h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Closeup on YK; he is in a hovercar]

[YK] Okay. YK? Check. YC?

[Pull back to show YC; YK is wearing a black H2G2 T-shirt, blue jeans, six Poké Balls, a red jacket, his lightsaber, and a backpack. YC is wearing the same, only minus the Poké Balls, he has a different lightsaber, and a blue jacket.]

[YC] Check.

[YK] YQ?

[Pull back letting YQ into the picture; he is dressed identically to YC only the jacket is yellow]

[YQ] Check.

[YK] Mackenzie?

[Pull back some more, revealling Mackenzie behind them. She is wearing a green version of that thing Deanna Troi was wearing for most of Star Trek: TNG]

[Mackenzie] Check.

[YK] Link?

[Pull back again; Link is next to Mackenzie, wearing his usual Kokiri tunic, his shield, a Vibroblade designed like a sword, belt and baldric, etc. and also a pair of green shorts the same shade as his tunic]

[Link] Check.

[YK] Your Royal Highness Princess Zelda?

[Zelda is next to Mackenzie, wearing that hat thing she usually wears, and also a Rymplon jumpsuit. For those of you who haven't read "Mostly Harmless," Rymplon is a kind of fabric that looks best when the wearer is hot and sweaty.]

[Zelda] Check.

[YK] Nerfal?

[Nerfal is there, too]

[Nerfal] Check.

[YK] Mew?

*Fafnir flies ahead, and comes back with a yellow sticky note. It says "If you are reading this message, then I probably didn't make it back.
- Twinkle"
He flies forward again, indicating there is something more up ahead.*

Mew!

[YK] "Check" will do, Mew. Flamingeaux?

[A five-foot-tall pink flamingo wearing a top hat and a vest pops out of the trunk and gives YK a thumbs-up sign]

[YK] Good. We're all here. [reads note] Uh-oh.

}What?{ [flies over and reads over YK's shoulder] }Uh-oh.{

*When they get to Twinkle's house, they find the front door open. Just inside, the package from YK is sitting there, still unopened but humming ominously.*
(?)

[YK] This does NOT look good.

[Wipe to the interior of the house. Six faces look in through the door. The owner of the pink face is obvously excited. The owner of the young Kokiri face is definitely cautious. The owner of the teenage, female face is looking nervous. The owner of the Whiphid face is ... er, powerful. The owner of the princess's face is somewhat scared. The three owners of the remaining face are looking about in alarm.]

[YK] Humming noise. [points to the package] B flat.

[Link, Mackenzie, and Nerfal each go into different rooms. Nerfal comes back a moment later]

[Nerfal] Cookie jar is empty. [burp]

*Fafnir is heard from the front door, complaining loudly.*
>(Fafnir)<: -Dragowr Gwaru!?-
*When they return to investigate, they find him wedged in the front door, too big to get through.*

*Sylvia finally figures out where everybody else went, and soon arrives at his house.*

*notices Fafnir wedged in the front door.*

Okay... looks like I can't get in that way...

*starts looking for another way in*

[Mew tries to pull Fafnir in telekinetically]

[gives up]

}Hey ... I think I sense a mind somewhere here... but I can't sense any thoughts or emotion...{

[Looking for pizza, Billian inadvertantely waljks in and finds everyone standing around looking tense.]
Do you guys have any pizza?

[YK, who was putting Fafnir in his (her?) Poké Ball, jumps in alarm]

[YK] Billian! How'd YOU get here!?

[Mackenzie] [from other room] Hey, guys, look at this!

[YK and the others rush into the bedroom Mackenzie is in]

[Mackenzie] [holds out a paper] Look!

[YK] Hah! B flat humming, cookies eaten, Billian brought here by a pizza anomaly, a mind without thoughts, and now this! That has "Elizabeth" written all over it!

[YC] You're right, it does. [takes the paper, revealling that filling up all available space, "Elizabeth" has been written on it]

[YQ] Isn't Elizabeth Mackenzie's archetipe?

[YK] Yep.

[Ominous music]

[The music falls flat]

}Who?{

[YK bows to Mew]

[YK] In case Mewtwo didn't tell you, Mackenzie is completely artificial, from nose to toes. She was built as an improvement on Elizabeth, who went insane and wants to kill us both.

[Link] Wonderful girl.

[YK] Indeed. We got her in carbonite, packaged it, and sent the package to Twinkle, and now, it seems, [looks around] she's got out.

*His pokéball. Anyway, Fafnir's pokéball stars wobbling, and then then a flash of shimmering white light as he comes out of his pokéball and appears in the living room again. He picks up the satchel containing Twinkle's other pokéballs, and then begins explaining to Mew in pokémon language, which is somewhat difficult because they speak different dialects, about how Elizabeth escaped and stole something that he wasn't sure what it was, but seemed really important to Twinkle, because he went after her but forgot about the teleport-deflection field around some planet or another and so got lost.*

stars->starts.

[Mackenzie] What I want to know is how she got out. She was supposed to simulate a human...

[YK] Well, what /I/ want to know is how you made that weird green glow when we went to Hangar Infinity, and then displayed that innate power of pyrotechnics.

[Mackenzie] Well, I just ... did it.

[YK] Exactly, and I estimate you have enough abilities to break out of carbon freezing like that. And so, I assume, must Lizzie.

The question is, where is she now?
Where would you go if you were a female clone of yourself, YK?

[Mew, curious, goes over to the box that is humming in B-flat]