h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(yep, The Eagles - though in the acoustic, brilliant version from Hell Freezes Over)

In all my travelling time, I do not believe I have ever actually stayed at a hotel named California. Been in a hotel in California, yes - the Executive Inn, Hayward, near to the place that served "Alimony Ale, the bitterest ale in the West" that I believe I have referenced recently.

And I've been to hotels with rather pretentious names. Hotel Euro Century 2000 does sound impressive, right? Believe me, it wasn't. Staying in Basel? Pick something else unless you like a shoebox of a room, with a minuscule TV in the corner under the ceiling and a bathroom you'll have to reverse out of if you want to change opinion.

Royal Palm Residence in Campinas fared a lot better. As did the W Lakeshore in Chicago. And the Asian hotels win hands down in both opulence and service.

I've done Marriots, Ramadas, NHs. A Cyrano somewhere in Italy. Some, here and there, I've stayed at two, three or many times. Such as the Glynhill in Paisley where the manager used to pop out and say hello and they knew me by name at the reception desk. It is nice to feel welcome - it's also a little unsettling as it's a proof that you've been away from home often enough.

But never a "California." If I ever check into one, I'll probably check the ceiling for mirrors and the fridge for the colour of the champagne. And if it fits too well, I might check back out in a hurry...

[-B4-]

Hmmm... best hotel I've ever stayed at was probably Reisen in Gamla Stan (Old City) in Stockholm. That was the first hotel chain I w*rked for and, since they weren't fully booked, the staff took the opportunity to impress the 'cousins from the countryside' and gave us the honeymoon suite, at staff rate. It had a huuuuuge bed with a glass well behind the head end, and behind the glass wall was a bubble pool (we had a standard bathroom as well). They had a swimming pool in the basement, beneath a medieval (or at least very old) arched stone ceiling, and the breakfast buffee was .

I've also stayed at the complete opposite, with simple whitewashed walls, one bed, one table, one chair, one desk lamp, one ceiling lamp and the only decoration was a small carved crusicix on the wall - but everything was very clean, even though the towels felt rather rough on the skin, and the breakfast, while very basic, was still 'all you can eat'. It was run by Catholic nuns and was situated in Locarno in Switzerland.

"And if it fits too well, I might check back out in a hurry... "

You can, of course, check out any time you like... but you can never leave

Sorry to be predictable, someone was going to do it, it might as well be me.

Deb

, deb - you're right, someone had to do it...