h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The title just about covers it really. Good luck.

I think that if you are going to demand "proof" from other people that they can help, then you should first show "proof" of your assertion that you are going mad.

Furthermore: if it can be clarified that you are not in fact going mad, then would that qualify as help?

Traveller in Time confused
"Do you want us to prove we can help you going mad ?

Do you want us to prove we can help either prevening you ar egoing mad or help you get mad ?

Do you want us to prove you are going mad instead of already beeing mad ? (not unlikely if you ask these kind of question)

Do we have to go mad to help you prove we can help you prove you are going to get the mad ?

Something like previous ? "

Be mad be happy be be be be be bee be bee be bee bee bee be bee bee be

There's no such thing as just 'going mad'.

So, what are your symptoms or are you just one of those people that says "I'm a bit mad" in a hollow voice while staring wide-eyed into the middle distance in order to sound cool and interesting? I can definitely help you with the latter cos I used to do that when I was in my early-mid teens.

Now I are perfectly normal.
Wibble.

Thank you to all the people who replied to my posting, you really helped.

Don't you wish? Most people with problems are not aware they have a problem until it is too late, and it really is not on for one to stand in front of the London to Brighton Express train and expect someone else to wash away all the gore of the aftermath.
Nor is it possible to reverse direction when one has just leapt from the Lenaing Tower of Piza.
Get with it Sunshine and take an asprin. :0)

If you're feeling abit "mad" in future just pop by and one us will be sure to offer the appropriate support...

i.e. shout 'PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!'

Nope you're not going mad, you're just catching up with the rest of the world and you're noticing that you're changing because you're noticing everyone else who hasn't caught up yet, and furthermore; Just like nutrients are almost tasteless if your body doesn't require them, you dont notice the people who have caught up with the continuum and are hence the same as you.

I think legally, socially and morally the fact that one is or might be *mad* precludes an individual from making that judgement. I know that a person can commit themselves to an institution for instance but that doesn't mean anything other than they think they are mad, not that they are in fact mad.

Or to put it as my Dad said on occasion- *All the world is mad 'cept thee and me...and sometimes I worry about thee.*



Stay cool, stirred but not shaken.

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oops!!!

I say you chaps! I think it so sad,
when a bounder thinks he is mad.
Wi' screams of delight he wakes in the night,
only to find he has starched his night pad.

With a sheet like a board on which the youth snored.
He dreamed he was chasing Philip Diller.
but when he woke up he insantly found,
he had screwed up his own feather piller.

But oh the dread as he fell out of bed,
when one leg really got hurt.
But when he woke up to take a wee sup,
he discovered he had cracked his night shirt. :0)

It matter not if thee is mad owd lad,
so long as it isnie catchin'.
An' wun day they'll lock thee up,
an' chuck key were no bugger is snatchin'

If thee 'as twa bludshot een en at,
an yer lugs hear "Ring Ding a Ling"
Tha's certainly daft as a brush owd mate,
an' wull be gone afore next Spring.

But if yer start ti warble like a bliddy cuckoo,
an' begin ti lay eggs in yer bed.
It nigh time yer wear dark glasses,
afore yu fright ivvery begger oot their head.

Mind yo! ah still hev a soft spot fer sum "Ding bats",
but that's as far as it goes.
Cos yu can't trust the beggers efter midnight,
especially iff'n yo is trimmin' the nails on yer toes.

Cum Xmas sum will play Santa,
an rock a wee bairn on the knee.
Then we'll have another daft begger by New Year,
It's true, jist yo wait an see! :0)

There's a famous bridge near Gatesheed,
an' it towers ower the Tyne.
an' one day if sum bugger drops it,
ah'd rather it be on thy foot an not on mine.

Us duz get some daft beggers writin'
an' uz get sum lefties an' all.
But ti admit yo is a tanner short of a quid.
is like evvin' a Stallion wi ony wun ball.

Bats hang upside down by their toe nails,
that's why their bum is aw red,
Cos they sleep wi' their butt facin' sunshine,
an' hunt at night wen we is in bed.

In Kraut land the bat is called, "Die Fledermaus",
and a flying mouse it appears to be.
But yud hev ti be mad jist like yer Dad,
settin' mouse traps at top of a tree. :0)

Rub a dub dub, three h2g2 in a tub.
Lost on the ocean blue,
You write a line and it looks fine,
but then h2g2 have a blue.

"Ye cannie scribe this an' ye cannie scribe that!"
they scream till blue in the face.
But then h2g2 get it all fer nowt,
so ah hev a smile oan mah face.

Hitler let power go to his head,
but he finally got the chop.
an' aw the little Hitlers at h2g2
would be better off pushin' a mop.