h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have unsuccessfully tried to give up the tabs for years.
I've tried the books, the tapes, exercise and extreme poverty and none of it has worked.
Has anyone got any ideas, especially for smokers with no willpower, loads of stress and a complete disregard for medical statistics?

Give up with somebody - we made a kind of competition out of it. Also start taking up Sport immediately and
don't stop being surrounded by smokers...and have one spare cigarette somewhere "just in case".

Nicotine replacement. . .It works for a while but you'll probably relapse if you have as little will power as me. The gum is good as it also provides an alternative 'oral fixation' apparently. The patches are useful if you are not 'habitually addicted'. For example if you need the nicotine but not the feel of a cigarette in your hand/mouth. Also playing with a pen in your fingers is just as annoying to everyone else but better for you. (Unless someone takes offence and beats you up for doing it ALL the time)
Alternatively get a really big friend to punch you on the arm everytime you have one. . .this kind of negative conditioning might just work.

Well, I'm still off the fags, must be 5 months by now, even in recent difficult situations I didn't feel like they would help me...All those products out there probably just make money for the person who sells it, I think you have to find the strenght in yourself. Although, punching might help ...

Why quit at all? I mean, other than the obvious reasons of cancer, associated lung problems, and an early death, what's the problem? I love to smoke. If I didn't smoke, I'd have all this free time and nothing to do with it!