h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I found this little gem while surfing the net for all things Tanis.

Companion Rhapsody
(to be sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)


TANIS: Is this my real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Where do the stars hide?
Why does evil close in on me?
RAISTLIN: Hourglass eyes
Look up to the skies and see.
I'm not a weak mage,
I know the truth, you see.
There will be Dragons Blue, Dragons White
Dragons Good rise to fight.
Any way the War goes
Doesn't really matter to me - to me.
TAS: Tanis, just look at me!
Found a purse all full of gold!
Oh, it's yours? Well, then I'll hold-
Tanis - please let go of me!
I swear I thought you'd thrown it all away!
STURM: Tanis... hey let him go.
He didn't mean to take your cash,
We must be off to find the Lance tomorrow.
Caramon, Caramon:
Where is Kitiara?
KITIARA: I'm late, to meet my friends.
Sent men to the front line
Greatest power will be mine.
Good-bye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gonna leave you all behind and lead my troops.
Tanis (ooo-ooo), you deserve to die.
Behind my back you've fallen for Laurana..
LAURANA: I see a little Qualinesti in your soul,
Tanthalas, Tanthalas, can I be your companion?
The memories you're fighting-
That human woman's fright'ning me!
TANIS: Kitiara (Kitiara), Kitiara (Kitiara)
Kitiara Uth Matar-
A Dragonlord!
FLINT: I'm just an old dwarf, everybody bugs me.
chorus: He's Just an old dwarf, but he's still family.
He'll give his life so that we can be free.
CARAMON: Easy go, easy come. Everybody thinks I'm dumb.
chorus: Car-a-mon, we do not think you're dumb
I'm not dumb?
chorus: Car-a-mon, we do not think you're dumb.
I'm not dumb!
chorus: We do not think you're dumb.
I'm not dumb, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum,
Oh, brother Raistlin, brother Raistlin,
Brother Raistlin, where'd you go?

RAISTLIN: To Takhisis, she's a black robe set aside for me
For me...
For meee!
(musical iterlude, headbanging, etc.)
STURM: So you think evil dragons can beat the good guys?
So you think you can stab me and leave me to die?
Oh, Lady - you might do this to me, Lady
But you'll never win out,
You'll never deafeat Good and Right
TANIS: Paladine has triumphed
Check the skies and see.
Evil has no place here-
Evil has no place here-
We're free.

Any way the War goes........ (fade)