boxes, for example, will pass through Dublin's detector without so much as a dull burp. Try going through Heathrow carrying the exact same things however and the machine will totally loose its reason (as will the security people who'll probably believe that the smokes in your pocket are laden with some, previously unknown, vegetative explosive device).
A further tip - never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever wear steel capped boots while travelling through an airport - unless that is you enjoy full cavity searches.

Some parts of the Middle East in the 80's had their detectors cranked all the way up to "Paranoia 11/10" - the occassional metal screw and pin in my wrist would have them reaching for the rubber gloves

I think they'd been watching too much Inspector Gadget

;^)#

For some reason the metal detectors never go off for me. I never enter my pockets, which always have keys and loose change in them.

And I have gone through some sensitive ones, where the people I was with had to have the wands waved at them, even though they had emptied their pockets.

Here at LAX the metal detector is a favorite place for lowlifes to lift your laptop, two people will watch for someone carrying a computor case, one will already have gone through the metal detector
and the one with the multiple piercings, chains and 10$ worth of coins
in his pocket will cut in front of you just after you have put your briefcase with your laptop, checkbook, carkeys ect. on the conveyor belt, causing a delay long enough for his partner (who by the way will be dressed a bit better so as not to look out of place with your briefcase)to grab your briefcase and head out of the airport with it!