h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My parents own a house in Lancaster, which they rarely use, so I and my friends often decamp there of a weekend. One day last January, I and fellow hootoo-er Alfredo Marquez decided to go and watch the local football team at their improbably named ground Giant Axe.

They drew 0-0 with redditch, but the game was so enjoyable that I got hooked.

In the last twelve months I have been to see Lancaster at home to Redditch, Morecambe, Nuneaton, Gainsborough, Blackpool, the cast of Emmerdale, Stafford, Moor Green and Hinckley, and away to Runcorn and Leigh RMI.

Tomorrow night I will be off to Rossett Park in Crosby to see the mighty Dolly Blues away to MArine in the United Co-operative Dairies Lancashire FA Trophy, the second most prestigious county tournament organised by the Lancashire FA. It will be my third City game in ten days, after the Hinckley and Leigh games last week.

Twelve games in a season. In that time I have only seen the Everton first team five times, against Bolton, Palace, Sunderland, Man U and Portsmouth (plus the reserves against Liverpool and the under-18s playing Warrington Town's first team in the Liverpool Senior Cup).

I now find myself more concerned about Stuart Howson's move to Barrow than I do about Marcus Bent's to Charlton.

I have become so disillusioned with premier LEague football, I actually prefer watching a Conference North team. I even wrote a (now inaccurate) Guide entry on them- A4114027

It's a dangerous obsession! I've even started reading the NOn-League Paper regularly! I play Football Manager games as them.

I've been playing as Juventus. Not really anything to do with what you just said, but I thought I'd pre-empt the topic drift...

Managed to get Plymouth into the Premiership after second season but inability to sign players meant I had 4 points by xmas and got sacked. Ungrateful bastards...

FM2006 is toooooo hard.

I'm still playing 2005, being that I can't afford the new one without sacrificing a weekend's drinking.

I thought you used to be quite proud of having a relaxed attitude toward copyright law Pycorp?

Well I do, but the Internet's not working at my flat, and I don't think the university would look too kindly on me downloading any p2p software in order to 'acquire' FM2006...

Ahhh IC....

No T'interweb at home. I think I owuld rather do without telly and maybe even heating these days !

Anyway, back to the original topic of my posting, I went to the game against MArine in Crosby on Tuesday night, and it was a five goal thriller, with Lancaster coming back from 2-0 down to win, and MArine's captain being sent of for a scandalous bout of high volume swearing at the referree right in fron tof where I was stood.

So, on to the semi-finals of the Lncashire trphy, and Southport, Burscough, Accrington or Kendal await.

Southport, Burscough, Accrington and Kendal?

Sounds like a firm of accountants.

B

May as well be- why they certainly shouldn't all in the Lancashire Trophy when only Accrington and possibly Burscough are actually in Lancashire.