h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There was a young sales-girl from Rank
with sales pitch exceeding frank
This resourceful young lass
would xerox her ass
while her clients would all have a think.

This is based on an apocryphal (and true) story and is the only example of a limerick created by me from - scratch.

Verse 2

This endeavour, however was not
As unique as you'd think on the spot
For all over the globe
You will find if you probe
Photostatic copies of wot

And the funny thing is, with respect
That bottoms are similarly decked
With wobbles and dimples
and skin tones and pimples
It's often quite fun to inspect.

For far from the old black and white
The copies in colour delight
Compared bum to bum
Oh look! Too much sun!
What was that about losing one's sight?

Bored at the office, that lass,
Thought to get quite a few laughs.
She yanked off her jeans,
Sat on the machine,
Faxed her boss a copy o'her behind.

~Sirona

Her boss thought the thing was quite rude,
Despite claims of, "I am not a prude!"
So instead of a quip
He sent back a pink slip
So she faxed him a new attitude.

The boss, on his way to the well,
Hadn't noticed the paper had fell.
his wife had a rage,
when she noticed the page,
he returned and she screamed 'go to hell!'

So he sent to his wife a new fax
Of what oddly enough wasn't lax
Said his wife, "It's not his...
Unless he has to whiz
Or he's been dipping his kerchief in wax."

The last lim'rick from that poor old sot
Seemed nothing but a whole load of rot
I just didn't get it
But don't go and fret it
It might be I smoke too much pot.

The last lim'rick from that poor old sot
Seemed nothing but a whole load of rot
I just didn't get it
But don't go and fret it
It might be I smoke too much pot.

The wife, though amused at the fax
Did borrow Mz Bobbit's fine axe
"Though his it be not,
I'll send his to rot!
His hasn't been stiff since the tax."

The poems about the man's wife
and Ms. Bobbitt who wielded a knife
are mildly charming
and a little alarming
but to all of you I say "Get a Life!"

But knife does not rhyme well with Fax,
Therefore the transition to axe.
And as far as a life,
Can you find one sans strife?
Philosophically, thou doest not wax.

Enough talk of knives and of axes,
It started as xerox and faxes,
Of things in the pink,
Stimulated by drink,
And aligned along suitable axees

The thing about h2g2
Is that staying on topic won't do
For without topic drift
We would lose the uplift
And all we'd have left is the goo

Of what you say is true,
of H2G2 And Goo,
But why don't you say
Let's take him away,
and with more limricks he'll pay

Sylvester Stallone's real life Mum
Tells fortunes by reading your bum
Just send a photo by fax
But - post or pre wax??
Do hairs affect the outcome??