h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I picked these up in a GCSE german lesson many years ago I'm a bit rusty so I'm not sure on the accuracy.

Entschuldigung, wie komme ich am besten zum Bahnhof?
Excuse me, which is the best way I can get to the train station

Nehmen sie die erste/zweite/dritte straße links/rechts
Take the first/second/third street on the left/right

Well guess what - I have an addition to make:

1. Actually we say "Schlaf[e] gut und träum[e] [et]was Schönes" (Sleep well and dream something nice)

2. The most important things to say in German-speaking countries:

Wo gibt es hier Bier?
[Where do I get beer around here]

Entschuldigen Sie bitte, wo finde ich hier eine Toilette?
[Excuse me but where do I find a toilet around here?]

Könntest Du bitte dein Handy ausschalten?
[Could you please turn off your handy?]

Regnet es hier eigentlich immer?
[Does it always rain here?]

This should get you through virtually any conversation...

How about...

Dein gabelstapler ist in zweiter reihe parken (or thereabouts)

= Your forklift truck is double-parked

Um Gottes Willen - in England weiß man doch nicht, was ein Handy ist. Es heißt MOBILE PHONE. Oder Amerikanisch CELL PHONE. Einer dieser blöden neudeutschen Ausdrücke, die die Bedeutung des Wortes in der Originalsprache TOTAL VERFEHLEN.

danke trillian, das mit dem cellular phone wollte ich auch gerade anbringen..

und ein satz den man UNBEDINGT braucht: =8oD

"ich will kein deutsch sprechen!"
i don't wanna speak german!

and taipan:

there are still 2 things to change on your page

1. remove the '?' after 'Das habe ich nicht verstanden'
2. in the line 'schön und träum was schönes' you should either remove the 'schön und' or add an 'Schlaf' before the sentence. but that way you have to change the translation into 'Sleep well and dream something nice'

What about 'sweet dreams'? So much nicer than 'sleep well...', isn't it?
(= Süsse Träume)
Instead of lack filling 'well' or something they use sound like 'ne'!
Don't forget they have ability to think qudratically!

What about 'sweet dreams'? So much nicer than 'sleep well...', isn't it?
(= Süsse Träume)
Instead of lack filling 'well' or something they use sound like 'ne'!
Don't forget they have ability to think in quadratic dimensions!

this 'ne' is short for 'eine'=a or one

example

das ist ne gute idee
that's a good idea

and a (maybe) better idea than 'sweet dreams' would be:

feuchte träume
wet dreams..

(8(|)