h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good one, Pierce.

Ah, the temptation. I could buy a box of fortune cookies, and open one every weekday. I could share it with the group, and we could each interpret the cookie and act accordingly. Perhaps if we followed enough of them, I will indeed end up in a kingdom in Europe.

Okay, maybe not. But still, a fictional version of my 'kingdom' could be fun. And a party sounds like fun too. However, I'm hesitant to start a party as there is already a rather nice one going on at http://www.h2g2.com/A481844

One cookie-fortune I actually kept in my wallet for years read "You should always have old dreams and young hopes"

HEARETH, Oh Pierce the Pirate, Thou speaketh foul to name me "german"! I warn thou, or I will git the marinors on thy shipe to start off a mutiny!

*E making phonecall to captain Drake. Asks about the costs if he would battle Pirate Pierces ship*

Funny, I am quite german, but still feel hurt, if I am not recognized being british.. Is there a virtual shrink at h2g2 yet? I will have to do something about that...

Maybe we could get some group therapy? I have the same problem, you know: I was born in Germany, grew up in Germany and have german relatives (east as well as west, which adds to the confusion, don't you think?) but I was danish from my birth, moved to Denmark (and still live there) and have a lot of danish relatives (as well as english, american, canadian etc.)

These days I would like to see myself as a cosmopolitan - and still I feel hurt when someone calls me "german" or "half-german"...

It's all in the upbringing, you know.

A shrink once told me: "All we have learned from 100 years of psychoanalysis is: You should choose your parents with the greatest care!"

We had a great deal of conversation about these kind of nationality and language-problem at the meeting here in Southgerany, this weekend. Realy should start a therapy thread. Biggish problem, and a lot of people concerned.

But well... Which country in Europe is still on offer for Fragilis? Monaco?

We could stage a revolution...get her Belgium or something...

Does it really HAVE to be a european monarchy? Why don't we give her Florida?

What makes you think I want Florida?

Oh, well, I got the impression over the last few weeks that EVERYBODY wants Florida

Nah. Just the politicians.

Besides, I have another problem. My mother lives in Florida. I would have to decide whether I "rule" her or whether she is to be Florida's Queen Mother. Neither sounds like a very wise proposition to me.

You never would know quite who would do the ruling, with queen mum about, wouldn´t you? I´ve got a friend, who realy has problems just denying those small unneccesary favors his mum could solve through the post.

We could just form a new little country, somwhere between the boarder of two states. There is always a little no-womans-land between the places. The strip of country between the two former germany´s could still offer a few squaremiles of country, too!

Thank god for phones who tell you in advance who is calling you. Saves a lot of time and trouble methinks

I must admit though that my mom is quite good at solving the troubles I would not have if I did not have her

I once received a fortune cookie after a lovely meal that said
"Do not walk alone in dark places."
Talk about putting a damper on an evening.

Gosh. That's easily as eerie as mine, and much more forboding.

It reminds me of a science fiction story I once read. This guy goes to his favorite Chinese restaurant and gets a fortune cookie that says, "You are going to die." The guy things it odd, but finishes his meal and leaves in relative peace. Sure enough, some guy outside accuses him of fooling around with his wife and shoots him.

The guy stumbles back into the Chinese restaurant, but quickly forgets what he was worried about. The place looks even better, and he's hungry again. At the end of his second meal, the fortune cookie reads, "You are dead."

Now the guy's a little freaked out. He starts to wander the streets. But nobody is around but him. And every time he tries to enter an establishment or home, there is a Chinese restaurant on the inside. Finally, after several hours, he gives in and eats at a slightly different Chinese restaurant. The fortune cookie now reads, "You are in hell."

Hmm. This probably didn't make you feel much better. Still, it's just a story. And your fortune cookie is just some poor lonely paper-pushers idea of a good time. Don't take it too seriously, okay?

Hey, Fragilis, you say she shouldn´t take these things too seriosly? YOU? We´ve started planing whole stratigically good places for you to take over your european kingdom, and now you aren´t taking your fortune cookie SIRIOUSLY?
*E pulls out his sword once more - menacing infront of Fragilis nose.*

I saw that! I think it was Eliot Gould as a pugnacious food reviewer.
I took the fortune as good advice for the evening and took a cab home.... !
I hope the kingdom thing works out

*looking wide-eyed at Englander's saber rattling*

Okay, okay! I give in!

So how about this, then. I'll take Florida's panhandle. You know, where Florida intersects with Georgia and Alabama. You can't stop food from growing there, so we should be able to get by even if I turn out to be an utterly incompetent ruler.

We can call it the Kingdom of Floribama (KoF). It can be a bastion of liberal non-religious thinking in the midst of the conservative Southern US. And we'll wrap it in a royal mantle so nobody dares argue about it. What say?

The thing is europe. I haven´t had a cookie saying something about Deforida, sorry, Florida. Perhaps we should have a look if there is a chinese restaurant at h2g2, where we could get a new fortune cookie!

I´ll go and ask at the Crossed Purposes, if they haven´t got any available. I´ll tell you when I know!

Golly, what aweful germanisms in that posting.