h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Joanna looks impatient, as ever*

*As soon as the monitor darkens, a device in L's pocket starts beeping. He takes it out and unfolds it... It appears to be a laptop with a rather big screen... L notices BB's envious looks and smiles at him, then looks at the display... Then jumps up in excitement...*

L: Seriy! R! I've traced the signal down... In the few moments when he didn't know he was on air, he hadn't bothered to cover his traces properly... We have the exact coordinates!

So, we're going...?

*All* of us...?

*Volk looks at the others*

I have a plan. My Atlanteans have many shuttles and fighters in various places under the ocean. Bond, Liebe, E and I will go on this shuttle with a small crew of Atlanteans. E will be disguised as a crew member. Iwan will take the rest of you to other ships. Once Bond, Liebe, E and I have landed, E will try to take out their surveilance equipment and will then send a signal from our ship. At the signal all of the Atlantean shuttles can launch simultaneously.

*He looks at E*

It is a dangerous role I have outlined for you. Will you do it?

Of course...

*L looks a little worried...*

L: E, do you know what you're doing?

*He notices that E looks very resolute, and decides not to contradict...*

L: Well, Seriy, that's a good plan then... We can start at your command...

*E noticed the worried look that crossed Liebes face...*

I'll be fine...

*E isn't too keen on worrying Liebe...but she knew what she was getting herself into...*

Right, then. Iwan, get a uniform for E. Liebe, patch me through to our "friend" in space.

*Liebe fiddles with the radio, then nods at Volk, who speaks into the radio*

All right. Bond, Liebe and I will be coming in the shuttle with a small crew to fly it. The others are dispersing. You are playing a dangerous game inviting us there. The three of us are more than a match for you and your men.

*Signs off and enters shuttle*

*Felix, Joanna and Bluebottle watch the shuttle hatch close and power up*
OK, people, we'll just have to get up to that station some other way...
*ponders*
Maybe I could call in a favour from NASA. BB, have you got a spaceworthy craft lying about, how about you Jo?

Well, if I had one just *hanging around* do you think I'd be here now??
*Joanna looks a little sulky*
But I'm qualified to fly one, of course.
*smiles*

*BB's face looks blank*
I guess we'll have to 'borrow' a shuttle from NASA then.
Follow me
*BB and Joanna follow felix out of MI6 HQ and down the road to the millenium dome*
You didn't think it was *just* a large worthless tent did you? This is part of NASA's space protection program. The control room is in the body zone.

*Joanna loois around with a renewed interest.... she'd thought the dome was silly... but now she's not so sure...*

*They enter the body zone*
Right, the controls are simple, squish the large pulsating plastic heart to go faster and squeeze the kidneys to slow down.
*pushes a bogie which creates three seats from out of the floor*

*Joanna gives the controls a slight dirty look*
Okay, Powering up....
*Sound effects... a big engine starting to life*
The Heart's go faster, is it???
*squishes heart decisively.....*

A boat on the thames, where a rich boy is sailing past the dome
to show the dome slowy rising from its foundations and hovering for a few moments before accelerating rapidly, with the wind knocking the rich guy overboard.

*Bond, Volk, Liebe and E approach the space base in the shuttle.*

Volk: Arm the weapons systems, Liebe. I don't like the look of this.

Liebe: Weapons read. One hit with one of our rockets should severely damage the station.

Volk: I can see an impulse cannon aimed at us. We are almost within range.

Bond: Shall I push this button?

Volk, Liebe together: NOOOOOO.

Bond: Oh, sorry.

*The radio crackles then a gentle voice is heard:*

Aliens space station to unidentified shuttle. Welcome. You can land on the main pad. Hope you enjoy your sta

*The group look at each other with puzzle faces*

E: That's not the villian.

Volk: I think we have been had. Radio Atlantis base, Liebe. Find out if there has been any suspicious flights to this station in the last few days.

*Several minutes later, Liebe gets a report back from Atlantis base.*

You were right. Two days ago, there was a flight from these coordinates:

http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=95&thread=45440

As you can see, that is on the dark side of the moon.

Bond: And I'm sure that is where we will find our man. Radio the others and let them know the new coordinates.

*Liebe radios the Millenium Dome and the others, while Liebe changes course.*