h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The lights in the forum suddenly dim, leaving only a spotlight trained on the Xenomorph Giguschild. Giguschild suddenly throws himself into a hunched position with the frying pan grasped tightly in his claws...a loud, distant rumbling thumps throughout the arena. It gets louder, and suddenly the floor is shaking and knocking everyone sprawling except Giguschild, who stays perfectly stable. Suddenly stabbing beams of light shoot from the frying pan, which begins to shake and glow blindingly brightly. Slowly it raises itself to Giguschild's shoulder height.

Suddenly the room fills with light and Giguschild raises the utensil back past his head...he swings and a blurring arc extends from the lone figure and out into the forum...

*CLUNG CLUNG CLUNG CLUNG CLUNG CLANG-CLANG-CLUNG CLUNGCLONGCLUNG CLANG-CLUNGCLUNG clungclungclungclung... ... ... ... ... ...BOK*

Every single other person in the room recoils from the repeated blows on their faces. Their cheeks start to redden and they stagger and lurch. MoC pivots humorously on his heel and with a whistle and a comical sound effect, he falls flat on his face with little birds circling round his head.


Giguschild inspects withered and melted frying pan, which has been reduced to a small, charred lump. Suddenly, with a *TIKtiktikschlroeeeeeop-BLUNK*, it unfolds itself back to it's original shape.

"You know...this a pretty cool frying pan. I think I might use it elsewhere."

~while the very rude xenomorph is compleatly absorbed in his admiration of the magical fry pan, maria regains her composure and, in a microsecond decends on the unwary Giguschild. ~
*ping*
~she slaps him with the bozo button and he staggers, wheels and joins MoC on the floor with little birdies circling his head, only in Giguschild's case the birdies look kinda like bats.~
There! Now don't do that again you!

*rubs head*

*Grins absently and back flips back to his feet.*

Oops, sorry. As a consolation prize, you get a copy of the play Macbeth, to keep. It comes with a free set of five printer toner-cartridges. If you send of this form now *hands her a form* you will be entered in the lucky prize draw to win 5 feet of medium-grade copper coaxial cable.

mmmmmmedium-grade copper coaxial cable? neato.