h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For those who don't like jelly - or have had vodka jelly before, got so drunk they can't face it again.

Take one fairly large watermelon.
Pierce approx 1cm hole through skin.
Insert a funnel.
Pour in some vodka.
Over the next day or so, pour in the rest of a bottle of vodka.
Put it in the pridge for at least a day before serving.
Chop melon up & serve to your friends.
Watch them get drunk.
(BTW, please don't serve it to kids, drivers, anyone who doesn't drink. It's not big & it's not clever)

Another more effective method is to inject the vodka (or tequila) into different locations on the watermelon by means of a hypodermic needle similar to the ones used for preparing roasts etc (the larger the better). While this may take slightly longer, it ensures that the alcohol is distributed more evenly through the watermelon.

It is best to only do it on one side, because as the pressure builds up inside the watermelon, some alcohol may leak out of any holes at the bottom.

St John the Blasphemist