h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is Andrew's last week at school, he's been there since he was 4. He starts college in Sept. He was a little difficult yesterday, refused to go along to Mum's local to meet up with Allan, Jenny & baby Harrison, for Sunday lunch (he normally is quite eager to see Allan, nagging me when he's next visiting...) so I had to leave him (I was collecting Mum). We had just ordered when Laura and Liam turned up, so it was quite a family gathering. We toasted absent friends and loved ones () it being Father's Day

Anyway, Allan and and Jenny had spent their last couple of visits moaning about the cost of nursery care for Harrison since she returned to workapparently it costs the same as her wages The upshot is they are thinking of moving to Cleethorpes because Sheffield isn't the kind of place they want to raise Harrison, and they want him to go to school here. Considering how much Laura moaned about what she was paying the out-of-school club for Liam's care before and after school, I don't see that they'll be any better offunless of course they're expecting me to volunteer?

Hmmm, prepare for "Mum (said with falling and then rising again inflection), would it be alright if..."

If wages=childcare costs, doesn't it make as much sense to stay home? Unless she's like me and does better working for money (I'd planned on staying home forever, but I couldn't hack being a stay-at-home mom...)

I paid all my wages for childcare, but then I only worked part time and didn't earn much. On the long run, it pays to return to work, though, you pay for the pension scheme (at least here), you have paid holidays and 'sick' days, and your children won't need to be in child care forever, but it's too long to stay out of work.

If staying at home costs the same as working, then you should work, because in four years' time, the children will be in school and won't need the same childcare, and you'll still have a job. If you've been at home for four years, you'll find it hard to get back into working.

I've been at home for 31 years, looking after children.

Going back to work and leaving the kids with Mum, while not paying her, is the best deal in the world.

I think I would rather jump off the than look after Harrison full time. However, that thought makes me feel bad, because I love him, I just don't want to bring him up like I mostly have Liam since Laura returned to work when he was 6 months old.

You are not obliged to look after your grandchildren.

I'm with Gnomon. Love hasn't got anything to do with it. Best make it clear straight away that it is *me* time now for you, after all these years of child caring. I mean, surely they knew what they were in for before deciding to have a child?

There is a reason why child rearing is for the younger women... Babies soon learn to

The trouble is trying to say no, when you're a nice person... If I know GB, when that "mum...?" voice is used (ANY parent knows exactly what you mean, H5ringer!!), she'll say "ok.. just this once..." - and after that it will be even harder to say no...

That's how it began with Liam, 12 years ago... between them and my Mum, I feel like a piece of spaghetti sometimes!

What, soft, with a little bite, and a bit twisted?

Or tasty with some sauce?

Sometimes a big bite

Good points, about the harder-to-find-work bit, and benefits I'll just shut up, now.

Gb, it was my first thought when I read your initial post. Perhaps they were sounding out your reaction?

<> Don't feel bad, because then you will feel guilty, and when they ask you, and says they will, you will find it harder to say no. It sounds to me as if you have done more than your fair share of childcare and with Andrew getting growing up so much you deserve some time to yourself. Spaghetti only stretched so far before it breaks

Take care,

Websailor

<> See A44342651

Gala xyB abe

<> should be stretches

Interesting article h5ringer and it seems GB is very ductile, but there are limits

Websailor