h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi. Just got here at h2g2 (3 weeks ago) and I saw your page, and read your stuff - so I hope you don't mind that I left a message (I see all these conversations and I wonder if I'll ever keep up - everyone seems to know each other already) feel like the new kid at school (again - I was an army brat, so it's nothing new).
Oh heck. I'm waffling. How do you like being Vegan? Don't you miss cheese? Erm, I had to have a chuckle when I read about your daughter and her nail varnish. My elder daughter (aged threeandahalf) wants it on all the time. We have clear stuff when I can get away with it and very pale pink when I can't. Now whe wants it on her toes too. And her ears pierced. She'll be wanting to go to the youth club soon - I sometimes have the feeling that it's all going too fast

Hello Sho!

Of course I don't mind you dropping by! I love meeting "new" people and am quite flattered when people read the stuff on my page and bother to leave a message as a result!

So, how did you hear about h2g2 and do you enjoy it? (I'm an addict!)It does appear as though a lot of people know each other, but I've been here for almost a year now, so I suppose have got to "know" people by bumping into them in various forums. It took a bit of settling in though, as some forums are purely for larking around, having virtual parties and adventures, while others are more serious, discussing various issues. However, most my postings tend to be in the frolicking forums!

If you want to join in some of them, feel free to follow my postings, from my home page.

It's funny you saying that your three year old daughter is into nail varnish, etc. Mair, when about that age, would have a tantrum if she was put into a dress and used to tell people, on being asked her name, that she was "Tisser 'Obbin" (Christopher Robin). She also used to live in a green hat with a feather stuck in it, a baggy pair of green shorts and carried stick which was her toy gun (until she was given a water pistol and toy sword for her third birthday).

Ahh! I'm going all broody, just thinking about my little blue-eyed, curly-haired toddler!!!

I love being a vegan...Dairy products seem fatty and yucky when I eat them nowadays, by mistake (my hubby and son are omnivores although Mair is vegan). Okay - I do still like the smell of cheese on toast and it makes my mouth water! Oh! Then there's the Yoe Valley organic yoghurts that I buy for John...They smell and so look lovely that I'm sorely tempted to "dive" into a pot! Still, Provamel do make soya yogurts which are lovely and taste much better than my home made stuff. Then again, ANYTHING can taste better than my attempts in the kitchen!!!!!

Army brat? My first husband was in the army. We were posted to Middle Wallop, Hampshire but after a year or so of married quarter life, we bought our own house and I had a good job, so never went with him when he was posted abroad. I always used to feel sorry for the kids who had to be moved about with their parents and promised myself that I wouldn't put my offspring through that experience. As it turned out, the marriage broke up after nine years, shortly after Mair was born.

Where about do you live, Sho? I live in County Durham, England with John (my second hubby), our two sprogs, five cats and three dogs. I'm originally from just outside London though (Uxbridge, Middx).

Catch you later....
Love
Gwen
xxx

Wow, what a lot of post I got! it's like Christmas

So, I have lurked around a bit, but I think I'll stick a toe in here and there. Sometimes I just don't understand what's going on, so I back out & quietly close the door.... but, mostly I thing h2g2 is my spiritual home (which is funny, because since age 5 I was convinced I come from Narnia)

I heard about h2g2 from an interview with DNA in a German news magazine. But, I have to say, I have been in love with the guy (David Dixon) who played Ford Prefect in the Hitch.....Galaxy since I was a teenager. Do you recall him? Beautiful blue eyes (although not up to Peter Gabriel's standard). I'm getting up the guts to make another guide entry..... don't hold your breath. So, how did you hear about h2g2??

Saskia (3 1/2 yrs) loves to be a girly. Nobody can understand it. I was a tomboy. My brother's daughter (now aged 9) only wears black trousers and Docs... still, since I love sewing, it's great to be able to run her up a girly dress of an evening. Eveline (23 months) is a real girl to look at (blonde, blue eyes, butter wouldn't melt) but she's a minx. Where did you find the name Mair (is it Irish?) it's beautiful. When I was 4 I was batman. For years. used to wear my mum's kitchen apron and beetle about on my scooter. I was very sad when my little brother wouldn't be Robin.

Toddlers, in case you have forgotten, are God's way of telling us about birth control. You can borrow mine when you get broody again

If your family all eat different stuff, doesn't that make mealtimes complicated? I presume, then, that you don't eat Quorn? I'm a dedicated cheese & yoghurt eater. And when I was most recently pregnant I ate meat. Loved it. Now I feel soo bad about it. But then, I have to get over it and get on. But I don't think I'll ever make the change to Vegan. Too hard, anyway, in Germany. Meat is a way of life. Usually when I say I'm veggie they say "why?" I'm convinced there is a law which says that consumption of meat 3 times a day is mandatory - penalty for failure is watching German TV for 24 hours.

Actually, (I don't really believe all that stuff but I'm Saggitarius but it seems to suit us) all the travelling around as a kid was ok. Then at 12 I was sent to boarding school. Which wasn't the best thing for any of us. (I hated it and consequently became a severe underachiever - I'm still recovering, and it cost my parents lots of money and lost holidays and cars and frayed nerves - we all have a very very good and solid relationship though..... oh this is too heavy, get out of here) I joined the Army myself (Signals then Intelligence Corps) and married a Soldier (although we're both OK now) and now we live here in Germany complaining about Germans. Good, eh? Was your first husband in the Air Corps? It is hard, but I don't think anyone has to blame themselves if a marriage to a soldier (and the rest of the Army) doesn't work out. And then it was much worse - the Army took no account of wives' needs, wishes & careers. Oh well - it's firmly in our past now.

I went very close to Co. Durham once (I was posted to Catterick for my basic training - yuk!) it is beautiful up there. I'm a Yorkshire girl (ok, I'll admit to 29 of my 36 years) and my dh (Mick) comes from.... ohmigodican'tadmitthis... Middlesborough. Which was in Yorkshire when he was born, thankfully.

Flaming Norah, this went on for ever. If you ever get through it all...... I'd love to hear from you again.

Sheona
xx
PS. I do this at work, so weekends you won't get any replies.... unless my jurassic computer at home decides to work....

*Recoils from the merest mention of Christmas as it's both her sprogs' birthdays this month and her bank account is severely depleted*

Mair will be 13 and Christopher, 10 this month.....

I love the Narnia stories and had read the whole set by the time I was 9. Mair had them as a 7th birthday present and she also loves the books.

It was an interview with DNA on BBC Radio 4, shortly after we bought this PC, that put me on to h2g2 and I haven't looked back since!

Saskia is a lovely name. Is it German? Mair is pronounced Myer but with a Welsh accent, as it's Welsh (for Mary) and with a rolling of the "r".

*Gratefully declines the offer of a loaned toddler* I like to look and be wistful, but doubt if I could really cope with a toddler again...

My ex was in the REME, attached to the Air Corps. I left him when Mair was 13 months old, because of his drinking and incidents of violence. He never tried to see Mair, as he never wanted her in the first place (actually wanted me to "get rid of it"), and I haven't seen him since the day I moved out. There has been the odd drunken phone call, with declarations of undying love...but not for the past couple of years. He may not even still be living. The last I heard, he was court-martialled and ejected from the army because of his alcoholism. Waste of a life and career. Alcohol has a lot to answer for...

Middlesborough, hey? I went there once, about 8 years ago and was glad to leave, to be honest. Apologies to your hubby! To be honest, although there is some lovely countryside around here, economically, the area is a disaster, and I really wish we'd stayed down south when we returned from New Zealand...

As you're both out of the army now, and obviously British, do you find it easy to find work there and are you able to vote in the German electoral system yet? How frequently do you visit the UK and would you ever consider returning here to live?

There! LOADS of questions! That should keep you going in your lunch hour!!!

That wasn't such good planning having both sprogs in July......!! Eveline is 2 at the end of this month. Saskia's birthday is New Years' Eve. Which is rubbish for her now, but later on will always have someone there ready for a party on the day. Eveline's birthday is right in the school holidays, so she won't get a party because all her little friends are away.... hard life being a kid, isn't it.

to the questions..

Saskia is a Dutch name (we live right on the boarder) I met someone years ago with the name and thought.... well, you know how it is. Eveline was supposed to be called Evangeline (after the character in the House of Elliot on TV) but then I remembered a song I liked called Eveline. BTW: are you Welsh? I lived near Pembroke for a while and hated it, I have to say! Although now I find the countryside round there rather dramatic and beautiful (we lived on top of a cliff).

I used to have a boyfriend in the REME attached to the AAC - actually we were engaged. But he was very posessive and didn't want me to have my own career (typical soldier's attitude, I find) and we broke up. But the Army has a lot to answer for: their culture is geard around drinking and smoking and being one of the herd (sheep) which is why I liked the Int Corps. Not very military at all. You sound as though you're much better off without your ex. Shame for your daughter though.....

Mick would never hold it against you that you don't like Middlesborough - he's not too keen either. It's very depressing, and everyone has to be giving you a "hard stare" all the time (especially the teenage girls). Yuk. And Saskia always gets bronchitis there, on account of the ICI thing I think. All in all a place to avoid.

We try to get back to UK once a year, but this year we're going on "proper" holiday (to Austria) so we won't be over until January. You can pop over to Middlesborough & visit if you like..... My parents live in Sheffield which is altogether more civilized.

It can be really difficult living here (I sometimes have a problem communicating my exact thoughts in a 2nd language - who wouldn't?) but generally it's ok. For General & Local elections we're (the only thing I would thank Ms Thatcher for) allowed to vote in UK. My dad does it for us. For Local (to the local council) and European Elections we vote here. But not for anything very important (like getting rid of fat boy Kohl, for instance). The things I really hate the most are the supermarkets. Don't get me started on that unless you have lots of time and patience! The thing I was really dreading but which was ok was giving birth to the sproglets. I wasn't sure of any of the vocabulary, but I soon picked it up. In with Saskia I did all my shouting & screaming (and there was lots of it) in German. With Eveline it was quicker (2 hours start to finish) and I did shouting in English and between contractions had a normal conversation with the doctor in German about the NHS. The other thing which is a bit odd for me is the school system, and of course, I don't know many of the nursery rhymes or songs in German. If I could get a good job in England (to preserve our nice high standard of living) wild horses wouldn't keep me away.... although I like it here and it will be good for the girls to grow up bilingual.

Do you ever wish you had stayed in NZ? What about going back there??

Lunch is up, and I'm actually written off sick at the mo, so I don't know when I'll be back......

Sorry to hear you've been signed off sick. I hope it's nothing too horrid and that you're better soon.

Yes, I frequently wish we'd stayed in New Zealand! John was born there (in the Bay of Islands area, North Island) and has most of his family there too. However, as Christopher turned out to be autistic, I think we're better off here in the UK with regards to the help we get for him and the special school he attends.

I know what you mean about "typical" squaddies though. My ex's "mates" used to ridicule him for letting me drive "his" car (although we both worked) although he'd actually written my car off (which I had before we were married) in the first place. Oops! I'm "bitching" - sorry! That's one of the reasons we moved out of married quarters and bought our own place. I guess that I matured (well, sort of ) and he just stayed drinking, smoking and partying which was encouraged even more once he got his third stripe up and the booze was even cheaper! Also, it didn't help matters because I never accompanied him on postings, so he was living in single soldiers accomodation. I did speak to one of his friends, after we split up, who told me that the army had tried to help my ex dry out, and actually put him in hospital twice, but he went AWOL (on a drunken binge) which was the final straw...

I'm not surprised that your daughter couldn't breath whilst in Middlesborough, and don't know how people manage to live there. That ICI plant has a lot to answer for as I've watched documentaries on t.v. about how the local wildlife and plants suffer as well as the ill health of the local population. It was a hot and sunny day when we visited, with no breeze and the smell of chemicals was awful.

My father is Welsh, by the way. I was born and grew up in Middlesex, on the border with Buckinhamshire and was really fortunate to have the benefits of the country side or access to London.

I didn't "plan" the births of my children - they just happened to fall in July, like mine is the 1st July. 43 years old now! Yuck!!! I can't believe it.

Do you have an email facility at work? If you have, I'll give you my address, if you'd like to drop me a line or two.

When are you off to Austria? *Goes green with envy* Have a wonderful time...

So, you don't like German supermarkets? Why? Do tell.... Shall I sit comfortably?

Thanks for all the info. on the voting lark by the way. Catch you soon, hopefully...

Only two hours?
That is not too long at all,
You lucky thing you.

When Jordan was born,
It took a very long time,
Thirty six hours!

Oh well, that's just life,
Some things come quickly, some don't,
It depends, I guess.

Oh and by the way,
What's wrong with supermarkets,
Where you are living?

I've got enough time,
To read long rant about,
"Living overseas".

Zeitgeist
Zeitgeist

Ouch! *Thuds to floor* 36 hours?

You must have slept for a week!

Oh, loads & loads of questions to answer here.....

I'm working even though I'm sick, only because I'm not infectious though, (touch of bronchitis and a recurring ear infection - for anyone who's interested!) what a hero (I'm off until Tuesday then, off to a wedding in Berlin - what a glamourous life I lead!)

So, Gwennie - I have a computer & internet access at home, but it's a dinosaur so I can't get on the h2g2 site, but you can e-mail me anytime you like: [email protected]

I hated the Army culture of drinking & drinking & annoying women soldiers (the wives, sorry, were good at that. They always assumed that we wanted to jump in their husbands' sleeping bags on exercise. Which anyone would, of course, when the husband in question was a big fat drunken slob who hadn't washed for about 6 years - that's why I joined up!! sorry, going on again)

What next: supermarkets (could be here for hours) they have very little variety. Usually 1 or 2 brands (and an own-brand if you're lucky). Veggies can just about forget it (i go shopping in Holland for Quorn and other veggie type stuff) [oh yes, Mr. Zeitgeist: I live in Germany, although I'm English - you are a male personage, aren't you?? or did I read your previous postings wrong?] The trolleys are always out in the rain, and they have never heard of wide spaces for parent & child (actually there are about 2 in the whole country, but they usually contain a BMW....) the trollies with baby seat things are practically nonexistant. If you see one it is likely to: a) be full of cardboard boxes by the exit or b) be pushed round by a lone bloke, no kid, talking to someonone his mobile. Trollies with seating for 2 kids are not available*. They don't stack their shelves overnight. Oh no. They stack them during the day. And leave Pallets between the (far too narrow) aisles. So you have to leave your 1 kid in the trolley at the end of the aisle to either: a) get kidnapped by a wierdo, b) fed sweets by an old lady, who is complaining that you have left your kid unattended, c) empty glass jars all over the floor or d) climb out, fall on their head and be seriously injured. (I'm warming to my theme now) When I had just had Eveline (Saskia was 19 months old) I had to have the baby in a sling and Saskia (bungee jumper extraordinaire) in a trolley; weave past pallets, reach for things totally unhampered by help from assistants, get moaned at by the people in the queue behind me because I wasn't quick enough un/loading my trolley at the checkout....etc. etc. I (while I was on maternity leave) used to ask for the manager on my regular Monday run, every week for 1 year, to ask about trolleys with 2 seats. Every week. He knew me very well. One day (after about 13 months of badgering) he called me at home. "we have a trolley for you" boomed extatically down the wire (told you I was in my stride) so I zoomed round there

didn't mean to leave that exciting cliffhanger there (good effect though, eh?)

... so I zoomed round, and: trolley, 2 seats for babies up to 12kg (which! I used for a while). I expected a plaque with my name on it or something!
Supermarkets, what else? Surly people only need apply for a job. (the manager of my local supermarket, and I live in the middle of nowhere so there isn't much of a choice) is ok. He managed a place in the States for a while and acknowledges that the service in Germany "leaves a lot to be desired" but that the customers "don't expect it so they don't get it". My eyes usually glaze over about then... What else? Oh yes: they don't accept credit cards - which isn't so bad untill my bank account is empty and I urgently need nappies or something. They don't help you find stuff you're looking for other than to wave a limp hand in the general direction of the whole of the rest of the supermarket with the sentence "it's over there", they don't help you pack your bag, or carry it to the car (even if you're disabled or otherwise encumbered - there are a lot of twins round here for some reason, which makes shopping difficult for lots of people..) anyway. That's enough. You need a nice cup of tea now, and a trip to Sainsbury's.

Light at the end of the tunnel: Chunky Kit-Kats are now available (English-style milk chocolate!) in Jet petrol stations. I'm happy to be alive again.

Middlesborough: my sister-in-law told me about a major fire there fairly recently. It took the "authorities" about 5 hours to start to issue warnings about staying indoors & closing the windows. There is a very high incidence of asthma there (Saskia has chronic bronchitis due to being a baby that brought up more than she swallowed) and I always get a bit chesty (but I'm a bit of a big girl's blouse as far as my lungs are concerned). What a place. I feel sorry for people who have no choice but to live there.

Labour: Saskia was induced (on New Years' Eve, I ask you - I think they were trying to fill a quota!!) and took 4 1/2 hours of real labour, and about 4 hours of mild contractions to arrive. I always say 4 1/2 hours because the contraction bit was OK. I was reading a great book, and wanted to finish before I had no more time (The Robe - brilliant). I hated that labour... but that's enough of that. Eveline was a scream. Mick was at the airport collecting his 16 year old niece. Saskia was with my friend. I had GYN appt (foetal monitor) nothing. Then, up in the chair, and suddenly I couldn't move. Agony. Doc said: call your husband. I said: great, I can go home and sit in the bath. Doc said: nope young lady, you go to hospital, you're at 8 cm and could start to want to push at any time. Called home, nobody. Called baby sitter: nobody... then got Mick. He screamed round the surgery (I was crawling round the waiting room, dodging legs at that time - about 6 pm) got to hospital 7pm (crawling round the lift much to the amusement of the kids there) then finally found a nurse (shift change time) and a midwife, got Eric Clapton on the CD player (but that's a whole new story) then pushed the baby out at 8pm. Easy peasy. I do not envy anyone with a more than 5 hour labour, and recommend epidural for anyone that goes over 5 hours.

That's your lot. You're probably in a coma by now.

Sho

Gosh! And I thought I could rant about stuff! Well done that woman!!!!! *Passes Sho a huge pint size mug of steaming tea*

I'll send you an Email today in reply to your "ravings". Poor you - and I thought my local Co-Operative Super Store (well that's what they like to call it) was bad..... That certainly puts me in my place, hey?

Don't make yourself too ill by staying on at work and being a martyr! It could make you develop a secondary infection if you get run down...

*Offers Sho one of her thermal vests and some Potters Vegetable Cough Remover*

It's mega mega hot stuff and works quite well. Think of drinking a "Fisherman's Friend" - no I'm not being rude - the cough sweet called by that name!

I'm not working myself to death (mum ) just finishing off some stuff before I go away for a few days (and looking at h2g2 between slurps of coffee and bite of kitkat chunky)

Regarding supermarkets I'm afraid it developed into a bit of a "tic" with me - but I do have more stories if you have the time to "listen"

and.... where can I get Potters Vegetable Cough Remover? (I don't have to rub it on my chest do I?) is it ok for kids?

Thanks for the vest, I'll wash it carefully - do you want it pressed too? (I'm good at that being an ex-soldier)

"Potter's Vegetale Cough Remover, a Herbal Remedy" is what the bottle says. It's manufactured by Haigh Investment Co. Ltd., Wigan, WN1 2SB
in a 200ml bottle. Perhaps your parents could send you some. I think health food shops sell it.

Oh, I've got pleanty of time to listen to more stories!

Thanks, but don't worry about pressing me old vest! It'll only get screwed up in a drawer anyway!

Hello!

Having read these posts,
My wife decided that she,
Wanted to reply.

So, without ado,
Here the lovely lady is,
Mrs L Zeitgeist!

*Rant warning!*
*Rant warning!*

"Hello everyone, none of this haiku stuff for me but as long as you are talking about labour, I would just like to say you had it easy!
I wish it was 5 hours for me, it got to the point of being ridiculous. I asked if we could stop, but the bugger of a midwife just laughed at me. My contractions started at about 2 in the morning which was rather inconvenient for me but I didnt have much choice, *sigh* babies can be so rude. I was supposed to be induced that day anyway, so she didn't save herself much time. 18 hours after the contractions had started, I was in hospital, in agony (as you would know) and, realising that the gas was doing absolutely nothing, I decided on an epidural.
This caused yet more pain (Yippee! [sarcasm]). 6 hours later, I dont know if you were told about this but were you told that there could be a window of pain that the epidural cant quite get rid of? Well I wasn't and lucky me had that window of pain [oooh! more sarcasm!].
By this time Mr Zeitgeist had run away to have one of two naps during all this (I still give him hell about it). 10 hours later I cant stand it any longer and they give me pethadine as well (I dont think the midwife could stand any more of my nagging). I pass out.
After an hour I come to, with doctors and two midwifes running around like headless chooks. I found it quite funny (mind you I was still off my head on Peth... mmmm.... pethadine....) I was informed that with just 2 cm to go, a code blue emergency was being called and I was rushed up to the operating theater and an hour later Jordan Allegra was born 7lb 12oz.
All this trouble and she was so small! It turned out that the cord was wrapped around her neck and it had been for a while but the doctors didnt pick it up, I went through all that and I didnt need to, I still dont trust doctors......
*gets down off her soap box*
Thank you,
Here's Mr Zeigeist again

I think thats enough,
Has been said for this one post,
More from her, later.....

Well I guess that's if,
You want to hear more ranting,
From my gorgeous wife.

Zeitgeist.

Hi Mrs. Zeitgeist...

Wow! That was some birth! Poor John wishes he'd gone for a sleep when Christopher was born as his crushed hand has never quite got all of it's sensation back!

That was a close call with the cord being wrapped round Jordan's neck. Was she okay after the birth?

After the long birth,
With the cord around her neck,
Jordan was okay.

Lauren and I though,
Were both completely knackered,
It took far too long!

On the other hand,
If I'd been knackered before,
No daughter for us.

Ah, yes, hand crushing,
I remember that quite well,
My poor little hands!

Back to the present,
Today was my interview,
It was quite daunting.

I've no references,
So I can't get a good job,
So I can't get refs!

But, it's not that bad,
I just have to find a boss,
Who'll risk hiring me.

Mrs L Zeitgeist,
Is thinking of joining up,
To h2g2.

Do either of you,
Have any advice for her?
If so, please post here.

Zeitgeist

Well here i am Mrs Zeitgeist finally got her own account I can now stop reading over hubbys shoulder , instead I can kick him off the puter so I can have a go
Eala

Hey! What did I do,
To deserve being kicked off,
This computer here?

Glad you could make it,
Lots of kisses and cuddles,
For my lovely wife.

*kiss cuddle cuddle*
*kiss cuddle cuddle kiss kiss*
*kiss kiss kiss cuddle*

Zeitgeist (okay, so that last one was silly)

Hoy! Stop that canoodling all over my page!!!

*Squirts Mr & Mrs Zeitgeist with a soda syphon*

Welcome Eala! Luverly to see you (virtually of course)! There aren't any helpful tips really. It depends what sort of forums you want to participate in. There are all sorts of clubs/societies on h2g2. The Post on the front page is always a good read.

If you want to join in some of the parties I'm in, just follow the links from my home page and introduce yourself. Everyone is very friendly and will welcome you.

Mr. Zeitgeist...I do so wish you luck with your job seeking. I'm still waiting to hear from the Citizens Advice Bureau about a VOLUNTARY position as an admin. assistant for 6 hours per week. They've asked the manageress of the Red Cross charity shop where I work as a volunteer for references and she has given me a wonderful reference *blushes*.

Is it possible for you to do some voluntary work and so get some references from there?

In case you missed me (which by the looks of things nobody has, sniff) I'M BACK!
Mr. Zeitgeist: please don't get depressed. I have hundreds (literally) of anecdotes about not getting jobs. Any chance of setting up on your own?
Mrs. Zeitgeist: ouch! OUCH! So, when's the next baby scheduled for??
Gwennie: Um. I was away, and I haven't looked at any e-mails for ages, but I will be in touch.

I was at a wedding in the old East Germany. Oh, and it is just like you would imagine: it hasn't changed a bit, apparently. I had to have a big rant and rave in a MacDonalds, I think I'll write a journal entry about it, so have a look at my user page sometime.
Now I have to do some work, I'll be back at lunchtime-ish.
Sho