h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Actually, I think this misses the point entirely.

I think the entirity of the Bible can be summed up easily by Bill and Ted:

"Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!"

Cutlery

I looooove that film! And their message!

Oh yeah, that film rules! And it's so simple it's unreal! Just like that guy who got nailed to a tree for saying wouldn't it be great to be nice to everyone for a change. But noone listens.

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Maybe that guy didn't get nailed to a tree. There is a theory that it wasn't him , that a substitute took his place. Think about it, the crucifixation took place at Golgotha, a private garden, with very little access for those not invited. From a distance, anyone could have been on that cross.

The Magdelene ends up in Marseille, and she's pregnant. Joseph of Arimathea ends up at Glastonbury with his nephew, Jesus jnr. Jesus snr. has a tomb in India, or possibly one in Cardou, France.

I mean, these could all be myths... or someone else was nailed to the tree.

Yeah, but that's not the point. The point is, he said "be nice to each other" and the people who follow him aren't.

Agreed, 'be nice to each other' was the generally expressed sentiment. But whose sentiment? Jesus also said, "let him who hath not a sword sell his togs and get one". Why send a whole cohort to arrest a dozen or so peaceniks, as the Romans did? Your man JC was up for it, he was armed to the teeth. Someone else made the words up. I think 'By All Means Necessary' would have been his words and people have hijacked his name to do a bunch of crap.

Wait a minute... MY man JC? The only JC I worship is John Cleese I don't care how Jesus did his stunts, if he did do them, I just care about the fact that he said "Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes" - or words to that effect - and people have been killing each other ever since over how exactly he said it.

And these are meant to be "followers". "Holy men". Hmm...

Jesue was not crucified in a public garden. He was not crucified in the Garden of Gethsemane...that was where he went to pray the night before his crucifixion. Crucifixion is a very public way of execution, and he was crucified on Calvary. There were many people watching...some of whom were his mother, his disciples, the soldiers who gambled for his clothes, mary magdaline.....and the Jews who made fun of him telling him to call on angels or Elijah to help him if he really was the Messiah.

Ahem.
'"Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes" - or words to that effect - and people have been killing each other ever since over how exactly he said it.'
Jesus may have had said something along those lines, but he also said something else. He said "Follow Me." not follow my followers. Follow me. Jesus was not a hypocrite, nor was he a liar. He said he was the Son of God. Follow the Son of God. Don't do something because everyone else is doing it; killing each other over a translation. Both could be wrong. God isn't.

Amen brother!

Tim!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gives him a huge electronic hug*

Dude, when did you join??

(I couldn't find a way to respond to your user page; excuse me Prez Peregrin and everyone else for intruding...)