h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Lime Tree Café
The Story Of How My Weir Animal and how Tav helped
Tavaron da Quirm
gets a basket
“Good, let's go to Eredh's bush.”
“Hi, Bob.”
climbs down the ladder out of the cafe and walks to the bush
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“yep I can do that but I am not too good with the custard”
lj1980s - well rustle my bustle
“s'ok LBP we'll get instant - no-one will mind!!”
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“ooh yes that nice ambrosia stuff in the box”
Bob Stafford
“Here Tav” handing over full basket of hairy fruit.
lj1980s - well rustle my bustle
Shivers, ergh don't say that Bob!!
Tavaron da Quirm
“or we let the imps make it”
starts picking berries
Bob Stafford
“Tav” while we are picking berry’s "how do you get to be a weir animal and how do you choose it"
Tavaron da Quirm
“Well, Mala sat on a frog and was bitten, so she is now a werefrog and I turned into a chicken in some other thread. I can turn into a chicken voluntarily, so I'm more something like an animagus I think.”
Bob Stafford
“So do I get bitten by something or is there a spell “
EvilClaw: The cat crows at midnight
“And I'm just a catmanpersonthing as evidenced by this pie chart. Its blueberry.”
lj1980s - well rustle my bustle
“blueberries? Where did they come from - thought this was a gooseberry bush” (mutter, mutter)
Tavaron da Quirm
“You get bitten by something or maybe you can drink a potion or something. And some people just *are* cats or something.”
Bob Stafford
“I will take suggestions (animals and methods) careful Lbp”
Tavaron da Quirm
“now you see what this little man done to the bush”
Bob Stafford
“Don’t pick the little mans plums”
Tavaron da Quirm
“Hm... maybe we should get our berries from somewhere else.”
lj1980s - well rustle my bustle
“I'm thinking so - my appetite is palling by the second “
Tavaron da Quirm
“Ok, then let's go into the wood. Maybe we'll meet some interesting creatures. Let's just not stay till it gets dark... where do you want to sleep by the way?”
Bob Stafford
“Lets go back and get the imps to sort out what we have gathered. I fancy some sort of drink. What’s that building down there in the valley Tav looks like a tower with some sort of big pile of sticks on the top”
Bob Stafford
*wanders down after tav and lj*
Tavaron da Quirm
*looks to where Bob points*
“Ah, there's a castle in the wood. I think it's one of their towers. But who knows?
lj1980s - well rustle my bustle
“Hmm, looks vaguely gothic from here - what do you think Bob? Here I have a hip-flask with a stiff drink , to save us getting thirsty
Bob Stafford
“Its the pile of sticks I don’t get looks like a big nest or beacon“. Hands back flask "what was that is was nice leaves the tongue tingling"
lj1980s - well rustle my bustle
“gut-rot - brewed it myself in my southern guise on the ranch “
Tavaron da Quirm
“Hm... maybe we have a nest of a griffin there?”
Bob Stafford
“safe to look do you think tav ER what do griffins eat”
Tavaron da Quirm
“Um... well, I hope *we* are not on the menu. “
Bob Stafford
“Lets go on then…”
lj1980s - well rustle my bustle
“after you then Bob - am not fond of being griffin stew meself “
Tavaron da Quirm
“Allright, let's go.”
*walks into the wood*
Bob Stafford
“Ok how do we get into the tower ah hers a door Tav who’s castle is this…”
Tav
“Um... no idea, but they shot at us last time we were here.”
*looks around*
“But this isn't that castle, I think. Looks more like a ruin.”
lj1980s - well rustle my bustle
“No, I'm too scared, goanna run back and hide under my duvet!! Night All “
Tavaron da Quirm
“good night, sleep well”
Bob Stafford
“Night please ask the imps to save us some tea on the way back “
“Lets go in the doors part open, and”
*door falls in as it as it is rotten and falls away from the frame at the slightest touch*
“well its all open now come on..”
Tavaron da Quirm
*Walks in behind Bob*
Bob Stafford
“Stone spiral stair walks up slowly Tav have you got a torch its getting darer as we go up this stair”
Tavaron da Quirm
*pulls a torch out of her bag and lights it*
“There we go.”
Bob Stafford
“Look there is a light up there day light I thing what do you think it is and whets that noise...…”
Tavaron da Quirm
“maybe the griffin just comes home or so?”
Bob Stafford
“So?”
Tavaron da Quirm
“Let's go on and hope we aren't eaten.”
Bob Stafford
“Ok up we go then ........ Tav whets that?”
Tavaron da Quirm
*looks*
“A suitcase?”
Bob Stafford
“Well that was not at all what I was expecting lets have a look inside, the locks have burst and its held shut with straps. "takes straps full of papers and a strange object, hands tav the papers" tav these are in German and some thing that looks like runes, can you read them.”
Tavaron da Quirm
*scratches her head*
“Hmm... looks like some kind of recipes. Potions I'd say. Oh, and here's a contract with Warner Bros for playing a griffin in a film. “
*looks at the object*
“And what's that?”
Bob Stafford
“Its a staff with a gold disc in the end and a gem set in the middle of the disc. the gem is faintly glowing Whets this written on it”
"Anal natrachach, orth'bhais's bethad. do chel denmha"
“What do you make of that there is no instruction book. And scratched on the side property of m..... something cant read it you have a look..”
Tavaron da Quirm
*has a close look*
“Ah... may contain nuts. I'm just glad that it doesn't say made in Taiwan or so.”
Bob Stafford
“This tower may have nuts in it, US whets that noise that sort of claws scratching on stone sort of noise.…”
Tavaron da Quirm
“oh “
*and a little fuzzy griffin appears from somewhere in the nest, it's obviously a baby*
“Awww... “
*looks around*
“The mother certainly won't like seeing us here.”
Bob Stafford
“The staff thingy is glowing stronger now and some writing has appeared "griffon bane" opinion please Tav”
Tavaron da Quirm
“May mean that mummy is coming, hm? We should maybe better go and take this staff and suitcase with us. Maybe it belonged to her last meal or so. “
Bob Stafford
“ok do we leave fuzz ball here, tickles fuzzie under the chin.... tickle tickle ouch the little smegger bit my best tickling finger. That settles it your staying here chum. come on Tav time to go ..…”
Tavaron da Quirm
“I'm sure it's happier with mummy anyhow.”
*looks at the suitcase again*
“You know, I actually think this contract belongs the griffin, we should leave it here... maybe this is *her* suitcase?”
Bob Stafford
“well Im nosy I fancy going through it but you know more about this area than me so if you think we should then we will. Lets get back to the lime tree”
Tavaron da Quirm
“Hm... I think I'll take some of the recipes to copy them and bring them back tomorrow, but let's leave the other things here. And as the staff was in the suitcase, too I guess it belongs to the griffin. Really a pity.“
Bob Stafford
“Ok back to the lime tree my fingers hurting and its time for bed, That lime tree looks good to me standing at the base. lets go up and take a drink“...... after a while dozes off “night
Tav please get the imps to wake me with tea in the morning let me know what’s in the papers. see you tomorrow night night” zzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Tavaron da Quirm
“sleep well”
*wraps a blanket around the sleeping Bob*
Bob Stafford
“Stirs night Tav my finger hurts fuzzy frea “ ZZZZZZZZ..
Tavaron da Quirm
*starts to copy the recipes*
*Goes to gather firewood and sees that the imps make fresh cake so everything is ready if guests are coming*
*brings all the paper back to the nest and then goes to sleep in her willow*

So Bit by a Griffin I now have a Weir Animal out into the moonlight……… I feel the change come over me , brill claws big beak got to look at this mirror, Big ugh….. powerful Griffin ……. Eek ……. shrinking feeling mirror quick………..
Looks in mirror B****r little fuzzy griffin looking back TAV…….
I hope I grow up soon, could be worse Mmmm sit on LBP’s lap and snuggle into oo errr luverly…………

so you're a were-griffin now?

Well not quite a were-little fuzzy griffin were-griffin would be better butch manly but I am a were-little fuzzy griffin or you will get cuted

Oh thanks tav

what for?

cute aint I

You related to Elizabeth from Stargate Atlantis them?

yea, you're cute

Small cute furries sit on nice ladies laps and snuggle into........up for a sunggle

I could take advantage of this Tav.......

oh my

I rely on you to stop me if I get carried away.....

ok

You can sit on my lap if you want.

Ive come over all shy ...... well ok just for a bit

Far, far too much information

what? Bob's a little fuzzy griffin now

Dont you want a turn RG

Oh yes small cute and snuggly

good, I like small, cute and snuggly