h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just a note regarding the differing virtues of the tie's antecedent, the stock, and the tie itself, from one costumier's point of view. Regardless of fashion,there is a very clear difference in behaviour between the two: we have at least as many stocks as ties in our warehouse, yet the stocks are never to be found, they go out and do not return. They insinuate themselves behind cabinets into dusty corners; they pretend to be pairs of stockings so that you look right past them; and those you do lay your hands on are too short or have the moth in them. Ties on the other hand, no matter how few people are wearing them nowadays, refuse to go away. They leap out of drawers in front of you, wrapping themselves round your legs; they crawl up the side of clothes rails and jump into costume bags where you wanted a stock; and when you come to tidy up a gents' clothing room, there is never room for all the ties you find to go in the tie drawers.
I do not know why this should be. Perhaps the ties have heard about their predicted demise and are doing their best to counter it in their own way. The day I find one tying itself about my neck, I shall know the truth.