h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That is what everyone wishes, but unfortunately not everyone wants the same thing. So you can see why we don't always get our own way, yeah?

What everyone has been advising you seems pretty coherent. You & your son have rights.

You have the right to speak out & your son has the right to take part in things - as long as the people who would be responsible for him are: a) prepared to be responsible, b) trained or find someone who is, c) covered by the usual "red tape" guidelines that everyone has to live by these days - unfortunately, from what I can gather, teachers are smothered with them (not their fault).

However, a teacher's attitude is a completely different area - as long as you haven't been aggressive towards him/her from the start - their attitude to everyone should be the same. If they are a real nasty type then I imagine there would be one h...uva load of complaints

I should hope the headmistress will call you for an interview, probably after she has spoken to the teacher concerned - just wait & see what she suggests & above all, remain CALM and FIRM - the head will be able to understand alot more of what is going on then.

I won't go into probs I had with regard to my daughter (long story - all gone now - she had/still has a stutter, just as I had/have, therefore I could see what needed fighting for!), but suffice to say I stayed calm & in full control of what I wanted to say & how.

Ain't life frustrating? You feel like you are banging your head against a wall, but it DOESN'T stop hurting when you stop

Please let me know here what happens. I hope your son hasn't caught on to the trouble - it can't help can it?

All the luck possible.


with

I was going to write a long post back to you, but I've been distracted by looking up dog itches online, so I'll keep it short as it's my bedtime now.

Thanks for all the advice, it's helped. I'll see what happens, and if the head contacts me at all. I'm more unhappy with the behaviour of this teacher than with the concern about J - I wouldn't have even discussed my child with her, if I'd known how unkind she was going to be!

I'm here to help IF I can - just to talk to.

Have a really good

Maybe the sun will shine tomorrow, eh?



PS read about your dog - it certainly sounds weird with both, but what I picked up on with regard to mine are the spores from toadstools. Explain another time.

I'm going to try changing his food as the first thing. Now that he's nearly 12 he probably should be on a pensioners dinner anyway.

As it's seasonal I don't think it's the food, but, maybe he's become a wee bit sensitive to the food, and that lowers his defences against other things. I can but try!

I've taken his big collar off, and he hasn't rushed straight off to mutilate his face, so the medicine is working. I just hope it won't come back once he's off the medicine again.

Your son or your dog ?
Only joking!

Actually the vet did mention one thing about giving her cod liver oil as a last resort. So recently we've starting giving her pilchards (out of a tin) & tuna dog food: she doesn't appear quite so sensitive when you touch her on her back now & we think the hair might be growing back a little more. H'ever it hasn't stopped new "bites" - although we have found some rather large gnats recently. Time will tell!

With Holly it isn't seasonal, but stemmed from last year - we were at my husband's family's bungalow at the coast (Norfolk)- R does all the mowing & upkeep of the place

Actually, with regard to your son - does a change in his diet affect his ADHD?

Give them both a from me & one for you too, of course

I was told to give Buster evening primrose oil tablets the last time, so this time I'm giving him those, and omega 3 which supposedly helps as well. mixing it all up with peanut butter and smearing it on a dog treat. Looks disgusting! Actually it looks like something my sister-in-law cleared up when she found it in her baby's nappy the other day.

J's behaviour definitely changes when he eats certain things (so we tend to avoid those, or let him have certain of them when he's been reasonably in control for a while), but I've never tried a proper 'ADHD' diet. As he eats at his dad's so much I wouldn't be able to do it. His dad and his familywouldn't even leave him totally off milk when he was having his dairy problems. Worse than useless! It's one of the reasons I'm hoping to change him to proper child care.

That reminded me the vet said the same about EPO (I take it all the time + cod liver oil seems to make me less moody). Maybe after a month or two of fish type diet, we'll try her with EPO too. Do you use the normal human EPO & omega? What sort of dosage?

The other thing I haven't mentioned about Holly is that she is constantly rubbing her bottom on the floor (similar to Buster & his nose possibly). She did have a blocked anal gland last October, but the vet cleared that, & she's been wormed. So we wonder if it is connected to the skin condition too? I caught her today rubbing on the concrete outside , normal just on the carpet!

If J's father is not supportive of even his diet needs, surely that would give you a good reason, on medical grounds, of cutting out him staying there completely? But I don't know what you & J are really wanting as regard contact with his dad.

Can he not see that if the diet changes are beneficial to J, that in the long run it will give J a chance to lead a normal life? Some men are .......s

You say "proper child care", is that while you are working & J is out of school? Does his dad look after him at present during that time?

I suppose you could try the proper ADHD diet & get a doctor to write a letter "for all concerned", i.e. school, father, etc., that it is really important to keep to it?

Thinking aloud here - probably rambling

Back to moving everything into our lounge, including food, etc - we're going to be like this for at least a month!! Kitchen isn't coming till 24th Feb - ha!

Hi Mina

Not well? Here's a hot with some melted in it (they don't do hot chocolate here ) & some nice soft fluffy blankets - now sit yourself down in front of the TV all comfy like.

If you get the chance that is, maybe later?

Hope it's a 24hour thing.

Yes, I've been ill. That's why I hadn't answered your message - just didn't have the strength for something I had to think about properly. Thank you for the choc! I still feel rough, but not as bad as yesterday. J must still be feeling it, as he's quietly (quietly!) playing lego.

I give Buster the normal stuff that I have lying about the place for J. He's on super strength dose now, so the 'normal' dose stuff I've been giving to the dog. I've just given him one capsule twice a day, and it has 180 mg of EPA in it. I don't see that it can hurt!

I want J to have lots of contact with his dad, lots and lots so they can be a proper family, but I just don't want his dad feeding him on a regular basis. We had a flaming row this morning as he wouldn't come to see J (also him not going to J's school meeting came into that one). Turns out he's 'virtually living' with his girlfriend and is working in a different store to his normal one, so that puts him 45 minutes away, rather than around 10. Then he has the cheek to ask me why he should tell me things like that. His parents pick J up from school, and then he apparently gets there around 4.15, gives J some food then goes to bed until it's time to get up to bring J home to me. So really he's not seeing his dad anyway!

So I've been ringing round othe options to have J for the evenings, although most of them finish at 6, and I can't get home quite that quickly. If it's raining, I'm often out until around quarter past cos the motorway is slower. Have rang a few childminders, but they are either out so can't contact them, or don't collect from that school.

I'm not sure if they would feed the children at an afterschool club or a childminders with a dinner. It's all the sodding school's fault for stopping doing dinners at dinnertime. They said it was money, but when they sent out their end of year accounts, they had loads of money left. Mind you, rumour had it that the dinners were full of additives anyway.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't gone back to work full time.

You'll have seen my other messages by now - ha!

I take one 1000mg of EPO - she is a medium size dog, so I think that may be overdoing it! Same with the Cod Liver Oil! We've got to go back to the vet, so I'll ask him what dosage - safest!!

Oh, how I remember a certain row! It was while I was at work, but they let me use the back room. He'd let her down again, by not turning up, so I screamed that he wasn't to see her again. I had no right to say that & he knew he had rights to see her, but that's when he stopped completely. I think he had been waiting for me to explode like that & could use it as an excuse. In our case, we were better off in the long run. However, I know it has made a mark on her. Luckily his mother & sister, etc., made up for his absence & since she now has her own home & man, I think she realises what a spineless person he is.

Anyway, enough of my past!!!

I do think it's good that contact isn't broken, but I feel it is important that you are the one that makes the major decisions. You live with J all the time - you know his real needs, etc.

I felt awful about going back to work full time, BUT it gave us our own home & pride - we managed & NOW manage to laugh at how penniless we nearly were!! By going to work I made sure she didn't miss out on any school hols, trips, etc. She had proper uniform & a haircut

Persevere with phone calls to child minders, etc. It'll just take the one phone call to solve it - fingers xed.

Is there any way that you could alter your time at work? eg: start earlier & finish earlier? Or would that cause problems at the start end with J?

Childminders used to give them some tea, but when I'd collected her from there (usually any time from 6.30 to 8.30pm - I commuted into London every day & had to catch a coach from the railstation - don't remind me - that coach used to come up the M1 from London & if there was an accident I would be waiting till late at the station for it. I couldn't use it for getting in & out of London as the times were all wrong for my working times, etc) .... and got home, we used to have a main meal & then bed!!!

Bring back the old school dinners: meat pudding, spotted dick with custard, choc sponge with sauce & ... spamburgers