h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some Christians in Philadelphia were just sentenced to 47 years for reading the Bible in public. Oh, and fines of $90,000 were tacked on as well.

They were just standing on a sidewalk, reading out loud. Last I checked, rights to free speech and assembly were still protected by the constitution. Apparently not when you're politically incorrect, it seems.

Now, I will admit that they were in a position where they knew that feathers would be ruffled. But this is ridiculous. I mean, they were charged with eight different crimes, three of which were felonies. First of all, they were charged with inciting a riot. Now, there's a video of what actually happened, and I don't think you can really call this a riot. The closest thing to a riot was that a group of people called the "Pink Angels" (I think that's it anyway, I'm basing that on memory) attempted to drown out the speaking with whistles and block the signs with stuff. Has "riot" been demoted to describe things that kids do an playgrounds?

Next, there's "ethnic intimidation." Now, before I consider if this actually occured here, I'd like to think about a guy I call Joe. I don't know his real name, I've never had a chance to talk to Joe, and I needed a placeholder name while typing this. But Joe is a protester. Once a year, there's a public gathering of Christians in a city near me. And every year, Joe comes with his "Jesus Never Existed" sign. From what I hear, Joe's a nice guy when you get past the sign. Is Joe, while simply standing and stating a personal belief of his in public, participating in "religious intimidation"? I doubt it. Similarly, if someone were to show up and read an incredibly anti-religious text, I highly doubt that anyone would charge this new person of a similar crime. So why is it intimidating in this case?

Finally, they were charged with possessing an instrument of crime. That's right, ladies and gentlemen: these people were carrying a bullhorn. STOP THE PRESSES! THEY'VE GOT A BULLHORN, AND THEY AREN'T LICENSED TO! SAVE THE CHILDREN, THEY OWN A BULLHORN! Since when is it a felony to carry a bullhorn?! People use them all the time at public events and aren't even given misdemeanor charges! What type of horrendous jump of logic would actually cause a person to believe that a bullhorn could be construed as an illegal possession? If I was jaywalking while performing a trick with a Yo-Yo, would I be fined for being a mildly more distracting jaywalker? No? Why not?

Sorry to rant like this, everyone. But this is the scariest thing that I've read in a long time. I mean...what if I ever started picketing, for instance, a porn theater? What if I started suggesting that people boycot products advertised on a TV show where the star frequently describes what he did while on drugs the previous night? What if (now here's the crazy one) I stood in front of a bar with a sandwichboard that had Bible verses about not getting drunk?

Now, getting drunk is something that people do. Frequently! Will I be arrested for publically stating what my religious beliefs are? I mean, there I am, going against something that this hypothetical "me" believes to be a sin sees as a sin, going in against the public opinion that says otherwise. Oh, and I'm carrying a bullhorn. (BTW, I don't personally think that drinking is, in and of itself, a sin per se. But there are some Christians who do, and I think that their rights to say so should be protected).

Along with all the other crazy stuff about this, I'm adding this to my ever-growing "List Of Hate Crimes That Aren't Really Crimes Nor Are They Hateful," which sits right next to my ever-growing "List Of Hateful Crimes Against Christians That Are Somehow Never Called Hateful" (didja know that someone was recently hunted down and shot to death because the killer thought that they might be Christians and that he could get away with it? Yep. He hated Christians enough to track them down in the middle of nowhere, and yet "hate crime" was suspiciously absent from his rap sheet. But I digress). I'm tired of people just slapping the term "Hate Crime" on anything whenever someone says that something goes against their personal belief.

Now, before I get jumped on for that, I will admit: there are people who (falsley) believe themselves to be Christians who do commit hate crimes. I've always wondered whatever twisted facet of their brains believed the doctrines of their "faith" to promote hate. Asteroid Lil, for instance, recently showed such an example of a church that was glad for the recent Tsunami because some homosexuals would have died in it (I mean, how can they not see that they're hating, and that hating itself is a sin? How can they even call themselves Christians?) People who honestly do hate will commit crimes based on that hate, and will therefore commit hate crimes. Believe me, I'm not defending those people.

But here in Philadelphia, this was neither a crime, nor was it an event that was brought on by hate. It was brought on (and I can feel the eyes rolling as I type this, people. I'm sorry, but I feel that it's gotta be said) because these Christians were naturally concerned about the end results of the strangers that they were meeting that day.

I mean, here they are, trying to save people from an eternal fire, and they're tossed in jail for it. That is not hate! I've seen a lot of people who hate it when people try to save them (come on, be honest: none of us are grateful to have wandering missionaries knock on our door and ruin our day by talking to us and handing out pamphlets. I know I'm not, even though I should be). I can certainly understand why people hate it when efforts to save them are made, I really can.

But I refuse to believe that we should stop. I have too many non-Christian friends. I don't want them to suffer. I know that I wouldn't want to suffer in that position, annoying as it might be while the process occurs.

But 47 years....man. Half a century because they had the audacity to read from a book and hold up signs....I can only hope that I'll still be this enraged if it ever happens to a non-Christian person.

This has gotta stop, people. Before Joe loses his right to protest against me and my friends.

Okay, Affy, take a deep breath.

Good.

Those christians are charged, not convicted. They face a maximum for 47 years, but they have not yet gone to trial. This is not a done deal and interventions are being made.

http://releases.usnewswire.com/GetRelease.asp?id=41256

Thanks for the link, Witty. I know, and I shouldn't have reacted quite as vehemently as I did.

I was working on far too little sleep when I checked my email this morning, so rather than actually look into the matter after I learned about it I said, "Hey, I know! I'll go on a tirade! That's the logical thing to do."

I don't know quite why I was so steamed about this one thing, but looking over that post....I generally don't like getting angry, so it's good that I had a nice long, slush-filled drive to get through, giving my head a little time to clear. I'm still a bit irrational, though. I just tossed "vehemently" into a sentence up there without actually checking a dictionary to make sure that it means what I vaguely remember it meaning. Think I'll do that after I post.

Anyway, sorry to rant like that. I'll get back to being a vaguely passive sideline commentator who runs an invention shop.

At least I posted on h2g2 where the rantings would probably only be seen by fairly rational people. Can't even think of how bad it'd have been if I'd done it at, say, Rarextreme or something.

BTW, thanks again Witty.

You know, looking over the article I don't see anything about the blow horn....

It's crazy how litigous some stuff is getting, though. Judging from the sound of it, the five remaining protesters'll probably be allowed to walk free soon, even if they don't get much in the way of legal defense.

All in all, happy day.

Maybe, Maybe not Penny. I just heard an update.

Apparently, the Justice Department isn't going to be looking into whether or not any of the charges were misapplied, or how the situation was handled. From the same source (which I've not had time to cross reference for accuracy), apparently some Justice Department members themselves were on hand, advising the police on how to make the arrest and what to charge the arrested with (little word on who those Department attorneys were, so I can't check anywhere else to verify easily). There's also a story saying that a local police official (don't know if it was just an officer, or someone higher up) actually met multiple times before the event in preperation for dealing with any protesters. No word on what plans were made.

At the moment, I'm thinking that maybe because of some planning, they might've been afraid that an actual riot could be coming (it's easy to say that there was little danger of that now, but at the time it could've been harder to see), and so some officers and Jutice Department people just jumped the gun and went in a shade too early. Innocent mistake.

Also, it'd explain why the Justice Department might not want an investigation. If they're partially responsible, they wouldn't want any implication. So, they could just be hoping that the thing gets tossed out in court so that no harm'll be done to anyone.

It's still a creepy situation, but much less so on nine hours of sleep than on two.