h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Quote:
"878 AD: England narrowly escapes complete overthrow by Vikings; King Alfred of Wessex alone survives and gradually wins back."

King Alfred was the single survivor in entire England??? And barehandedly alone defeated all the vikings and kicked them back over
the north sea?

Well, not quite. He was the sole ruling monarch of the remaining Anglo-Saxon kingdoms to survive. I chose 878, as this is the year he was forced to flee into the marshes of Somerset (and burn some cakes), and then return to defeat a Viking army led by Guntrum at Edington. Jolly clever fellow Alfred!

Well, recent discoveries have established that the Vikings actually were a bunch of "sissies" (spell?), so maybe he did kick them back all by himself. Having rested he then developed genetic engineering and cloned himself (partitioning his "offspring" into the five well-known genders).