h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One of the great things about Doctor Who was that it listened to viewer feedback. Knowing that it was a popular joke amongst children brought up on Dr Who, in one episode the Doctor (and, I think, Ace) run up some stair, believing themselves to be safe. The daleks rise up on weird light hover beam type things, and continue the chase.

Stair are not the Daleks' Achilles heel!

I never saw that episode where the daleks hover, but I have seen there undoing by placing a non-conducting material between the floor and it's wheels, effectively "killing" or "putting to sleep" the dalek. Really though this could go on and on. What I find perplexing is it was always suggested that the daleks had the capabilities to terraform planets, build great and powerful spaceships and possessed technology far beyond even future humanity. Yet, they where compelled to recreate themselves, in the same manner, generation after generation- for thousands of years. I guess Darwin's origin of Species do not apply to techno-creatures. Because if it did dalek's would have died out long ago.

I always think that the Daleks don't actually use wheels but hover perhaps a milimetre off the ground, why would the ultimate species use wheels for heavens sakes? Thus they only have to increase this hovering to outwit stairs(if they weren't always hovering how could they conquer desert planets with sand? Or any planet that wasn't completely flat? If they do bring back Dr Who, I want hovering Daleks not rolling ones.)

If I may be so bold:

When we first saw the daleks living in their city on Skaro they were, indeed, rolling about on wheels and needed to be touching the floor to conduct the electricity on which their machines ran. Kinda like malevolent dodgem cars.

Later in the 60's, however, we saw them freed of the city (presumably they invented batteries) and - in the dalek invasion of Earth - they had hover-disks which they drove up onto, which would allow them to fly about and be superimposed just about anywhere. Further down the track hovering became de rigueur, and of course in between they hired thugs (the Ogrons, anyone?) to run about and drag people before them to be menaced.

As to updating the models - the form of the daleks was stated by their creator Davros to be the ultimate evolutionary form for his people (the "Kaled"s: read it backwards - this is clever stuff!). Now he was just talking about the 'bubbling mass of hate' which lives inside each machine, but the Daleks were never very good at second guessing Davros, so perhaps they thought they'd stick with what they knew.

Hah! And I thought this knowledge was useless! Just goes to show...

I remember that episode with the floating Dalek and the stairs too. It had something to do with Ace having a converted boombox that was a radio transmitter or something. I also remember the way the Daleks kept their form because of Davros creating them that way originally. Even when they split into two groups, those following Davros and those condemning him, they all kept the same form. They just changed colors and made an Emperor Dalek. Not really sure why they would follow a gigantic rolling egg timer instead of a crippled old man with a third eye, but hey, who can understand the Dalek mind?

Yes! A lot of that episode went over my head, because i was about 9 when I saw it, but there was the boom box that got blown up by the dalek ship landing (I remember that being unconvincing, though)and then... There was a coffin... and a blind vicar who said "you have very quiet pall bearers"... because THE COFFIN FLOATED! That's it! Then he put Ace's baseball bat in it, and it came out all electrified and... I wanted one of them so much. Remember? You hit things with it, and they went 'vishhht' and exploded!
The daleks went through a bad patch around the Jon Pertwee era, though. They were making the transition from guns which made things explode to guns which shot a glowy beam, and inbetween they had guns which did sod all! And they all sounded INCREDIBLY camp.

My Daleks are the supreme beings of the universe! They do not require natural selection!

STAIRS ARE NOT A PROBLEM!!!!

[Apologies for shouting.]

One would have thought they could come up with a better design such as having proper arms instead of a pair of pincers. They never manage to hold anything, let alone operate a keyboard!
How do those things reproduce anyway?

Foolish Terran.
If they had arms coming out of them, they'd look like men in tin boxes rather than THE SUPREME BEINGS OF THE UNIVERSE!

Sorry, doing it again. Happy Christmas.

Even SUPREME BEINGS OF THE UNIVERSE shall bow to the awesome might of natural selection. BEHOLD! Has anyone seen a dalek in years!?!

Seen any Time Lords lately?

No, but I'm sure they are around here somewhere....

The reason the Daleks have never succeeded is their lack of fashion sense, now the Doctor on the other hand.....oh. Ah yes I see your point.
Man 1 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 2 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 1 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 2 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 1 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 2 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 1 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.

Hatman:Oh no! An endless gag-time-paradox-thingy!

Man 1 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 2 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 1 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 2 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 1 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 2 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.
Man 1 :What? Have my trousers fallen down? Ah i see your point.

And so on...

And so on? Wha?! I don't get your meaning... could you elaborate to include common folk.

In a nutshell, the reason why Daleks will remain supreme . . . NO TROUSERS!

yes

you could be right about that

the story in which a dalek went up stairs was rememberance of the daleks one of the best storys of the seventh doctor(sylvester mc Coy)

It just occured to me that the Scotch also do not have trousers. Could this mean that God meant to say... and the Scotch shall inherent the earth? Does this also mean that humanity itself will depend solely on the Scotsman ability to defend Earth from said Daleks. Please explain O' depantsed one.

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