h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ask just about anyone on the planet, even children barely old enough to speak, what the date of 25th December means, and you will get the same answer. I’d like to take a look at some of the facets of this date, with my tongue very slightly in my cheek.
All sorts of things are associated with 25th December, and they vary around the world. Many of them are very ancient indeed, and some are more recent. The Yule Log, Wassailing, overeating and overdrinking (old even in Roman times), the original Santa Claus (the Middle Ages), gifts, cards, decorations and the ‘tree’ (the Victorian era), Santa’s red costume and white beard (would you believe, from an advertisement for a famous soft drink with the same colours?) a long weekend, or maybe a whole week or more off work (late 20th century). Let’s just look at one of these in detail, good old Santa Claus.
The man is obviously immortal, because he’s been around quite a few centuries. He lives at the North Pole, yet somehow manages to find and keep reindeer there (who also must be immortal, unless his beasts reincarnate themselves every so often). During the year, he runs a massive ‘call centre’ and letter answering service with multilingual staff who never seem to get angry or make mistakes (some of our best loved utilities should be able to learn a lot from him!) but it must be kept hush-hush, because when did you ever meet one of the staff? Before the day itself, he manages to appear all over the world in different locations at the same time. During the hours of darkness (from 6 to 18 hours depending on location) after sunset on the 24th December, he visits countless millions of homes (taking a minute fraction of a second at each) obtaining access through the chimney (whether they have one or not!) yet he’s never sparked off a nuclear alert by appearing on the protective radar screens. He’s certainly not a socialist; have you ever noticed he brings rich kids loads of expensive presents and poor kids a few cheap ones? Come to think of it, he doesn’t bring really deserving kids, those in war or famine torn areas for example, or those that have never heard of him, anything at all! At least he never makes mistakes; every child he visits gets exactly the right presents, even if they include an enormous and ugly jumper hand knitted by an aunt. We’re told that he will not visit naughty children (doesn’t he know that all kids are naughty?) yet he still seems to do so. His sleigh must be some sort of Tardis, because it would not otherwise be big enough to hold presents even for one short street. Despite downing enough sherry to float the Titanic, he somehow manages to find his way home safely without ever being breathalysed. When it’s all over, he can’t relax, because after sunset on the 5th January, off he goes again, mainly to people in Russia and Greece, but to many others scattered across the globe, visiting those whose festivals are based on the Julian calendar, 12 days behind ours. Despite having these supernatural, even divine, powers, for some reason he needs an army of elves to help him prepare for the next year. Couldn’t he do all this himself? Surely he doesn’t need to rest for 11½ months.
Is believing in Santa Claus wrong or irrational then? Well, probably no more or less than believing in Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Dr Who or Harry Potter (and many more).
This particular day holds much other significance of course. It’s probably the one time of year with the highest incidence of overcharging, debt problems, domestic arguments, drunkenness, indigestion and industrial shutdown; only the essential services maintain a skeleton staff.
Is there nothing else of significance? Well, it is commonly held that this day is the anniversary of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. His existence is indisputable, and his life and teachings are respected by a large number of faiths, though only Christians accept him as the son of God. Don’t you think it a little odd that on this birthday, like no others, people greet everyone they meet amiably and bestows gifts on those they love, but few even think of the one whose birthday it’s supposed to be? How would you feel if it was yours?
But, why do we choose this particular day to celebrate his birth? Surely, it’s about as inappropriate as you can get. It wasn’t as if Jesus was even born at this time of year. Most scholars acknowledge that the event took place in the autumn of the year we now call 4 BC (many others think the autumn of 6 BC).
Do all the celebrations, some dating from far earlier than 4 BC, have anything at all to do with the birth of Jesus? Well, most people don’t think so because, to them, Jesus is irrelevant. There are many Christians in the world however, and they keep 25th December much the same as everybody else (though to be fair, they probably go far easier on the excesses than most) apart from a possible visit to church. It has always seemed odd to me that their homes, and even many of their churches, are decorated with all the same trappings found elsewhere, including images of the super hero Santa Claus. Even odder is the opposition of a significant proportion of them to (say) Harry Potter because of the supernatural elements it contains, yet so many of them are quite happy with dear old Santa.
Am I a killjoy? I certainly don’t intend to be. I recognise that this season brings many people a lot of happiness and is sometimes the only time of year that families get together. Good luck to them I say, and also to those who wish to celebrate it for religious reasons. My only intention is to make people think about what they are doing, because it would be a shame to involve yourself in something for no reason other than ‘everyone else does it’.
A final thought which demonstrates to me how most people seem to take all this for granted. Many years ago, I stopped keeping 25th December for all sorts of reasons. Whenever I am forced to admit it, people’s reaction is almost invariably the same and never fails to amaze me.
‘Oh, so you’re not Christian then …’

"Is believing in Santa Claus wrong or irrational then?"

No, it's fun .
I love Christmas - it's completely different from any other time of the year. I love Christmas decorations (santas included), Christmas lights, Christmas music, Christmas movies, Christmas concerts Christmas shopping, Christmas presents, and Christmas dinner. I'm one of those people who start getting excited in October (I've already been reading old Christmas magazines for about a month). I have Santas hung on the tree right next to the angels, and a nativity underneath. Frankly I don't care how Christians chose to celebrate their holiday (or not), I'm an athiest and I'm going to have fun with it .

For Christians, I would think Easter would be the bigger holiday because, as a friend of mine puts it "Anyone can be born, but it takes someone pretty special to rise from the dead." I show up for Easter dinner because it's expected of me, and after dinner we play cards until someone has to leave so they can go to work the next morning. Easter isn't nearly as much fun.

I think Santa serves a purpose at Christmas, for kids and adults. He inspires a sense of wonder, and helps us to remember what it was to be a kid on Christmas morning - finding all the presents that weren't there the night before and the empty plate of cookie crumbs next to the glass with a drop of milk left in it. (Despite my father's repeated attempts to convince us that Santa would *really* rather have peanuts and beer ). Christmas Eve services just don't hold the same nostalgia value for me.

I commend you for breaking out of the cycle, it's difficult to do - especially if you're Christian. It is a special time of year, but one that also highlights stress and depression, and some people are better off without it.

Santa does exist, as long as they are always Open Hearts.

Santa does exist, as long as there are always Open Hearts.