h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, I'm not quite new today, but it's my first re-visit, so everything feels pretty new still.

Got on place on that ship for a dolphin?

Hey captain/keptin/skipper Boy
Now, after serving you several breweries' worth of drinks, I think you(and everyone else on this ship) should know me. I'm Quorn, the barkeep on Ten-Forward.

*Boy sniggers*

What?

*Boy sniggers again*

Oh, I see, it's my nose *scratches extremely large nose*, isn't it? Does my nose amuse you somehow?

Well, I'll have you know that us Refungi appeciate voluptuous and beautiful noses such as mine.

Now, there's something I wanna talk to you about....
I've noticed that with all the invasion plots and enemies and tennis players around, crew morale is low. Being a highly experienced barman, I think I know how to keep them happy...
Therefore, I want to be made Chief 'Keepy People Happy' Officer until the problem is solved, or until I find a better name for it.

What I'm trying to say is that I want a donut...

Oh, and something else. I may not have been the first one to point this out, but isn't that the Deathstar outside?

Hi ecco, and also hi to Quorn (ah, right, NOW I get it... )

I'm just doing a bit of very lazy reverse ACE-ship, trying to get new users to come to me...

And, of course, there's room for a dolphin - in the David Brin stylee of course...

And hey, Quorn, of COURSE you can be "Keeping people happy" officer. And have a doughnut communicator thing.