h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Skittles(tm) are a type of sweet.
"skittles" as in "there's more to life than beer and skittles" is a bar game...where you have several wooden pegs arranged in a triangle formation (like pins in 10 pin bowling) and a ball suspended above them. The aim of the game is to throw the ball outwards such that it swings back and knocks over all the skittles.
The word is also used for the childrens version of 10-pin bowling in which a smaller heavy ball (about cricket ball size) is hurled at sand-filled plastic pins - at least this is my recollection from many an hour playing skittles in the back garden.

In order to prevent further confectionary related errors it should be noted that "Mars" is in fact a large reddish planet named after the roman god of war, and "snickers" are childish giggles

IMNSHO there isn't much more to life than beer and skittles. Monkfish perhaps?

Also...

Nerds are individuals who are introverts with no redeeming social value (versus the wonderful crunchy fruity candy).

Trident is the 3 forked spear held by the God Neptune (versus the chewing gum).

There are many other misnomers of the confectionary world and each should be fully researched to determine the ramifications of this effect of advertising on our current linguistics.

Skittles (or nine pins - due to the number of pins used) is played in alleys which used to be found at the back of pubs (which is where the quote comes from). I guess the term alley is used because it used to be the outside passageways between buildings that were used for both 9 and 10 pin bowling.
There are also table skittles. In this game a board with an upright pole is placed on the table. The skittles are placed on the base and a small ball attached to the top of the pole is used to knock them over.
The skittles themselves are arranged in a diamond shape as it's the best way to put nine things down evenly spaced

10 pin bowling is a derevation of skittles where an extra pin has been added. I think this is due to some US law which prohibited the betting on or playing of nine pins - is this correct?

I have only been to two places where there was still (a few years ago) an indoor skittle alley. One a pub in N. Malvern, called the Star. This pub ran a competition on sundays where the winner would win plenty of beer. The other place was the Plessey sports and social club in Swindon. A typical working mens club kind of place.

and back to silly named sweets;
Opal fruits didn't have a semi-precious stone inside.
Starburst, well if it did then we wouldn't be here.

Juju Bees--I don't think I'd like eating insects, and what species is a juju bee anyway?

Whatchamacallit--Could be anything, not necesarily chocolate, peanut butter and peanuts as the packaging claims.

Orbitz--Well, what the hell's it doing down here then?

These obscure candies and treats brought to you by somebody who has been to too many 7-11's in strange cities.

And I thought I was the only one that bought any sweets with the word "NEW" on them.

My current favourite are cheap bonbons. Not the nice, lemon-sherbert-covered toffee you get in filling stations and the like, but the cheap ones which are various flavours, and contain very sweet fruit chews. Nice.