h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Got no sleep last night,
Angry that my entry was rejected.
Got no sleep last night,
Angry that my journal was neglected.
I got them Virtual Blues again,
But I guess that's to be expected.

<BB<

Been on-line so long now
My lover just don't understand.
Gotta pay my phone bill,
Can someone please lend me a grand?
Got them virtual blues again,
I ache deep in my typing hand.

Woke up this mornin'
And headed for my h2g2,
But I got no energy.
Even my smiley face feels so blue,
His grin is forced.
I got them Virtual Blues again...

Thanks guys I've applied a little artistic licence with the odd substitution, no offence/criticism intended. A good start, I have a feeling this could be one of those long rambling blues

I'm bluer than the background,
On a h2g2 page.
I'm cursin' at my cursor,
And every download takes an age.
I got them Virtual Blues again,
And I got superhighway rage.

I'm Blue and I'm Lonely,
All my friends have logged away.
It seems that I'm the only
Researcher here today.
I'm gonna get me some Health Warning,
Drink all my troubles away.

Just a first attempt

My proxy server,
It dies each day.
Aitch two Gee two,
Just goes away.
one-double oh-six-one,
my connection's being refused.
I am the network admin,
and I got the Microsoft Blues

Thanks for listening to my dire singing
BCNU - Crescent

Nice one Crescent I'm afraid it will take some drastic tweaking to get it into the Virtual Blues verse structure though , hope you don't mind. Maybe it's the beginning of a new Microsoft Blues song....but I'm a little wary of starting that one, knowing how we all *love* Microsoft it may keep me *very* busy

I can't move my mouse hand,
My fingers have all gone to sleep.
I'm uncomfortable sitting, I can't stand
I'm just frozen and I weep.
I've got no energy to do nothing,
I've got them virtual blues again.

<BB< <BB<

Been sitting at my screen so long
That now my back is achin'
And I'm gettin' eye-strain
And my heart is breakin'.
Researchin' made a wreck of me,
I've got them Virtual Blues again.

You write 16 Posts,
And what do you get?
Another huge phone bill
And deeper in debt.
Oh Peta, please call me, 'cause I'm in pain
I got them Virtual Blues again.

(Blind Orange Ormondroyd, after Tennessee Ernie Ford)

The only e-mail I'm gettin'
Is article rejection slips,
The only snail-mail's me phone bill,
Me social life's in an eclipse.
How do I get outta this life I'm stuck in?
I've got the Virtual Blues again.

<BB<

Excellent work chaps, new verses now in.

I'm unconscious on the floor,
And my head just keeps spinnin',
I can't take any more,
But me day is just beginnin',
All I've got is my hangover,
I've got those Virtual Blues again.

<BB<

Does the real world exist?
Some actors on a scene
Make me live in such mist
As never has been seen
As I discuss, the time
Follows his path unruled
But slightly with this rime
It is the time who's fooled.
For when he chases me
He forgets that indeed
I shall leave him no fee
For the Nothing I breed.

Typo

Ummm, yeah, is this blues? Thanks for dropping by anyway

Don't forget the golden rule of Blues:

"The second line of a blues song, is just the same as the first,
Yeah, the The second line of a blues song, is just the same as the
first.............."

When I close my eyes
All I see is a blue screen
I've got it so bad
I'm answering posts now in my dreams
Wake up but I find
I fell asleep at my keyboard

When you're in cyberspace,
No-one can hear you cry,
And I feel like uploadin'
To the great site in the sky.
But who'd keep my homepage updated then?
I got them Virtual Blues again.

My keys keep a'stickin'
Ain't no in in my inbox
My keys keep a'stickin'
My heart takes a lickin'
The stickin's from drinkin'
Try'n to lick them 'ol Virtual Blues.


--inspired by the Bailey's Irish Creme I just dribbled on my keyboard.