h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not bragging. I get severely depressed (ok, very very down) about them very often (more than 4 times a week) Especially if I have been on a diet and lost weight (because I'm the only woman in the world who's weight goes of her bum and legs)

My cossie problem is that if it fits at the bottom bit, it doesn't even come up over the Zeppelins. If it (half-way) covers the mammaries, then I can fit both legs in one hole. I have to get one before next Friday because we're going on our jollies, and I want to swim every day (I need to start some exercise & shift some fat). Very down about it. The only cossies I found on Saturday were for grannies (big upholstered boulder-holsters) and wide enough for the whole family! That wouldn't have been so bad if they weren't all lime green with huge day-glo pink flowers on. Maybe I'll just eat 4,000 chunky kit-kats, buy one of those and not care anymore!

I'm waiting for the day that I can persuade my doc that the boobs have to be reduced to save my mental health (so the health insurance will pay)
Sho
x

I've got a friend who is in a similar situation to yourself. She's quite petite and a 34 EE! She was very brave and bought a "front loader" bra which popped open in Newcastle, just as she was walking past a building site! Fortunately, she was carrying bags of shopping which she was able to hug to her front in order to disguise her predicament! She's now names this bra as her "Carry On" bra.

Also, a few years ago, I used to work with a girl who always wore high necked, baggy jumpers and shirts to avoid drawing attention to her "endowments".

Then again, there's another friend of a friend who, when finding that a male colleague is gawping at her boobs and not her face whilst talking to her, sticks her own hand up her jumper and out of the top of her tee shirt/jumper and waggles her fingers at them!

I can still remember what it was like to have "whoppers" from when my milk first came in after having Mair and Christopher and found it very uncomfortable and inconvenient at being so large.

*Regards her current "shoulder blades" and becomes wistful*

Ah. I can relate to all of that, especially the finger waggling part!! ROFL! 34EE ouch. Does she have back problems? I have... nope, I'm not telling (although I wear an F right now and I think it should be G or H!!)
I decided ages ago to give up the baggy stuff, it just makes me look fat. I discovered (too late in life) that it is tailoring that counts (and since I make most of my own clothes, this came very late on) and not covering up.

When I was a teenager (and wore t-shirts a lot) my mum used always to walk just behind me so that she could get a good laugh at men's faces when they saw the chest. Lilo Lil ain't got nothing on me!!

I'll do you a deal if you like, like one of those Star Trek things where we both lie in sick bay at the same time and some scrummy (ok EMH) starfleet doctor does a boob transfusion. How much do you want? (remembering the maxim that more than a handful is a waste...... )

I finally got a swimmy to fit - and quite by chance it's a speedo. So I'm happy about that (even though it was too expensive).

Off on my jollies on Friday....... unless we run out of petrol too... not likely in the land where Cars are better than God.

It's a good job I just checked, as my initial reply seems to have become lost in the ether!

*Scratches her head whilst trying to rack her mamory (oops!) memory for what it was she said*

It was something along these lines...

In case we don't "meet" before you go, I hope you have a nice holiday and that the picketing of petrol depots/oil refineries doesn't spread to Germany & Austria whilst you're on holiday. Good news about the swimming costume too!

Also, do you think the EMH would transfer your bulk to my sad excuses by the transporter or just resort to plain old liposuction?

I think that's all it was...

*Wanders off muttering to herself*

"rack the mamory" is that the best you can do????

Hm, I don't think the picketing will come here (compared to UK they don't have anything to complain about). And I really don't mind if I can't get back......

Probably the EMH would have to resort to liposuction. It would be odd though, you would end up looking like Pamela Anderson and I'll be (at last!!) Twiggy.

I'm here 'till Thursday. then: Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Pamela who?

I've got dark brown locks, not a bottle blonde rinse!

Holidays! Yes...I remember those! *Wistful sigh*

The last holiday I had was my honeymoon with John, while Mair stayed with my parents. We went to Malta (we'd both been there before) and John took his P.A.D.I. Advanced Open Water scuba diving course while I whittled the hours away, writing huge essays by the pool. At the time, I was studying to be a Yoga teacher and had to do heaps of theory, essays including an analysis the Bhagavad Ghita! (What a job for an atheist!)

Honeymoon? We trekked round Germany visiting rock festivals.

Still teach Yoga? I want to give it a try when I can stay awake after work long enough. How do you reconcile the spiritual side of it with being an atheist? I have often considered something like Bhuddism, but can't go the last mile to believing in some big power. But the idea of meditation and being "good" is quite attractive.

How is the petrol thing affecting you? Will the kids still be able to get to school if the busses can't get filled up? It's a big pain in the bum, I bet. I'm actually on the side of the drivers (what sane person wouldn't be?) but I wonder if cocking up everyone else's life too is the right way. Maybe it is and we all have to "bite the bullet" and suffer a bit. The German unions have said they won't picket refineries - yet. Their main target is to cause gridlock around the Parliament building in Berlin (they're having a protest in Saarbrucken too - but I don't see how that will help). On a selfish note, I hope they hold off with any action until I'm safely in Austria!

Saskia keeps telling everyone she meets that we're going on holiday to Austria on Friday. And that mummy has to go to work to get the pennies to pay for the car and that daddy gets the pennies for the holiday (I think she has the impression that we work at the Royal Mint!) Bless her!

I like the sound of trekking round Germany visiting rock festivals! Mind you, I was a bit too old for that sort of stuff by the time John and I married!

No, I haven't taught Yoga for about three years now as it was a struggle to get out in the evening, never find enough time to prepare the work for the class. As it is, I could do with going to lessons as I practice far to infrequently on my own. Normally, I find a quiet corner down the gym or practice before the kids wake up at the weekends. The most I get now is a few stretches after my shower every morning.

"The petrol thing" is pretty grim here at the moment. To my knowledge, most local garages are empty of unleaded and just about empty of diesel. Christopher's taxi was late home the night before last because they had trouble locating some diesel and then had to queue when the did. It's damned inconvenient and I do sympathise with the protesters, but I don't agree with them.

Strangely enough, although I moan about the cost of fuel, being a "Greenie" means that I can see the reasoning behind it all. Also, I know that the price increases will encourage another global economic recession, but if it helps to make people think before they jump into the car and go on a short journey which could have easily been walked, then so be it! (I don't think there'll be many people sympathetic to my views at the moment though!) Besides, petroleum supplies will be exhausted by the turn of this century and alternatives to fossil fuels have to be found anyway so, with global warming as it is and an ozone hole the size of the US over Antarctica, the sooner, the better a viable alternative is found. Possibly the high price of fuel with make industry as well as private citizens think about how to economise and may even instigate more money being spent on research into alternatives.

*Gwennie climbs down off her soap box before it's kicked from under her*

I would think that Saskia thinks you work at the Royal Mint making Polos (the one you eat, not drive )!!

Kids come out with some wonderful ideas and one-liners, don't they?

Christopher still refers to "pins and needles" in his legs as their having "gone fizzy".

Are your kids able to slip in and out of German/English easily? Also, do you speak German around the house to improve their studies when they eventually go to school?

I have to say, that I do agree with you. Although the situation with public transport, and huge out of town shopping centres doesn't help. My idea is that we have to improve the inftastructure of public transport an exponential amount (and if that involves re-nationalising it, then it has to be done) before anyone will even think of not using their cars. And the way towns have developed, the less well-off people (ie like me) have to use their cars to get to work. And it's no good telling them (us) to reduce our car use, because it's not possible. So we have to cut down on other things (for me it's ok, I earn a good wage, but I know others who take no holidays, the kids - and them - wear their clothes/shoes until they fall apart, and - the worst thing in my book - have to buy cheap filling food, which is unhealthy) I can also see the point of farmers/small freight companies/taxi drivers who need to earn a living and are trapped into doing a job which necessitates the use of fuel. They also have families to feed. No government is investing nearly enough into alternative energy sources (although companies like BMW and Bayer over here are doing loads, of course because it's in their own interests, but they don't get too much help from politicians) and having made the decision to turn town centres into wastelands, there's not much going back now! *gets of your soap box*

Thanks for the loan of the soapbox, mine got damaged last time I was ranting about German shops!

*back on box for one last blast*
And America can just flaming well stop all their emissions and "get with the programme" that the rest of the world is sticing to. So there!

And on with lighter things:Saskia and Eveline cried their eyes out because the "catses have gone holiday" (Eveline) - my friend is looking after them. Then they brightened up when it came to packing: but I'm not really only taking (for Eveline) one green sock, one vest, two pairs of pyjamas and her wellies, topped up with her quilt and her Pilchard the cat, nor indeed am I taking (for Saskia) all her new knickers (12 pairs), Barbie (aarrgghhh!) a talking Peter Rabbit book, her bike, and my best lipstick. I think you have probably "been there"?

I like the idea of having fizzy legs. It's just the right description! Saskia won't say "getting dressed" if she's putting trousers on..... logical.

We only speak English at home - I worry that I'll make too many mistakes in German, and really they only hear English from us, so they need to practice. Eveline doesn't speak much German (not much English, either) but understands everything anyone says to her. Saskia just speaks both with ease. She sometimes refuses to speak English to us, but I persevere and answer any questions posed in German in English. She has an uncanny knack of knowing which language to use when she meets an adult for the first time. With kids (except 2 little English friends) she speaks German. And to her dolls & teddies. And when she's talking to herself. It's a bit strange sometimes. And last evening on the bedtime story tv show they showed a cartoon (in German) of a book she has (in English) about a mole going to bed. And she just got on with it (anticipating the next line) in German. So she, in effect, translated it (perfectly, I might add - I'm so proud ) all the way through! Wierd the way the brain works.

And now: toodle pip until the week after next.

PS. What's too old for a rock festival? Because: a) I still go when I get the chance (and I'm 36, Mick is 41), and b) My mum still goes, and she's ....well, nearly 60)

If you read this before you leave work, have nice holiday and check for my Email which I sent last night (I think it was to your home address).

Maybe I'm just too much of a boring old fart to go to rock festivals then!

If I were you, I'd be really proud of my girls being able to tackle both languages as they do.

Take care, have fun and hope to catch you in a couple of weeks.