h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Went to see b/f this evening, and things did not go well.

OK it was the first time we have seen each other with noone else around for 3 weeks. It's that busy time of the bowls season. But that was not the problem.

Last week I was out after the match having a few drinks with my clubmates when the question of gay sportsmen came up. And in particular my b/f. I played stupid because I know he is more in the closet than I am. Well this evening he asked me to go over every detail of that.

He freaked.

He says he needs to act very straight for a while to discourage these rumours. I asked how can they be rumours when they're true. He threw a wobbly and almost threw a bottle of Gordon's at me. But I think he thought better of it, if I had to explain to some of the same guys why I may have been unable to play bowls in the morning.

Anyway we had an almighty row, and I drove for a while after I left his place.

So I may be a little depressed for a while please bear with me.

((((hugs))))

*sympathy*

Hang in there, DD. H2G2 needs you.

Don't worry guys I will.

BTW We lost our Irish Cup crown today, and I was playing a blinder.

The depression gets worse.

<<<>>>

This will probably sound really harsh, but try to remember that his s**t is his s**t and, whilst it's part of your life and you may have to deal with the consequences, it's kinda not for you to deal with and it's certainly not for you to condone. Stick in there chappie, and remember that you aren't him, and that there are boundaries.

Apart from that, all that can be said is how sorry I am (and I'm sure everyone is) to hear that.

<<<>>>

I hope you work things out, DD.

I hate the extra pressures we have to face - however 'tolerant' (and don't even get me started on that sad word) the world might be in many places - life really doesn't equip us to automatically deal with many people's reactions.

I hope the boyf. can find the strength (with your help) to deal with the question of you&him separately from the question of him&the world.

bubster

Wise words from all your friends DD.
Everyone matures at a different rate. Some people find it much harder to come to terms with who, or what, they really are. You are one of the lucky ones who has recognised himself and can live his life accordingly. It sounds as if your b/f has not reached this stage yet.
Maturity and knowledge of self comes with experience and, although you have had two years together, it sure appears that he just isn't ready to make the final commitment.
Don't despair too much. Try to act calmly. Give him time to think over the next few days/weeks. If you are serious about him still (which I am sure you are) then the best course of action will probably be to just sit this crisis out.
Come on... turn those lips up at the corner a little... please give me a small smile?
shazzPRME

I had some great chats on ICQ last night, I think I'm coming to terms with a lot of it. And I know see nothing here to tie me down so once agian the world is my oyster. Look out world, I'm back.

That is great DD I couldn't bear to think of you becoming too depressed over in rainy Ireland!! Maybe you need a break in rainy Holland some time in the near future!!
shazzPRME

Maybe.

Well, just give a shout whenever you are ready... we would love you to visit
shazzPRME

I too would not waste a good bottle of Gordon's.

Far to good to be thrown full up....empty mabe, but never ever full up!!!

Cheers Sid it was in fact only about 1/2 full.

<> DD, hope the dust is settling a bit .

Cheers BS and yes I think it is starting to settle today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I've just seen the Irish Senior Cup draw. As I'm not playing I'll be expected to pop down and watch them play. They drew the ex-b/f's team. What shall I do in 10 days time?

It's a tough one DD but if you can, IMHO, you should go and do what you would have done if this hadn't happened. Be friendly, be interested and be yourself. In many ways it's far more his problem than yours . HTH.

Cheers BS that was what I was sort of intending to try anyway. I've got lots of riends on both those teams so my non-appearance, as it's at home and we're not playing, would be more suspect. I'm actually more worried about wheter I should stay for drinks or not afterwards cause he is bound to stay. I could always stay sober I suppose.

Go and remember that dignity is priceless. Smile, be charming and show him what you are made of.... spiritualy speaking of course!