h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Tamm's Chinese Take-away - A6849606
Author: Wargamer (The Wanderer) - U188882

Not glamorous... but chicken curry is important to me.

Could be a winner with a bit of work... the most noticeable thing is the use of the first person which should be removed.

C461 be where the other Entries about food establishments live.

It would be helpful to change the title to say where the Take-away is eg "Tamm's Chinese Take-away, Town, County, UK"

You can't quote prices in the edited guide - it might still be here in a hundred years - it's best to just mention that it's reasonably priced.

This can make the edited guide, but it needs a little work so that it fits the Writing-Guidelines (don't be too put off by the guidelines - they're mostly common sense )

Done a little bit of editing... what else do you recommend is changed?

Well I know it's a vague thing to say, but it needs to be more factually orientated, despite the friendly way in which it should explain the details.

What I mean is - as an example, instead of the section 'What should I order?', you could have a section on what sort of food is available, noting that the chicken curry is rather good.

It's actually quite refreshing to see an article about a single take-away up North - the only problem is the style of the entry, and that shouldn't be too difficult to fix.

The "Introduction" header is redundant as the House Style is that the first paragraph is the introduction by default.

Right... umm... I don't actually know what else they serve, curry is all I order!

I'll check on saturday when I go down, then I'll edit the entry.

Back to entry, anyone?

it's a shame, though, because this is the sort of thing that I think we should have more of in the guide.
oh well...

Yes, it is a shame, but I don't see how it could be picked. It's probably even borderline Fleamarket; someone from Warrington could finish it off? Any other Scouts about with an opinion?

I say back to entry. There's a bit too much first-person for FM.

BTE it is, then - added

Hey there, Wargamer!

I only wish that I was near enough to give it a go. Curry can be wonderful.

If you are finding it tricky to remove the first person stuff, consider something like "The curried chicken is especially tasty" rather than discuss personal habits or traditions. We'll certainly get the idea that the researcher likes it.

Good luck with this and future entries,