h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Living in a town with Glasgow next door, and you have nothing to do? Give some thought to the few unfortunate beggars who ended up in Aldford, Cheshire. There's a pub, which is no good if you aren't 18, or if your friends aren't. There's the youth club, which is reasonable at best on the Friday nights. There's grass, haybales and cows. Lots of cows. Lots of very expensive, well-bred cows.
There's also a snotty kids primary school (private, based on money not intelligence). A shop. A rather nice church (not much use if not christian) and one of the countries richest men living next door (I drive -through- his garden on the way to school. He has deer in it.)

At least we have a phone connection, and can therefore access the many terabytes of information, and millions of people on the web. As well as the 30,000 odd (at the last count) people on h2g2, so you can rack their brains for stuff to do.

So welcome to h2g2, an electronic oasis of humanity in a dull and insane world. Not that insane's bad, of course...
Have a look around, I hope you enjoy what you see. The best ways I've found to get around h2g2 are...

1) Go to the main page (www.h2g2.com) when you log on. It usually changes at around 11 o'clock weekdays, and at about 3 on a friday for a weekend edition. Check out the newly added articles.
2) Use the search engine at the top of every page (including this one)
3) Use the forums a lot. I find they're the best part of h2g2.
4) Go to the main page and search the thematic index (the right hand block) for stuff you're interested.

Hope to see you around.. reply to this message and I'll get right back.

Dave McKee,
aka The Cow

PS: Click on my name at the start of this message to go to my homepage. Oh, and this has all been written right now. It's not some stupid automated script.

yeah right is an auto message it has to be that last bit oh well like i would know anyways i have nothing to do cause i live next to glasgow and paisley so i am kind of tired off doing everything there is here 16 years off it trust me you get a bit bored or at least i do .but i would move for the world ( cause it's too big to put in my pocket ) but maybe for a 1 000 000 pounds i would .ok there you go i answered lets see if you write back mm and write that renfrew thing was my starter how do i write another one ???? i am just a bit new and can't be bothered reading everything oh well got to go bt will cut me off at 12:00 that had to be auto was it ???

To write something wlse, you click 'edit page' on the left margin toward the top of your homepage, and do whatever you want in the text block that comes up.

SilverSolstice

PS This bit isn't automated, either

hi silversolstice ta much

Hello Neighbor! Welcome!! Care for a Brownie?

I know you're busy with the moving in and all, but I hope you can find the time to stop in and say hello!

Speaking of drinking and pubs, the "Cheshire Grin" is virtually the coolest pub around... good for a Pint, a Poem, a Band, and a Brawl!

http://www.h2g2.com/A286535

come on over and meet the gang... we're on Second Orders now, and I'm serving!!
See you there!


Saint Zax*
Patron Saint of the
True Brownie and Drunken Indulgence

Hello there... your neighbourly ACE-y person here. (Ace == Assistant Community Editor). We wander around saying Hi and having funky little banner things on our h2g2pages. ... anyway, no-one 'official' as it were has come and said hi, so I thought I might.... Hi! .... (And while I'm at it, those brownies look inviting.. *takes one*). Anyway. Hope you're having fun... and the weather isn't much better in my homeland. (Ireland, in case you were wondering)...

Some useful links are...

A wiccan forum... (http://www.h2g2.com/A196300)
The Forum and Firkin (http://www.h2g2.com/A187508)
Blackadder... (http://www.h2g2.com/A272567)
The famous last words page (http://www.h2g2.com/A290585)

Remember... keep your towel handy at all times.

- Njan, ACE. Psychoanalyst. Stepladders repaired.

Zax, you're damn well everywhere I go! (I'm not complaining though *g*).
Gavi'e: Hiya! Ok, weirdness. I'm also 16 (although female), Scottish and, since my grandparents all lived near there, have spent a large part of my life round where you live . What Highers are you doing? Don't you just love the stress? Ok, now I'm babbling so I'm gonna go but I'll be back later- REPLY!
Tweetie, Saint of Impossible Escapes.

I just thought I'd say "hi" too..
So, what are your hobbies?

hi ya ,
you really want to know what highers i was doing mmmm ok i started with 5 and now i have two and a half i had english , maths ,computing, physic ,art but i drop physic cause well to be honest i am shit at it!!! and have no idea how i did so well in the standard grade ( well yeah i do i copyed from my wee pal adam all year but noooooo he was in the other higher class ) then came maths now this one is diff i got chucked out off maths cause i was never at school for it even thought i am really preety good at it but now they have me in the inter 2 so i turned up for the pre lim just for the fun off it and only got 92% i was soooo annoyed i should never have drop any marks but after a lot of though i tracked down my failings to physic because it was them that told me to do the line off best fit THE WRONG WAY . oh well as for english i got put in to the two year higher after failer to hand in my r p r which i had finshed on time but i was ill for like a month and didn't hand in ( it's on Mort by the way a discworld novel if you didn't know i am a big terry P fan ) anyways as if my life hasn't been messed up already by all this i am left with art i love this sub but i am really not that good at it anymore as even though i can draw just about anything i like i can't paint to save myself so i should come out with a B if i am lucky and knowing me i am not . oh yeah computing now this i can do an A+ even if i did fail the pre L i should still pass just wait and see ( does it show that i am just hoping for the best )
mm so anyways the ? was stress what stress my problem is i am not stressed at all there are what about 4 weeks left ( i don't even know ) before exam and i haven't opened a single book oh well if you have read this far you will by now know what a losser i am but hey i can live with it .

You seem as dedicated as I am to my course.
Me, I've never really done any work, and how I got into Uni I will never know. Still, getting here is fun. Staying here will be a challenge....
So, what hobbies do you do instead of work?
As for TerryP - I've only read his non-discworld books so far such as "Good Omens", "Strata", "Dark Side Of The Sun" and "The Carpet People". I'll be reading the Truckers trilogy soon!

terry p mmm the thing is i have only read his discworld novels , no wait i think he wrote jonny and the dead which i read when i was like five mmm my hobbies mmm computers and the net have to be up there now i guess mm football watching not playing i did play and i was ok but now i am a bit older the only time there is to do it is a saturday morning and nobody is getting me out off my bed .mm a part from that clubing drinking partys etc in fact take drinking off i am giving up
/ \ /--/ ohhhh my headdddd
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tv i watch just about everything from buffy tooo the new it just makes me feel better when the tv is on .

mm what else computer games well not really i only play two cham man 3 99/00 and torment but i play them a lot mmmm
ok the final and best hobbie is girls
not really a hobbie more like a way off life

anyways how about u ? any other ?'s

I find in life there are far too many "??????????"s, like "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and "when are you going to visit your grandmother?" and "won't you give your mummy a kiss?" (I'm too old to respond or hear the word "mummy" - it's undignified) to inflict too many on a helpless friend like you.
I tend not to watch any TV any more, though. I don't really know why - I guess I prefer the internet. At least with something like H2G2 there is actual interaction - you can make a difference to what you see on the screen.
Computerwise, I've got an old spectrum and a Mega PC 386SX, so I'm not that up-to-date, but I'm happy.

i have my computer and tv in my room so i do them both at the same time

I've never had a TV of my own, and always had to share. And then last year when at Uni I went for a whole year without television. This year there is cable in the house, but I am not that fussed. Besides, everyone else seems to hog it.

oh well i worked and earned the money to get my own tv in my room cause well i need my tv i would die if i didn't have tv for a year well not really i would moat likely study and pass everything but i am never going to give up my tv

Honestly, it wasn't automated. If it was automated, I would have used it on h2g2 elsewhere, wouldn't I. (Do any of the other ACEs use automated stuff? I think they do.) That's why I don't put any links to the Aces page and stuff - the only one I can remember is my homepage.

A mega PC... great. When you get bored of Doom, change over to Sonic!

Hmmm, ok lots of stuff to respond to:
1. Highers= English, French, Maths, Modern Studies and Human Biology. I'm not telling what I got in my prelims cos I'll look like a swot.
2. I'm stressed because I'm hugely dedicated to school (how sad)
3. Again with the parallels- I'm a huge TP fan, I've read almost all of the Discworld books If you want a good non-DW one try Good Omens- it's fantastic!
4. Total TV (and film) lover but my favourite's Buffy (having taken over from Friends). Plus I admit to being a bit of a Trekkie (though I think that's no longer an acceptable term...)
5. I'm a Tomb Raider girl myself but I love the football ones (and I'm pretty damn good) as well as a bloody mean shot with a light gun!
6. My room is TV, video, laptop and DVD enabled, although the laptop is soon to be a PC instead and I'll be getting Internet access in there too with any luck...
I think that's the lot. See ya later- byeeee

mm a swot don't worry about i know loads off them like wee neil he is a kind off straight A's kind off guy there all like that here a part fae me but i could be i guess but i have better things to do like rune my life by wasting time online instead but i canny even be bothered puting any really effort into it which is why my home page is soo bad oh well Tweetie are you rich ? or something ? i have read just about all the discworld novels too i love thinking about stuff like that ok anyone got any good ?'s

Hah, not rich, on BT! Free at weekends and evenings from 6 to 12. Lots of lovely guilt-free surfing

mm na i was talking about the dvd and laptop and getting a pc i am on bt as well but moving to ntl for all day free and a new line all for only 9:99 a month so it better