h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Old business.... new business... monkey busines...

New to this meeting is Englander... welcome once again.

Collaborative projects are still open... freethinker's book reviews in the Hall of Records, favorite religious jokes in For Those Who Think Christianity Is A Joke, and song lyrics in Hymns of the FFFF... all links available on the FFFF main page.

Billypilgrim posted an excellent email in the previous thread, so good that I want to repost it here. I also think it would be an excellent addition to the jokes page (Austin, you listening? ). It's to Dr. Laura, a rabid zealot and holier-than-thou radio personality who solves people's problems by reverting to the laws of the Old Testament... when she isn't browbeating them into humiliation, that is. Anyway, here's the text:

Subject: Open letter to Dr. Laura

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of
the specific laws and how to best follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this? I
would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day
and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell?
I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of
mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but
not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is
an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't
agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if
I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am
confident you can
help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.

Sincerely,

Brother Francis


This meeting is now open.

Greetings to the new meeting

and I would just like to say again that the E-mail posted by billypilgrim was freakin' awesome

If everyone bookmarked at the start of a forum we'd be halfway already to beginning the next one (exactly halfway, in fact, because I count thirty members on the FFFF frontpage). Probably a good job most people generally don't turn up...

Okay okay, I can't think of anything to say. Bookmark.

*blush* I'm glad to see so many people enjoyed my Dr. Laura joke. You can actually thank my sister; she's the one who e-mailed it to me.

Someone (I'm sorry for not remembering names; I come around so seldom that I lose track of the conversations.... ) said that people lose faith in love for the same reasons they lose faith in God, and rightly pointed out that we look to the outside for happiness. Even the Bible-thumpers have to remember that the good book says that God helps those who help themselves. But that is forgotten by so many who still believe....

Love is,indeed, the same. So many people think that if they only found "the one" they would be happy. But everything else--- the bills, the aches and pains, the mounds of laundry, that annoying relative who just won't go away--- will still be there. The best we can hope for in love is a trusted companion who encourages us to be the best we can be. And if we find that we are, indeed, lucky.

About Dr. Laura: when she first started out, she wasn't bad. She gave some good, common-sense, advice. She wasn't afraid to tell the whiny, "It's not my fault" sorts that they were responsible for their own lives. But then as her popularity grew, her head got a bit too big, and she got preachy. To call her judgemental would be a minor understatement.

There's a book in this store by Dr. Laura: 'Ten Stupid Things Men do to Mess up Their Lives'. Seems she has this thing with the number ten..

-jb

Yep she sure likes the 10. There is also another one about 10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives (haven't seen or read them, just hear about them on the radio).

You know, we can't really blame her for this superior attitude she has copped the past couple years. I know EXACTLY what she is going through. I call it "Tech Support Superiority Complex". When I worked telephone tech support for an ISP, it was very easy to become snug and secure in your own genius when talking to absolute idiots on the phone 8 hours a day. You get a skewed sense of reality. You start to think that you are the only intelligent person in a world populated by idiots who can't use a mouse.

Dr. Laura everyday, day in and day out, listens to people who have the most difficult time thinking for themselves. Probably hundreds daily. If you listened to thousands of people calling you personaly to sort out the minutae in their lives, you would start to feel pretty damn superior as well I would wager. When I worked tech support, our callers were "cabbages". I wonder what she calls her callers OFF the air....

That was me, billypilgrim! And I forgive you for not remembering who said it, it's harder when you can't just scroll up and remind yourself.

That makes perfect sense, ZenMondo! I never really thought about that before.

I got another e-mail about Dr Laura from my mom today, but it wasn't a joke. I need to reread it so I can talk about it here.

Errr....don't know what that was all about. What I *meant* to say was, sorry I haven't been around much recently, but i've had much celebrating to do (strangely involving the intake of copious amounts of alcohol/other substances )

I've just read that Dr. Laura thing, and yes it was extremely funny, and I shall add it to FTOYWTRIAJ as soon as I get a chance.

Now, where are those paracetamol.....

OK, it's added.

Has anyone ever felt sorry for Dr Laura's kid? I mean, christ, she holds him up as a shining example of superior parenting producing the demi-messianic children with developed moral philosophies; you just know that kid has to go to a private school and kept away from sharp objects. I hope the guy goes into gay porn or something.

Nah, I suspect Dr. Laura is a Class III brainwasher - if you're got at birth, then there's a good chance that the normal rebellious desires won't kick in properly...

It's usually those with the strictest of upbringings who rebel the hardest... with results like those TG described, of performing in gay porn or employing themselves to a drug lord or something. He'll rebel sometime, in some way, of that you may have no doubt. It is the nature of teenagers... they must rebel in order to establish their own identity. And with his mom establishing this goodie-two-shoes identity for him, he's going to work hard and fast to shed himself of it.

Hey Engels Congratulations on Graduating, Good luck for the future.
May your post grad life be religion free and cool.... Ado!

Hello Ado! Hello Englander. Hello everyone else. Thanks to Sellers for getting me back here *^_^*

So...uh...
Guess you're sorting everything out between you, eh?

When I was queuing for a programme for Metal 2000 yesterday, a bible-guy cam up to me, friend and dad and started babbling. He was going on about '666' and 'god is the creator' but was speaking so incoherantly we couldn't really peice anything together. So, I guess we were classed as "ignoring him". As he walked off, he was still talking to himself. Then he went up to the two meaty blokes behind us...

Yeah, I think it's a requirement for those who perform sidewalk preaching that they have to have even less sense than the ones who do it for a living... still, they feel VERY passionate about what they believe... whatever it is...

The main street down Waikiki, Hawaii is a pretty interesting place at night... lots of street performers out at night. One that always annoyed me, though, is that a baptist church often held revivals right on the street. Did you know that God is hard of hearing? He must be, because they were straining their vocal chords to the breaking point to be heard. "Make a painful noise unto the lord."

I want to know what was in the big padded strange folder our guy was carrying...

Thanks Ado!
I shall try to keep as religious free for the next years as I have in the past. I think going to a public rather than a private university might help with that, could give me the chance to meet some *really* twisted people.

Reguarding the 'DNA's take, part 2' forum off of the Atheism Entry: there has been some difficulty with getting onto the forum. The problem was with a checksum. If you change the forum *address* by adding a 5 at the end of the first set of numbers, you should be able to get onto the forum: the number should read '322345'.

-jb

This is weird... we go from being completely avoided by Christians to two visits in a week. Was Pat Robertson condemning us on his show, or something?

Who's he then?